I walked over and pulled her into my arms, giving her a friendly hug, just as I’d done with Holly. Her petite body pressed against mine and I wanted to groan. I didn’t get to touch her nearly as much as I wanted to or where I really wanted to.
Lucas looked less than pleased that I’d given her a hug. It lasted a second and he was the one that got to take her to bed – he could sit the fuck down!
He had no idea how bloody lucky he was. Although I knew she liked him – and she thought she loved him – he wasn’t good for her. He didn’t understand how lost and angry she was right now. Hell, Tegan barely understood it. I’d wanted to ask her out, properly, about two seconds after meeting her but I knew straight away how broken she was. I could see it in her empty green eyes, feel it in the way she forced a smile on her face.
I’d been there and I knew distractions were the only way you coped and no one could fix you but yourself. If I’d steamed in there like him and tried to make everything better I’d have doomed us from the start.
She clearly wasn’t ready to deal with it yet and Lucas trying to ‘help’ her do it was only going to screw him over in the long run. He had her now but I’d rather have her forever.
Ava and Jake had sat down either side of Lucas on the bench. I wasn’t sure if they were picking sides but if they were they’d just made a big mistake – the only place for Tegan was now next to me.
“I’m starting sixth form on the Monday after the break,” she said.
“Yeah? That’s great.”
Step one: do normal shit you used to.
“Thanks.”
I leant closer and whispered in her ear, “So do you have to wear a uniform?”
“You pervert!” she yelled in a whisper.
I laughed. “I’m joking.” Not really. “What’re you studying then?”
“English Lit, Sociology and Music,” she replied, lowering her voice when she said music.
“You want to do something in music? Gonna join a rock band?”
She looked up and the stress evaporated from around her eyes. “I think so, not the rock band thing. I used to want to spend my whole life playing the piano but I’m not sure now.”
“You suck now?”
I could feel Tegan’s followers glaring at the side of my head but I didn’t give them the satisfaction of looking up.
“Yep, I’m awful. Forgot all the keys and everything.”
“Hey, you could always be a backup dancer.”
“And if that fails there’s always stripping, right?”
I shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a wonderful art.”
“Tegan plays the piano beautifully,” Ava said. “I don’t see any sort of dancing in her future.”
“Bit judgy, Ava,” Tegan said, thankfully before I could say something similar but a lot less diplomatically. My aunt used to be a dancer before she broke her leg badly, now she taught it. I did not like people talking or thinking shit of my family.
“Oh, I’m not saying it’s beneath you, Tegan, so calm down. You just don’t need a back-up plan.”
She’d already moved to plan B. She did that the second her dad died. It was up to her if she wanted to scrap that and go for what she really wanted again.
Tegan gave her sister a tight smile and turned her attention back to me. “I’m not sure what I’ll do yet but I have plenty of time to figure it out.”
“Yeah, you’re not that old yet.” She wasn’t that old at all and that was still a little bit of an issue for me. I wished she was eighteen, even though she was perfectly legal when we were shagging like bunnies. I’d just feel better about it if she had been officially an adult.
After an hour it was clear that she was serious about cutting down on the alcohol, instead of downing her drinks she had one or two alcoholic ones and water or coke between.
We’d stayed in the same place on the bench, talking most of the time. I didn’t care that Lucas barely took his eyes off her or that Ava gave me the occasional dirty look. I wasn’t exactly sure what they thought could happen if they didn’t watch us like a hawk, at the same table as them, but it was fairly amusing.
I grabbed her phone off and scrolled to the settings. “What are you doing?” she asked, leaning over and trying to see.
“Setting a ring tone for me.” Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Bruno Mars,” I said, smiling. I might’ve well written Just the Way You Are myself. I was more a rock guy, I needed drums, bass and guitar and for the band to have sat down to write the material and music themselves, but I didn’t mind Bruno Mars. No matter how messed up and confused she was, no matter what mistakes she made, to me, she was perfect. I saw past it all.
She smirked. “Shouldn’t that be your ring tone for me?”
“Nope, I already have one for you.”
“Do I want to know?” she asked cautiously.
“Probably not.” I laughed. “It’s Kings of Leon, Sex On Fire.” Her mouth hung open. With a wink, I got up to get a round in.
Before I got inside I saw Tegan move to sit on Lucas’s lap. Turning away quickly, I swallowed acid and tried to ignore the aching in my chest. Fuck, that hurt.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Tegan