Jake shouted back, “Have fun.”
Getting out of the house couldn’t come quick enough, I practically ran to his car. He said nothing but gave me a look that told me he knew I wasn’t comfortable being around his dad. I wasn’t really comfortable being around any of them.
Lucas started the car and pulled out of the drive.
It took just over an hour to get to the zoo. If I knew that before I wouldn’t have suggested going, I assumed there was one close by. Not that I consciously suggested going in the first place.
Besides a little small talk we stayed mostly silent. I half wanted to ask about Carl and the surgery but I wasn’t sure I could do it without breaking down. Lucas, although acted carefree, clearly wasn’t. He worried about his dad. I didn’t know a lot about heart transplant recipients but I knew enough to understand that the operation wasn’t the end of it and he would need treatment for the rest of his life. It must be difficult for them all, but at least they still had him around.
“Could you have parked any further away?” I teased, raising my eyebrow at him. We were right at the end of the car park.
He looked out of the side window and pointed to a space in the corner. “Yep, there’s a free space over there.”
“So funny,” I muttered under my breath and got out of the car. The sun shone down and the place was fairly packed but I was hopeful that the day wasn’t going to be boring and awkward.
We walked side by side towards the entrance, Lucas making some not so inconspicuous smiley looks at me. That was not a good sign. We couldn’t happen so it was best if he just thought I was a massive bitch like Ava did.
“Good morning, two adults?” the barely past puberty guy behind the counter asked.
“Please,” Lucas responded as he pulled his wallet out of his jeans pocket.
“That’ll be thirty-five ninety please.”
Jesus. Not only did neither of us really want to be here but it was costing almost forty pounds just to get in. It was my fault for suggesting it. “Lucas, I’ll pay.” He shook his head and handed over his card. “Come on, I want to.”
He shot me a sideways smile. “So do I.”
“Fine.” God, he was frustrating. Just let me hate you! I softened. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He grabbed a map and handed it to me.
Once he’d paid for our tickets we headed into the park. “Where to fist?” he asked.
I shrugged. I really couldn’t have cared less but since I’d made us both come and he’d just paid I had to try to enjoy it.
“Elephants.”
He nodded once and repeated, “Elephants.”
In a large enclosure were the elephants. Bonus: baby elephant. I started to enjoy the zoo for real and Lucas was smiling more. As much as I didn’t like to admit I needed something – unless it was peace and freedom to forget – I did need to do something normal, something fun that didn’t involve stumbling or puking at the end of it.
But as much fun as I was having I was left with the heavy drag of guilt. Why should I get to have fun when my dad was lying in a box? I managed to stem the guilt enough to enjoy the day for Lucas and myself but it was hard. Whatever I did I felt horrible.
We slowly made our way around the zoo and I felt like I could breathe a little easier. Although Lucas wasn’t the best at playing it cool, he hadn’t even tried to touch me, respecting my boundaries.
Suddenly, he stopped walking and said, “Let’s go in there.”
I looked to where he was pointing and read the sign above the door. “Bat cave. No way, not happening,” I replied, feeling creeped out already.
“Are you scared?” he asked, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“No, I’m not scared.”
“Well, that’s good, we can go in then,” he said with a cocky smirk that I just wanted to punch off his face.
Gritting my teeth, I seethed behind a tight smile. “Sure.”
I followed him into the building and turned my nose up at the musty scent. It smelt dirty and it was dark. I wanted to leave already. A tall, skinny man stood before our small group, ready to give us the tour.
I wrapped my arms around myself, praying bats wouldn’t fly at me. If that happened I was fucking out of here. Fighting the urge to cling to Lucas, I followed Tall and Skinny behind the group of six others. Lucas walked closely behind me, too closely, actually. Even though he didn’t touch me I could feel him. The loss of sight made me hyperaware of his presence.
Dimly lit lights marked the path. The six other people – all middle aged – looked up with curiosity. Lucas half looked. He glanced up between looking at me.
He bent down and whispered in my ear, “You scared yet?”
I couldn’t answer. A shiver ran down my entire spine.
Keep calm and get it together. You do not like him.
“Tegan, you okay?”