I walk to where he’s standing and stop right in front of him. Anticipation is building inside me and making my breaths come quickly and my heart to feel like it’s about to beat out of my mouth. He lifts my chin with his index finger, looks me in the eyes and says, “you look beautiful, all fresh, and squeaky clean”
He breathes in the scent on my skin and then kisses me so, so gently on the lips. I close my eyes and stand on tip toes so that I can increase the pressure, my head swims. I don't know how long I stand there with my eyes closed and mouth open after he has pulled away but I'm brought back by Gabe’s voice, “come inside” he orders “it’s too cold out here”
He leads me back inside by the hand and I sit on a stool at the kitchen bench as he gets himself a beer and pours me a wine. Marlborough Sav Blanc no less, my favourite, how does he know?
He sits on the stool next to me and pulls it closer, so close I can feel his breath on my body. My skin automatically tingles and I get goose bumps, my nipples harden and I can feel my heart pounding in my ears, I slowly let out a breath as I sip my wine .
“That shower was fantastic” Is all I can think of saying.
“Glad you enjoyed it”
We sit in silence for a bit, I have a million thoughts running through my head until he leans in and kisses me; just a little inoffensive kiss on my forehead, my mind goes blank. He slides off his stool and opens my legs so he can stand in between them. I run my fingers through his hair and sigh, “What’s wrong?” he asks
“Nothing just a bit achy, the shower was great, I think it’s just where I am beginning to relax and release some of the tension that’s been weighing on my shoulders these past days, weeks, months even, you don’t notice it’s there till it starts to go”
“Didn't that little kiss help take your mind off things?” He pouts and gives me his best puppy dog eyes, which makes my stomach do a little back flip, which is a strange reaction as puppy dogs don’t generally have this effect on me. I need to stop this rambling conversation I’m having with myself, in my head and answer him.
“Indeed it did but there are other parts of me you could kiss that would take my mind off them more. My forehead isn't really one of my erogenous zones” WTF, what am I saying? Who mentioned anything about erogenous zones?
“Oh I am sorry. I didn't realise you wanted me to kiss you on your erogenous zones, my mistake”
He licks his lips, still looking at me, and then kisses me gently on the mouth. My hands are still in his hair and I pull at it slightly. He kisses me harder and whispers.
“Dya fancy getting stoned?”
NOT what I was expecting! Hmm, is this a test, is he trying to work out how old and frumpy I am, I wonder?
“It’s fine if you don’t, if it’s not your thing. I just thought it might help you relax, your mind and your muscles and help you sleep better” He says into my ear, in-between kisses on my mouth .I really cannot think straight all the time he continues with this
“Sounds like a plan” I shrug like it’s something I do every day. I’m feeling a bit chilly so I go off to the bedroom to get my hoodie. When I return, he's on the huge leather sofa, just about to light up. I sit next to him and curl my legs underneath me.
After only a couple of puffs I feel myself relax and some of the tension leave my body. We smoke the joint between us. Then we sit, for a while in a comfortable silence. Then Gabriel asks
“When was the last time you did this?”
“Last Christmas actually, we’ve always been open and honest with the boys about drugs, Ryder was still living at home then, he had friends over and one of them asked if we minded if they sparked up. Rather they did it at home, than somewhere they could get arrested so we said yeah fine. They were happy to share and I hadn't had a smoke in about two years before then so I went for it” I reply
“Just you or did your husband kick back as well?"
“No just me, Jay hates smoking, in any form. I've made cakes for him in the past but not in years. We've tried different things, we were big clubbers for a while in the nineties so we dabbled in this and that but we already had the boys and not a lot of disposable income so it was just an occasional thing. Before that, just the usual weed and whizz at school and college” I pause for a second and study his face as he listens to me and he does, listen I mean and it suddenly dawns on me how lonely I’ve been within my marriage, for such a very long time, I swallow these thoughts down and carry on. “Remember, I was a mother at twenty one and so have always had to have an ‘all things in moderation’ type attitude. Perhaps if Jay smoked more weed he would be more chilled and we wouldn't be in this mess”