Save Me



I met Lucas in the café halfway between our houses. We’d been meeting every week since we made peace last month and it was really nice. It hadn’t always been easy but we wanted to stay friends so we both put the effort in.

The first time we’d decided to meet he’d offered to pick me up and go somewhere local to me. I didn’t mind when we were together but we were trying to redefine boundaries so it didn’t seem right him going right out of his way to see me.

It was still early days but last week was the first time that there was no awkwardness at all so hopefully that part was done. There was now less than two months until Christmas and everyone was starting to get in the sprit of the season. Kai’s birthday was the twenty-ninth of October – two days away. We were having a small party at his that I’d planned and I wanted to invite Lucas, too, since and Kai were talking.

“Hey,” I said, sitting down at the tinsel-decorated table he’d chosen. There was a latte waiting for me, too. “Thanks.”

“How’ve you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He ignored his phone as it buzzed once in his pocket. “Sixth form still going well?”

“Ugh, it’s going.”

He laughed. “No university plans then?”

“No,” I replied. “I think I’m pretty much over the learning thing now.”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“Kai thinks I should open a music shop,” I said, rolling my eyes and taking a sip of my latte.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“That was Dad’s dream. I don’t want to do it without him.”

“Do you honestly think you’d be doing it alone? That he wouldn’t be right there with you?”

“I don’t know.” It was something to consider. I certainly had enough money to start up a business, Dad made sure of that with his three life insurance policies. I knew the amount now. My eighteenth birthday was only a few months away and on that day I’d be two hundred and fifty thousand pounds richer.

His phone buzzed again and I saw him squirm in his seat. “You don’t need to make a decision yet. How’s Kai?”

Kai and Luke were fine now; all they had to do was give each other a chance. It was less awkward them talking at first than me and Luke!

I narrowed my eyes and put the oversized mug down. “Alright, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play stupid with me. You’re acting weird and ignoring your phone. Spill, Lucas.”

He opened his mouth and closed it again.

“Oh, okay,” I said, realising what was going on. “Tell me about her.”

Frowning, he replied, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“I thought we agreed to be friends.”

“We did.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Really, Tegan? You were my first serious girlfriend, we’ve only just got to a stage where things are comfortable between us and you want me to talk about this?”

“Yeah, I do. We talked about this, about what we really were. I loved you, Luke, but you know, because you said it first, that it wasn’t real.” I loved him, that much I was sure of, but it was as a friend and someone that was so important to me. “I’m not just any ex, so please don’t treat me like one.”

The corner of his mouth kicked up. “I do love you, shorty.”

“Good, now tell me about her.” I held my finger up as he opened his mouth. “No, let me guess… Annie?”

“Alright, Sherlock. Yeah, it’s Annie. We’re not together.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I know I’ve only met her once but I liked her.”

“We’ve been hanging out more.”

“You like her.”

Avoiding my eyes, he replied, “I do. We’ve been out before, as you know, but this time seems different.”

“You’re both older and one of you isn’t fucked up.”

He laughed and I felt the tension melt away. “You weren’t that bad.”

“You’re too nice.”

“So, you’re not seeing anyone?”

“No. I’ve gone off men.”

He smirked. “Really?”

I could tell what he was thinking: Kai. Honestly, the guy turned me on so much I wanted to keep him locked in the bedroom but I couldn’t even think about being in a relationship.

“Maybe not forever, but right now I’m working on myself and rebuilding a relationship with Mum and Ava. I hurt them for a long time and the old me wouldn’t have done that. I think I’ve got about another five hundred cupcakes, lots of apologising and doing housework before I’ll consider forgiving myself for how I behaved.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“Why haven’t you made me any cake?”

I grinned and picked my latte up again. “I don’t feel that bad about you.”

“Oh, thanks,” he said sarcastically. “I’m proud of you, Tegan.”

“Thank you. Hey, I know you and Kai have been getting on a lot more, his birthday is coming up and I wanted to know if you’d like to come? It’s at his and you can bring Annie if you want?”

“When is it?”