“Who are this lot?” She asks.
“No idea, I think they just escaped from the local nursing home. You wanna stay here or go somewhere else?” I ask.
Stella, obviously already feeling the effects of the alcohol, must have heard me.
“I wanna dance; please can we go somewhere we can dance?”
One of the blokes she is talking to says something in her ear and she smiles, nods and in turn says something to Jo, who rolls her eyes, shakes her head and looks at me.
“If that bloke has asked her back to his, she is not going Lauren, the boys will kill me, and he must be at least fifty” Sam looks at me as she speaks. Deadly serious.
“Bloody hell, fifty, that old? Well I'm not her keeper Sam, she's thirty one, how can we stop her?”
“I'll phone Zac and tell him to come get us if she plays up. I knew this would happen. I don't care what she does any other night but tonight she's with me and I won't lie to her brothers if I have to go home without her”
“Okay, okay” Fucking hell.
I thought I was done with babysitting.
Jo moves around to where we sit saying, “These blokes have invited us all back to one of theirs for a party, he told Stella she can dance there.”
“Nup... Not gonna happen Jo, she's going nowhere with this four. If you wanna go, that's up to you but she stays with us.”
Jo looks at me and shakes her head, “I'm not going. I'm on a girl’s night out. Besides, they're too bloody old for me.”
We laugh and turn back towards Stella. Jemma has gone off to the ladies so now Stella has the attention of all four of the men.
Emboldened by the wine and vodka I have consumed I shout: “Oi! One Direction’s Granddads! Jog, she's going nowhere with any of you.”
Stella gives me an absolute evil. So I give one back, but she becomes distracted when one of the blokes asks for her number and they do the exchange.
“I don't believe that,” Sam says.
“If I had said that, we would still be arguing about it come Sunday, must be that funny accent of yours Lauren.”
Stella walks over to where we are sitting as the group of blokes leave, “One Directions Granddads. Really Lauren? They weren't that old. And anyway, I'm thirty one; I can do what I like.”
“Yeah you can Stell, but I will be calling Zac and Coop and letting them know you’re doing it. Just so you know.”
She knocks back her drink and flits off to the ladies just as Jemma comes back, looking as though she’s already swaying. God what is it with everyone tonight, all pissed after only a few drinks.
“We gonna go dance somewhere? Girl in the toilets just said there's a good band on next door.”
I look at Jemma, confused. “Jem, how'd you get pissed so quick? Come and sit down love before you fall down.”
She giggles as she slides in beside me, “I had a couple of vodkas with Max before I came out. Fuck, I didn't realise I was so pissed. Come on, let’s go dance.”
“Okay, let me nip to the loo and find Stella, then we'll go.”
“We'll meet you outside Loz. Think she needs some air.”
I nod at Jo as her and Sam help Jemma to her feet. As I head for the ladies I see Stella up ahead. With Jarrod standing far too close to her.
“Hey Stell, we're going next door for a dance, the girls are waiting outside, come on.”
“Hey Lauren, this is my friend, Jarrod. He was just…”
“Stell... Go and wait outside with the rest, I'll meet you out there when I've been to the loo.”
I don't want to stand and talk to Jarrod. I need a wee badly. Then I need to get Stella away from the dickhead and out of here. Not that next door will be much better, it will be an older crowd, who will just love the look of sweet little Stella. I contemplate all of this as I hover over the toilet seat and have a much needed wee. And decide that I will stop drinking tonight. Seeing as everyone else is determined to get shit faced. Just for a change, I will be the designated sober person; I'm not really enjoying my drink anyway. I feel quite sick in fact, I think its nerves. Thinking about what tomorrow will bring my belly does back flips, all teenage girl with a crush stylie. I'm gonna rip his clothes off and fuck him senseless for the rest of the weekend. I actually shudder and squeeze my legs together as I think this. I smile at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands, touch up my lippy, smooth down my hair and leave the loos, trying to touch as little as possible on my way out. Yuk. I hate pub toilets. When I get outside everyone is waiting, including Jarrod.
“Say goodbye to your little friend Stell... We're off.”
“Noooo Lauren, Jarrod's coming with us.”
Like fuck he is. I look across to Sam and shake my head. Hoping for some support.
“Come on Stell. Get his number and see him another time, this is a girls night remember?”
“Ohhhh but I…”
I really can't be arsed with this. Drunk people are annoying when you’re sober. Ha, who knew?