“Shit, Tegan,” I groaned, pulling out slowly and pushing back in at the same agonisingly, perfect slow pace. I felt her tighten and ripple around me.
“What’re you doing?” she panted. She was close and I’d slowed down but it felt too good. I wanted to savour the feel of her, the warmth.
“Kai!”
“I know.” I was balancing on the edge too. I could feel it building right down to my fucking toes.
She pushed back harder, trying to force me to go harder. I let go of her hip with one of my hands and captured her clit between two fingers, squeezing gently. She bucked beneath me, fingers gripping the leather seat.
“Fuck, Kai. Fuck!”
“You’re so sweary when I’m inside you,” I said, hissing as she pushed back sharply. Jesus, that felt incredible. Shit.
I felt Tegan fall over the edge, clamping hard around me and crying out my name. I followed straight away, exploding inside her, moaning deeply. This was exactly where I wanted to be, I was sure of that after knowing her just three and a half weeks. It was either going to end really good for me or really bad, I wasn’t sure how long I could do in between for.
Chapter Six
Tegan
Taking one last look in the mirror, I frowned. What the hell have I become? I looked older, more like twenty-one rather than seventeen. My dress was too short and revealing – not old me at all – but I wasn’t really me anymore, so what did it matter anyway.
I turned away, not wanting to see myself. After going for a ride with Kai, he’d dropped me off home to get ready for his party.
Mum looked horrified as I walked into the living room. She didn’t recognise me either – good. “Tegan, what on earth are you wearing?”
“A dress,” I replied.
“It’s very short. I don’t think it’s appropriate.”
I shrugged. “So?”
“Honey, if you go out with so much on show and drink the amount you have been, anything could happen.”
I didn’t care about that. I already felt cheap and dirty most of the time now, so some guy copping a feel meant nothing. And I didn’t care if something worse happened. How could I? How could I be scared to die when I felt so guilty for living?
“Don’t you think you should stay in tonight,” she said. A suggestion, not a demand. It was so infuriating. I wanted her to ground me and mean it. I wanted her to shout and get angry. I wanted her to fix this whole situation. I knew that was selfish, she’d lost her husband, but I needed her to fix me.
I couldn’t do it on my own. I didn’t even know how to.
“The dress is fine. See you later.” I waved my hand over my shoulder as I walked out of the room, ending the conversation there. As I thought, she didn’t try to stop me. Since the funeral she’d half given up being the parent. I could do whatever I wanted and she wouldn’t do a thing about it. Well, she might occasionally shout but nothing came of it.
Slamming the front door in frustration, I walked to Adam’s car, parked at the side of the road.
Show time.
“Hey,” I said, plastering on my perfected fake smile.
His eyes flicked down to my outfit and almost bulged out of his head. He wasn’t used to seeing me in short dresses either.
“Hey. Everything okay?” he asked.
I nodded and unscrewed the top off the vodka hidden in my handbag. Taking a swig, I winced as the alcohol burned my throat. I didn’t like the taste but it did the job.
“Fine,” I said.
Adam sighed and shook his head but said nothing. That was about as bad as it got. He and Sophie never mentioned what happened, and I was so thankful for that. They knew I didn’t want to talk about it. They were pretty much the only friends I saw from school now, the rest of them kept up shoving sympathy at me. I didn’t want sympathy, I wanted my dad, but that couldn’t happen, so fuck it all.
We stopped at Sophie’s and Adam beeped the horn. Soph walked out seconds later. Her short, dark brown bob whipped across her face as she skipped towards us. Her pale eyes shone with excitement for the night ahead. I envied her that.
“Good evening, ladies,” she said, grinning at Adam.
Choosing to say nothing, he rolled his eyes and pulled out of her drive.
Sophie was an awesome friend. I could always count on her and she knew exactly how to handle every situation, which was why she never mentioned the accident. We’d known each other since the start of high school, six years ago. Adam on the other hand, had only been friends with us for two years when he moved out of London. But I was still equally close to them both.