Sophie searched his face, puzzled.
‘I can see you’re a bit cautious,’ Paul said, handing her back her glass. ‘I don’t blame you. You’re right to be. But I’d like to make up for some of the things I haven’t been able to do for you. Why don’t you ring her yourself, if you’re worried? Put your mind at rest.’
Sophie took another drink. ‘I suppose I could text her. I don’t really want to talk to her.’
Placing her glass on the coffee table, she dropped her bag on the floor and delved into it for her phone. And then, her heart skipping a beat, she delved deeper. ‘Shit,’ she muttered, dragging the contents out of it.
‘What’s wrong?’ Paul asked, watching as she searched.
‘It’s not here. My phone.’ Sophie swept her hair from her face. ‘Crap. I must have left it in the station.’
Paul sighed sympathetically. ‘Looks like there’s a new phone to add to that shopping list then.’
He obviously was made of money. Sophie didn’t turn down the offer. She already felt lost without her phone.
‘Do you want me to ring her?’ Paul asked, just as Sophie was debating whether to ask to use his phone. ‘It might save you some hassle if I speak to her.’
‘Would you mind?’ Sophie was actually grateful for the offer. Her mum would only text back, and then she’d be obliged to answer. She didn’t really want to get into dialogue of any sort right now. Wasn’t sure she would ever want to.
‘No problem. It’s probably a good idea to clear things with her before getting anything booked anyway. I have to go into town first thing tomorrow to see my bank manager. I was thinking of doing it then.’ He smiled and crouched to help her collect up her stuff. ‘Then, after everything’s booked and I’m out of my meeting, how about we head off somewhere for the day? The weather’s going to be mild, apparently. We might as well make the most of it.’
‘Like where?’ Sophie eyed him curiously.
‘Your choice. Somewhere fun,’ Paul suggested. ‘It might help take your mind off your problems.’
Sophie thought about it. ‘Blackpool,’ she said. ‘Maybe the theme park?’
‘Okay. Sounds good.’ Paul nodded, getting to his feet. ‘But you might have to hold my hand.’
Sophie frowned at him.
‘Scared of heights,’ Paul explained, shrugging embarrassedly.
Sophie smiled, feeling more at ease with a man who would admit to his vulnerabilities. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll look after you,’ she said, checking her jeans and jacket pockets for her phone, just in case, though she knew it wasn’t there. ‘But don’t you have work?’
‘I’m on leave,’ Paul said, offering her another reassuring smile. ‘And I’m more than happy to devote my time to getting to know you. Shall we check out where you’ll be sleeping?’ he asked, reaching to pick up her bag.
Thirty-One
ALICIA
Trembling from head to toe, Alicia stood under the freezing cold shower until her skin started to turn blue. It did nothing to numb the raw pain in her chest, the emptiness inside her where her babies had grown. A whole night she’d been gone. A whole night! Where was she?
Wiping away the tears, mingled with water, that were cascading down her face, she turned off the shower and climbed out, her body moving on autopilot; her mind on Sophie, imagining where she might be. In some dark, desolate place, as cold as she was? Her skin tinged blue? Wet and hungry, crying tears of anger and hurt, rather than fear and shame?
Please let her be safe. Clamping down hard on an image of her lying somewhere too lonely to contemplate, her body bruised and broken, Alicia clutched up a towel, pressed it hard to her face and suppressed a sob. She’d just heard someone pass on the landing. She hadn’t been sure whether it was Jess or Justin, but she didn’t want him to hear her. No doubt he’d think she deserved to cry on her own, but it would be another tug on his emotions, which were already in turmoil.
Staying where she was, she tried to think what to do, where to look. Sophie hadn’t been in contact with any of her friends, other than Chloe. After that – nothing. It was as if she’d disappeared off the face of the earth.
Please don’t let anything have happened to her.
Gulping hard, Alicia glanced upwards, praying that God might take pity on her for the sake of her daughter. Might Sophie call Justin, she wondered. If she couldn’t – wouldn’t – ring her, then surely, once she’d stopped to think, she would realise that Justin cared deeply. That whatever she’d done, he would never stop caring for her.
Contemplating sending her another text, her heart leapt into her mouth when her phone pinged on the shelf, echoing around the tiled walls of the bathroom. Not daring to hope, Alicia snatched it up and hastily read the message. And then reread it, her heart somersaulting in her chest.
I need to speak to you. I was going to call round, but I realise that might not be a good idea. I don’t want to cause any upset, Alicia, I promise you. I just want to do what’s best. Could we come to some arrangement perhaps?
Feeling her whole world shift, Alicia placed the phone back, staring at it as if it might bite her, and then scrambled, still damp, into her clothes. How had he got her number, she thought, as she pushed her feet into her flip-flops and squeaked open the bathroom door. She hadn’t… he must have taken it from her phone, she realised, anger tightening inside her, which he’d so magnanimously returned to her, completely careless of the fact that he was walking into Justin’s house uninvited. Squeezing her eyes closed, Alicia took a breath and hurried downstairs, moving silently so that Justin and Jessica, who were talking in the kitchen, didn’t hear her.
She had to speak to Paul Radley. Whether or not she wanted to, she had no choice now. She couldn’t have him coming anywhere near her. She had no idea how Justin might react if he did. Cold foreboding snaking the length of her spine, she eased the front door open, slipped out, walked away from the house, and then steeled herself and called him.
‘Hi, Ali,’ he answered on the fourth ring. ‘I take it you got my text? I would have rung, but I guessed that might be a bit awkward.’
‘Why are you doing this, Paul? What do you want?’ Alicia snapped.
Paul avoided the question. ‘Alicia, don’t you think it might be an idea to discuss this face-to-face, rather than over the phone?’ he said instead. ‘Why don’t we meet up and have a nice relaxed lunch, and then—’
‘Why, Paul?’ Alicia demanded.
Paul didn’t answer immediately, then he said, ‘Hold on a sec, I need to go somewhere more private.’
Alicia waited for what seemed like an eternity.
‘Sorry,’ he said, finally coming back on. ‘I was in the foyer. There’s still work going on in the building, workmen all over the place. I didn’t want everyone overhearing our personal conversation.’
Alicia continued to wait silently. If he thought she was going to be drawn into actual conversation, he was wrong.
‘I think we need to come to some arrangement, Alicia,’ he said, obviously getting the message and getting to the point.
Her heart thudding, Alicia closed her eyes. ‘What arrangement?’ she asked him, attempting some level of calmness until she’d heard him out.
‘A mutually agreeable one. I’m assuming you don’t want Justin to know?’
Nausea churning her stomach, Alicia didn’t answer.
‘Look, Ali, I really don’t want to cause any upset, especially to Sophie,’ he went on – sounding concerned, Alicia noted with disbelief. ‘I’m sure there’s a satisfactory way forward that will suit us both.’
‘Which would be?’ Alicia asked, drawing in a tight breath and holding it.
‘Like I say, I think it would be better if we discussed it face-to-face. How about I book a table at our favourite hotel? I could be there in, say, an hour? We could have something to eat and—’