We clink glasses again and both laugh as we wipe tears away from our eyes.
An hour later we walk into the bar where we are meeting the others, Sam and Stella are already there sitting at a large table in the corner. We grab another bottle of wine and join them. Sam gives me a hug and asks if I'm ok but Stella is a little off with me.
“We okay are we Stell?” I ask, like Jo has just told me, I'm too old for all this bullshit.
“He's in bits Lauren. I know you love him, I just don't understand why you can't work this out, he knows he did wrong, he's so sorry.”
She shrugs as she continues, “I just really hoped he had finally found somebody to love, to have a real relationship with, especially now, after finding out about all the shit that went on with Jackie, I just want him to have someone that loves him like he deserves.”
“He has, I'm going to call him tomorrow and ask to see him, we need to talk a few things through but I miss and love him too much to stay away.”
She looks up at the ceiling and lets out a long breath, “Thank you Lauren, thank you, sorry for putting it on you like this, but my hearts breaking for him right now, he wants you back so badly.”
“Right enough. Let’s not talk about Gabe and Lauren for the rest of the night please. I'm over it. Lauren has come for a girl’s night out. Not to have her love life discussed and dissected.”
Jo looks at me for approval as she speaks. So I nod in agreement. Shit. Fuck the wine, I need vodka. Now!
Jemma and Lu arrive shortly after and our group is complete. And as usual. Noisy. Everyone chats happily and the drinks flow, I smile and talk animatedly but the whole while I have this empty pit in the bottom of my stomach. I want to just go to him now, every time I see a flash of dirty blond hair my heart lurches and skips a bit. The way it used to in school, when you’re about fourteen and catch a glimpse of the boy you secretly fancy, I smile to myself at the memory. Ahhh first love, there's nothing quite like it. Funnily enough he cheated on me too, bastard, but I push that thought to the back of my head. Sort of.
I've already switched from wine to vodka when the rest of the girls decide to do the same and head for the bar. Sam, Jo and I head outside for a cigarette.
“What is this place? An old church?” Sam asks.
“Yeah, I always worry that I will be sent to hell for drinking in here”
“Jo…You are well on your way to hell, regardless of whether you drink, smoke or whatever in here.”
“Thanks Lauren, thanks a lot.”
We laugh as we recall some of Jo's sins. Most involving young men, whips and handcuffs. Sometimes more than one young man at the same time, oh and blindfolds have often been involved too she tells us. We laugh loudly as we turn to head back inside, when I hear someone say:
“Hi Lauren, how's it going?”
I turn and see Dean Moore. A boy that was good friends with Sonny right through school.
“Hi Dean, how are you?” I motion to the girls to go in and state that I will be in soon. Dean was always a nice boy and I don't want to be rude.
“So how is everyone, are your Mum and Dad good? I heard your sister got married.”
“Yeah, everyone's good, my sister is having a baby in January.” He smiles as he tells me his news.
Before I get a chance to reply, someone shouts from behind him, “Hey Deano... Who's the MILF?”
I look over his shoulder to see Jarrod. Another of Sonny’s school mates. Leering over at me. Jarrod obviously hasn't changed much. Spoilt rich kid. Son of a local estate agent, who had had everything handed to him on a plate growing up. And yet always seemed to be in trouble for something, fighting usually. I glare at him but he doesn't look away, instead he sticks out his tongue and wiggles it suggestively. So I flip him my middle finger and shake my head.
“My boys would fucking kill him if they see that. Little prick, he hasn't changed has he?”
“Sorry about that Lauren. He is a prick, he's not even out with us, we bumped into him in another bar and he just tagged along. He's too pissed to recognise who you are, otherwise he wouldn't dare. Sonny and Ryder can't stand him and he knows it and is shit scared of them”
“Well don't let him get you into any trouble. You know what he's like Dean. I'm gonna go back inside. You be good, say hello to your Mum and Dad for me.”
I give him a peck on the cheek and turn and head inside to the sound of Jarrod shouting, “Get in there. Give her one for me Deano.”
I really want to go back out and slap the little shit, but tonight is gonna be a night of no drama. As I head back to our table I can see we have been joined by four older blokes. None of whom I know. Jo, Stella and Jem are all lapping up the attention, while Lulu sits back and watches, I slide in beside Lu and we start chatting about this and that. Both deliberately avoiding the subject of Gabe. Sam returns from the bar with another drink for her and me.