We did need each other, though. There was something about her that chose me. Not chose in any conscious or deep and meaningful way, but out of the guys she’d had casual one-night stands with she stopped with me. I knew it meant more than just her enjoying me making her come like a train.
I didn’t expect it to be easy and I knew I’d have to watch her struggle, but whatever we had or could have was worth hanging around to find out.
Chapter Nine
Tegan
We pulled up outside their house thirty minutes later and I froze. It all looked perfectly normal, a new-looking yellow brick house with a perfectly manicured garden. It might as well have a white picket fence surrounding it instead of the short green hedge.
I so don’t want to be here.
The front door opened before we even got out of the car, they must’ve been watching out for us. At least they were as eager to see us as Mum and Ava were to see them. Taking a deep breath, I shoved every emotion threatening to surface back down as far as it would go and got out of the car.
Emily, greeted us with a warm smile. “Hi. Welcome,” she said, hugging Mum and then Ava. I stood back and dropped my gaze to the floor.
Please, don’t.
Emily seemed to respect that I wasn’t in a hugging mood and invited us in. “Carl’s in the living room at the minute. He wanted to get up to greet you but…”
“Oh,” Mum said, waving her hand. “Don’t worry about that. We understand. How is he today?”
I stopped listening and looked around. I was glad the guy was okay, I wouldn’t wish death upon anyone, but it was hard to hear how well my father’s heart was doing inside someone else.
The ivory walls were lined with wooden picture frames, full of their family history. I recognised one of Lucas, his brother, Jake, and Grace as children. They had the same big cheeky smile and were buried in the sand down to their waist.
“Hi.” Startled, I spun around. Lucas smiled and leant against the wall. We were alone in the hallway, but I could hear my mum’s voice in the next room. “How’re you doing?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Fine. You?”
“I’m doing good.” He had every reason to be doing well; his dad was still here. “You coming through?” he asked, nodding his head towards what I assumed was the living room. The room where Carl was.
Lock it all away.
“Yes,” I replied and followed him through to a large lounge.
Carl was lying back slightly on the reclining chair, covered by a red checked blanket. I hadn’t ever seen him before. He smiled as he spoke to Mum and Ava but he looked pale and tired. Grace and Jake sat on the sofa next to him like they were guarding him.
He looked up and his eyes locked on me. I felt the air leave my lungs as if someone had just jumped on my chest. It took me a minute to regain control but I did. I smiled, I think.
“Hello, Tegan,” Carl said.
“Hi,” I mumbled under my breath and looked to Mum for help. It was too much. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart, and I felt seconds from bursting into tears. I don’t want to cry!
“Come help me with drinks,” Lucas said, nodding to the door again, seeming to know I was about to lose it. I smiled gratefully and followed him out of the room. A heavy weight lifted from my shoulders as I walked into the kitchen.
“I know this is a little weird and awkward but I’m glad you guys came,” he said, filling the kettle. “Hot or cold drink?”
“Cold, please.”
“Coke?” he asked, holding a can out.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it from his outstretched hand. It was more than a little weird and awkward. It was messed up, and I wanted nothing to do with it.
***
Emily was doing her best to make us all feel welcome, fussing around, showing us the rooms where we’d be staying and asking if we wanted anything. Grace took Ava up to her room to drop her stuff off and Emily told Lucas to show me up to the room I was staying in.
I’d be happier sleeping in the car but I thanked Emily and followed Lucas to the third floor.
The room was nice, painted in light fawn with a few paintings hanging on the walls. It had a double bed, chest of draws and a vanity table. You couldn’t really fit anything else in there but it was big enough for one.
“Thanks for showing me up here and for carrying my bag, you didn’t have to do that,” I said.
He grinned. Lucas was gorgeous – tall, muscular, light brown hair and light blue eyes. It annoyed me. I didn’t want to find him attractive.
“No problem,” he said, taking a step closer to me. “Hey, are you really okay?”
“I’m fine.”
His eyebrows pulled together, like he thought I was lying. I was. Chewing on my lip, I broke our eye contact and stared at the floor.
“Right. I’ll be in my room if you need me, it’s the one next to this,” he said while handing me my hoodie. I reached for it and our fingers brushed. It was only for a second but I felt something flutter deep inside me. No. Screw that, I didn’t want to feel.