I should write this shit down, like I’d done when I was a teen, and burn it so there was no evidence of it. It was the only way I could think of to get it out of my head.
I could feel the anger building in the pit of my stomach. I hated myself for what I’d done, and I was disgusted that I’d enjoyed it at the time. I knew I was just a kid, but I still knew right from wrong. I used the situation to my advantage, even when Sophia was in danger. I’d changed, and it changed my entire life.
I needed to figure out a way to bottle it all up and move past it, but I didn’t know how to do it. The only time I ever felt at peace was when I was with Emma.
I lifted my head and rested it back against the wall as I pictured her from earlier that night. A smile tugged at my lips. She wanted to deny the way she felt about me, just as much as I did, but she couldn’t. I had no idea what I’d do about it, but time would tell.
The shrill ring of my cell sounded and I rose from the floor to retrieve it. I headed to my room where I’d left it, lifting my arms over my head in order to stretch the muscles I’d worked so hard.
I grabbed the phone off my bed and looked down at the number displayed. Dread flowed through me as I stood there, listening to it ring. He’d told me the night of the fundraiser to answer the phone when he called, but he could go fuck himself.
Eight
Emmalynn
I’d arrived home in a daze after I’d met with Mason, my plans of reading thrown out the window. Mel didn’t waste a moment asking me what had happened as soon as I walked in the door, and I’d taken the time to tell her everything.
A part of me was confused. It was like I was under a spell when I was with him. I wanted to stand my ground, but it was useless. I’d given him what he’d wanted, and I had no idea what was to come.
I’d told him I didn’t want a relationship, so where did that leave us?
Melanie thought he just wanted to be fuck buddies, but I knew that couldn’t be it. He had his pick of women. I’d seen the way they watched him, hoping they’d be chosen for the night. And each time, he’d been looking at only me. I didn’t know how to feel about that. It wasn’t that I thought I was lacking, but I knew I wasn’t the type of woman he went after. Maybe that’s what he’d wanted, and who’s to say he wouldn’t get tired of that and go back to his old ways. Not that I wanted what was going on to be serious, because it wouldn’t be, but I knew my heart would be involved whether I wanted it to or not.
I’d slept in on Tuesday and was almost late for my morning classes. I’d tossed and turned the night before thinking about Mason, so it seemed like my alarm had gone off just as I’d fallen asleep.
The day dragged and some of the teachers I had droned on, making me want to take a nap, but by some miracle, I’d managed to stay awake through all my classes.
When I arrived home later that afternoon, I dropped my bag and face-planted into the couch. I was just starting to drift off to sleep when my cell started ringing.
I groaned into the cushion and lifted my head to the annoying sound. It wasn’t very often that it actually rang, so I couldn’t be too annoyed. I was just so tired.
I rifled through my bag I’d dropped by the couch and smiled at the name.
“Hello.”
“Hello, daughter. It’s been forever. Why haven’t you called me?”
I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy that it always seems to slip my mind. How are you and Dad?”
I hadn’t talked to her in a couple of weeks, and I still hadn’t told her that Tim and I were no longer living together. It wasn’t something I really wanted to discuss, considering she wasn’t on my side when I decided to move in with him in the first place, but I knew she’d bring him up eventually.
“Things are good here. We’ve been getting some bad storms and the humidity sucks, but you know how it is with hurricane season. How are your classes going, Ms. Law Student?”
“They’re good. Hard, but good.”
“I’m sure you’re doing great. How’s Melanie? I rarely ever get to talk to her, either. Pretty soon, I’ll only be talking to you twice a year, too,” she said with sadness to her tone.
“She’s good. Busy, as usual.”
“She dating anyone yet?”
I laughed because she always asked me the same question. “No, but I have it under good authority that she is interested in someone. So, that should make you smile.”
“How do you know?”
“She told me. And I saw him with my own eyes.”
She squealed. I’d swear she was a fourteen-year-old. “Was he cute?”
I sighed. “Mother, seriously. Why do you always ask?”
“I want some grandbabies,” she said with a laugh. “No, that’s not it, I promise. I just want to see the two of you happy. It’s been a long time since Mel’s had a significant other, and I want her to be loved. That’s all.” My mother was such a compassionate woman. “How are things with you and Tim?”
And here we go. I let out a sigh.