I dragged her to the exit, her all too eager to follow behind me. This was the fifth time I’d grabbed a girl, and it still amazed me how easy it was.
When I came out on a mission, I was a different man. I didn’t think of everything that was going on at home. I didn’t think about her, stuck in that room all alone. I had to change myself or I’d never be able to go through with any of it. But with doing so, it tore away a piece of my humanity, a piece of my conscience. That part deep down that wasn’t supposed to get any enjoyment from the acts I was going to commit.
That piece? That piece was long gone, and there I was pulling this girl to her worst nightmare. But first, I’d get my enjoyment out of it. It was all part of the game.
The first time wasn’t this easy; I was nervous and had no idea what I was doing. I was sent out on my own with no instructions on what I should do, other than to keep a low profile and where I was to take the girl.
This time around, I was a pro. I knew exactly what to look for and how to get it. I was young and attractive, everything the girls looked for. While I was scoping them out, I kept to the shadows, giving small smiles as they looked my way.
It was easy, really. Most girls didn’t realize how vulnerable they were in environments like these. They became a potential victim as soon as they decided to go to the club.
We walked out into the brisk night air, and she giggled as she mistook a step and tripped in her heels. I stopped walking in order for her to gain her balance once again and she grabbed on to my shoulder, bringing her body flush with mine.
“Are we getting a cab?” she asked.
I turned to her with a smirk and slowly shook my head. My heart was pounding in my chest, but my blood flow was already making its way down to my dick.
“No. I drove, but we’re not going to the car. First, I’m fucking you.”
She smiled and squealed as I pulled her to the back of the building, looking around as I walked to make sure no one was watching.
This was the point in the night a thrill always shot through my system. It was my time. I was the boss. I was in control.
Deep down, underneath all the excitement, lust, and control, lay my feelings of guilt and self-loathing. I knew I shouldn’t like what I was about to do, but it was as if someone else had taken over my body.
I’d said they were potential victims as soon as they’d decided to go to the club, but I was a predator always. It lived in me, just waiting to be set free. I hated yet loved it, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no going back for me. I’d made the decision to change, so I embraced it.
The smell of garbage, urine, and vomit filled my nose as we walked around to the back. The only light being cast down on us was the small security lamp attached to the building. If someone staggered to the back, there was no way they’d be able to make out our faces.
Pushing her against the brick, she moaned as I pressed my body against hers.
“You’ve been flirting with me all night,” she stated as she ran her hands against my chest before grabbing one of my hands and pushing it in between her legs. “I’m so horny,” she groaned as I rubbed my fingers along her damp panties.
I wasted no time as I pulled my hand away from her pussy and turned her around to press her against the wall, her ass out in invitation.
She stood there with her hands on the wall, heaving, waiting for my next move. I didn’t make her wait long.
I undid my pants and sheathed a condom before lifting her short, tight skirt up around her waist. I tried to tear the panties away, causing her to shriek, but they wouldn’t budge and I was too wound-up to fuck with it.
“Spread your legs,” I commanded in a husky tone, pulling her panties down to mid-thigh.
She did as told and I wasted no time. I sunk deep inside her and got lost in the feeling. Every single time I did this, my mind escaped me. It was like a high I could never duplicate. Visions of a faceless woman danced around in my head as I fucked her. In my mind, that’s who I was fucking. Not this nameless girl who was about to face the consequences of her actions.
In that moment, I was the monster. I was the replica of John and Donicko. In those moments, my soul became darker. I knew there was no going back after what I’d done, but I had my reasons, and I’d gladly destroy my life to save hers.
*
Present
I heaved as I sat on the ground in my gym, trying to catch my breath after the beating I’d put my body through. The temptation to go into my bathroom was overwhelming, but I stayed where I was.
I chuckled at myself as I ran a hand through my hair. I was stupid to think I could make this all go away. The memories were still there, so vivid, like they’d just happened yesterday. Memories I’d kept to myself for so long, they were eating away at me.