“You lied to hurt her?”
He nodded. “I did. I loved her so much that my disappointment killed me when she didn’t turn out to be the woman I thought she was. She doesn’t deserve to know and will never know the extent of my love.”
I stayed mute, too afraid to lose the rest of his confession.
“She…” he swallowed, “when we found out about Ella’s disability, Tara’s behavior ruined our relationship. It’s really that simple. She wouldn’t accept the fact that Ella wasn’t a candidate for getting cochlear implants. Her attitude just completely ruined her for me. She acted as if we had a defective baby and refused to learn how to sign until every last specialist had told her there was no chance. I couldn’t understand Tara then, I felt like I had married someone else. It ruined us and because I felt so strongly about it, I let it ruin us. I couldn’t forgive her, and I never looked at her the same way again.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I stayed married, but it was pointless. After a few years, we were two zombies and our marriage the apocalypse. But I stayed with her for Ella’s sake, until I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“For a majority of your marriage?”
“Well over a decade,” he said before taking a long pull of his beer, his eyes on Ella.
“No wonder you don’t want to risk going through that again. I hate that I’m saying this, but as your friend, I totally understand why you don’t want to get involved.”
“And what about the woman I’m sleeping with?” he asked, eyeing me intently. “What would she say?
“I don’t think she can fault you either.”
He leaned in as if to kiss me and then glanced Ella’s way.
“I can’t blame you for being selfish about your freedom, Ian. I really do understand. But I hope you know if it came down to a custody battle, Ella would choose you. She would. I have no doubts.”
He nodded. “I pray she does.”
“You fight, you fucking fight her so hard. I’m having a terrible time believing a judge would ever grant her full custody based on a lie she kept up for fifteen years! Did she tell you purposefully to hurt you?”
“No, it was a coincidence I found out. She could have pulled that at any time, but she didn’t. I think she knew it would destroy me. But now that I’ve found out and she’s with Daniel, I think she wants to use paternity as an excuse to bring that fucker closer to Ella. Not only that, it seems like she wants me to be okay with it.”
“What the fuck is wrong with her?!”
“I know it’s screwed up. Let’s…” he shook his head sighing, “let’s let this go for now.”
“Why?”
His grin at me seemed out of place. “Because you’re yelling.”
“I’m pissed for you!”
“I can tell.”
“She’s a horrible person!”
He nodded. “Seems to be the case.”
“If she was here, I don’t think I could hold myself back from beating the dog shit out of her!”
He gave me a beautiful grin. “So, this is the angry New Yorker? Cute.”
“What a bitch!”
“Come on, Koti,” he said, brushing some hair away from my face. “Let’s drop it.”
“Okay… okay, fine. But for the record, I hate your ex-wife.”
“That makes two of us.”
I pressed my lips together as the hairs rose on the back of my neck. It took me three beers to calm down.
“Easy killer,” Ian said as I finished my beer, taking healthy gulps. “You know sun-drunk is not fun.”
“I’m aware.” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as he chuckled.
“Such a lady. Still mad?”
“Yes.” Reaching out I ran my palm down his jaw. “But I’m glad you told me.”
“Me too.”
I frowned as I looked at my chipped blue toes. “I owe you an apology. On the beach that day. When I threw that sand ball at your head. I told you we didn’t need you reproducing your kind of crazy. I’m sorry for that.”
“Koti, I’ve been such an asshole, I deserved much worse from you.” He reached out and gripped the back of my head, pulling me forward and kissed me on the temple and then chanced a kiss on my lips.
“Thank you,” he said softly. “For listening, for being upset for me, and for understanding.”
I sighed as Ian popped the top on two fresh beers and handed one to me. “What a mess we are, crocky.” I clinked my bottleneck to his.
“Rather be in the thick of the mess with you, puffer fish.”
He brushed his knuckles along my thigh and I leaned into his touch.
“Ian?”
“Mmm?” We both got lost in the contact as my breathing picked up and his eyes pooled with desire watching my reaction to him.
I licked my lips. “Try my door tonight.”
Sometime after midnight, I heard the click of my bedroom door followed by the lock. My body tensed as the covers were slowly pulled away from my waiting skin. I was on fire with need and already moaning before his lips brushed my ankle. I spread at his urging while the low rumble of his commands filled the room. He sank between my thighs, his eager tongue lapping up my arousal as I gripped the sheets next to me. We’d spent the majority of our dinner eye-fucking each other until it became too much, and I was forced to step away from the table. When Ella offered to take Disco for a walk, Ian had cornered me at the kitchen sink, biting into my shoulder and brushing his cock along my back with promising words.
“Fuck,” Ian said pushing into me, I was dripping as he drove his way in, forcing us both to stifle our moans as I scratched at his back. “Easy,” he whispered as he drove in again, his control lost a second later when I spoke.
“Fuck me.” Gripping him closer, I crossed my legs around his back spreading wider.
“You’re perfect,” he grunted out before pulling me to ride his lap.
Moonlight shone just enough through the window to allow me to see his eager lips close around my nipple. A light shadow crossed over his face, his eyes closed as he sucked hard. The sight of it had me riding him harder before he gripped my wrists to slow me down.
“We’ve got all night. We are taking all night.”
Helpless without the ability to cling to him, he forced me to gain the friction I needed by pumping my hips. That led to a whole new kind of ecstasy for us both. Our breaths came out fast, bodies covered in sweat and lust, we worked ourselves into a frenzy until he let go of my wrists and we collided, hard. Time didn’t exist, though we stole those moments and breathed for only the other. Our bodies molded in the most beautiful way as he took away my fears and I absorbed his hurts.
“You’re still dangerous,” he whispered before we collapsed in a heap, our mouths refusing to separate until the moon disappeared and the stars faded into the morning sky.
Ella’s glee-filled shriek warmed my heart as she pulled out her gift. “Thank you, Koti!”
“You’re welcome. I got a set too so we can snorkel together, and I got one for you too.” Koti tossed the bag my way.
“Thank you,” I said, pulling the mask from the package.
“Welcome,” Koti said, an intimate smile passed between us for a split second before she addressed Ella. “Your fins are on the porch.” Ella raced to the screen door, letting it smack closed. I yanked Koti to me and kissed her soundly on the mouth, sucking on her lower lip before I kissed her just long enough to thank her properly.
“Every day you’re getting worse. You’re going to blow our cover.”
The truth was, I couldn’t help myself. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t resist her. That need was a far cry from the only one I had the day I’d landed on that island. Then I only wanted isolation, now it was hard to imagine being there without her.