As I walk into the house my mobile and the land line are both ringing, I grab my mobile first, its Gabe. “Morning Ba…”
“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been calling you for over half an hour? Fuck Lauren. I told you to keep your phone on you.”
“Yeah and good morning to you too… Have you quite finished?”
“No. Where were you? I was calling the land line from the hotel phone and your mobile from mine, you didn’t pick up either.”
“I went for a walk on the beach. I have no pockets in my leggings or vest.”
“Well tuck it in your fucking bra. Don’t leave the house again without your phone, are we clear?”
“Who the fuck are you talking to? I am not a child; do not speak to me like I am a fucking idiot.”
“Well don’t fucking act like one!”
I hang up. Who does he think he is, talking to me like that, this paranoia is getting ridiculous, he seriously needs help! My phone starts to ring again. Well if he wants to treat me like a child I will fucking well act like one. Prick!
I flip the phone to silent, put on some music and get into the shower; an hour later I am pulling up on the driveway of ‘Bella Cliché’, just as the carpet fitter’s truck arrives. I leave them to unload as I take a walk through. The place looks amazing, a complete transformation, I cannot wait to get the pieces in place that I have chosen; the whole house is surprisingly clean. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gabe told the cleaners to do an extra special clean, not just your average builders clean. Shit. Gabe, my phones still on silent. Actually I went a step further and switched it to airplane mode when his calls kept interrupting my music. I pull it out of my bag and change the settings, seventy eight missed calls. Not just from him but from his whole family, and all of my friends, and text messages from all of them too. This is ridiculous, it starts to ring again as I’m scrolling through my messages, most of which are telling me to ‘Ring Gabe’.
“If you start ranting at me, I will just hang up. What do you want?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m up at the Palmers, I told you I had some work to do up here today.”
“Please don’t ignore my calls.”
“Then don’t behave like a prick.”
“I asked you to keep your phone on you at all times.”
“I called to tell you I was going for a walk on the beach but you didn’t answer. Where were YOU?” I ask smugly, if he can miss my calls then why can’t I miss his? I cannot believe his complete over reaction to a missed call.
“I went for a run.”
“So why didn’t you take your phone? You told me you would have it on you at all times.”
“I had nowhere to put it.”
“Tuck it in your bra.”
“I don’t wear a bra Lauren.” I can hear the smile in his voice but I’m not backing down on this.
“Well then perhaps you should fucking start. Don’t call me up, giving me shit, when it was YOU missing my call that caused all this.”
“You could have. Fuck Lauren. I was worried.”
“Yeah, I get that but that’s no excuse for being so rude and shouting down the phone at me like a raving lunatic, you didn’t pick up the phone to me, I didn’t notify NASA, ASIS, MI5 or any other fucker. Nor did I scream abuse at you down the phone when you did call me. You haven’t said good morning, you haven’t even said sorry.”
He’s silent for a moment too long, he’s actually not sorry. “Are you going to keep your phone with you the rest of the time I’m away Lauren?”
“Am I? Fuck! But I might drink, smoke, party down Main Street all night and drive with my eyes closed all the way to Woy Woy. Don’t call me again; I will see you Friday night.”