Ryan turned off the headlights but left the radio playing, then jumped out. I followed. He grabbed the blanket from behind the seat and a mickey of Southern Comfort. I laughed, excited to be with him, giddy from the beer and pot.
We shut the door. Ryan leaned through the open window and said, “We won’t be long.”
“Okay.” Nicole nodded but she still looked scared.
I felt a twinge of guilt. “If you’re that freaked out—”
“No, I’ll be fine. Have fun.” She gave me a smile.
I grabbed Ryan’s hand. “Let’s go.”
We headed into the woods, Ryan leading. I turned back for a moment and saw my sister locking the doors and rolling up the windows.
I shook my head. What a chickenshit.
*
Ryan and I found a spot farther down a couple of trails and behind one of the rock bluffs. He spread out the blanket in a patch of moonlight and built a fire. I lay on my back, my hands behind my head, looking up at the stars, wishing my life always felt this free, just Ryan and me and no one else’s bullshit.
Ryan rolled another joint. He took a drag, blew it into my mouth. We laughed, then necked for a while, until my body felt loose and easy, my legs wrapping around him, feeling the zipper of his jeans scraping against me. He peeled off my shirt, unhooked my bra, my skin goose bumps in the cool air. We made out, took sips of the Southern Comfort until my lips were on fire, tasting the sweetness in his mouth, my head spinning, delightfully stoned. We stripped naked, had sex. I licked his neck, tasting the salt, his boy smell, clean hair, work-sweaty skin. Over the sound of his moans in my ear, I thought I heard a noise in the distance and paused, wondering if it was Nicole, then shook off the thought when I didn’t hear anything else. We were too far away.
Afterward we cuddled, using our clothes as blankets, finishing the last of the booze and a roach that Ryan handed me. Sleepy from the sex and the drugs and the warm fire, I closed my eyes, hearing Ryan already snoring beside me.
*
I woke suddenly, scared at the sudden blackness, my body freezing cold. The fire had died down but the moon gave off enough light for me to see one of Ryan’s arms up over his face, some scratches on his wrist. I tried to peer at my watch in the dark. Found Ryan’s lighter, flicked it on. One in the morning.
“Shit. Ryan, wake up.”
He opened his eyes and looked around, disoriented.
I was already standing, struggling to pull on my clothes. “Get up. My mom’s going to kill me.” I’d left a hastily scrawled note at home saying we’d gone to the lake and we’d be home by midnight, Nicole’s curfew.
We ran back through the trail, the branches slapping and scraping at our skin, searching for the main path. I fell, cutting my knee and my hand. Ryan helped me up. We finally stumbled into the clearing. The music was off. The truck quiet. I couldn’t see Nicole. Was she lying down?
Ryan opened the truck door, turned back to me, his face confused. “She’s not here.”
“Are you serious?” We didn’t have time for this crap.
He shone his lighter. The truck was empty.
I called out, “Nicole, hey, where are you?”
Silence.
Ryan raised his voice. “Nicole, we’re sorry, come on out.”
We heard a crack in the bush. Held our breath. Ryan turned the lighter off, letting our eyes adjust to the dark. We stared at that spot, the shadows. Was she playing a game now? Turning the tables? I felt myself starting to get mad.
“Maybe she’s looking for us,” Ryan said. “I’ll turn on the truck. If she hears the engine she might come back.”
“Okay.” I stood outside, looking into the dark trees while he flashed the engine. It started up with a roar. We waited a couple of moments. No sign of her. My anger had all turned to fear that something had happened to my sister. Had she gone hunting for us in the dark and gotten lost? We had to find her.
“Where could she have gone?” I said. “Should we just drive around? Look for her?”
“I don’t know.” He also looked worried. “She might have gone to hang out with those people partying at the end of the lake. Hop in and we’ll check down there.”
If she was with those other kids, I was going to kick her ass for freaking me out like this. I came around the front of the truck, blinded for a moment as Ryan turned on the headlights. Then he let out a yell.
I spun around, my heart jamming up into my chest at his fear. He’d jumped out of the truck, was running toward the lake. Then I saw what he’d seen.
My sister’s body, floating at the shore, lit up by the truck’s headlights.
We both rushed into the water. I was yelling, “Nicole, Nicole!” I could hear Ryan breathing hard.
She was naked, her skin freezing. We pulled her to shore and crouched over her. I lifted her hair back, to see the side of her face, and realized that part of her skull was smashed in, her hair coming loose in my hands. I looked down at the dark blood covering my hand, the clump of hair, then back at my sister’s face, barely recognizable. I screamed, a high-pitched wail that echoed over the lake.