I needed her.
A light breeze blew around me, and I stopped and looked up at the sky. It was hard to see the stars in the city, but in Central Park, it was an amazing view. The stars were faint in the sky, but they were still there.
“It’s beautiful out here.”
Her voice took me by surprise and I snapped my head down to meet her smiling face, offering her a smile of my own.
“You came,” I stated, turning to her with my hands in my pockets.
“Yes. I came.” She clasped her hands in front of her and diverted her gaze to look up at the sky. “I’ve always loved coming out here. It makes me miss home.”
I looked at her as she stared up at the sky. It amazed me how at ease she appeared to be when she was around me. She was shy, but always seemed to get past it and open up. It made me wonder, if she knew exactly what type of man I was, would she still feel at ease around me? She knew about my scars, but that was only half of it.
“Do you plan on going back home for your break?”
She turned to me and shook her head. “I’ll be here with Melanie. I plan on visiting in the summer, though.”
We were quiet as we looked each other over. I was still shocked to see her standing in front of me. Deep down, I didn’t expect her to show up and for the first time in my life, I was nervous. I had no idea what I was doing.
“So,” she said as she averted her eyes and started to walk, but then abruptly stopped. “Why did you ask me to meet you here?”
I smirked at her forwardness.
“I needed to see you.” It was an instant reply, one I didn’t have to think about.
“You needed to see me?” Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest and glanced down at her feet. She was quiet for a moment before she finally looked back up at me. “I don’t understand what’s going on between us, Mason. You’re hot one minute then cold the next. You either want me to bend to your every command or you want me to go away.”
She shook her head again, and I could see the frustration on her face. “I don’t want to play games. I don’t have time for games and you don’t seem like the kind of man who plays them, but yet, here you are. So tell me. Why did you want me to meet you?”
This was something I’d never had to deal with, a woman asking questions. I usually moved on to the next. I didn’t have to explain myself. I did what I did because I wanted to. It was the way I lived my life. The way I’ve done it for years and for the first time, I didn’t know what the fuck to say. Do I tell her that just seeing her face calms me? Do I tell her just being near her makes me feel like a different man? Do I tell her she makes me want to change? No, I could never tell her that.
I didn’t know how to open myself up to someone else. I didn’t know how to let my mask fall.
I turned and started walking around the fountain again, trying to figure out what to say to make her understand. The only thing I could tell her was the truth, or rather, part of it.
I looked to the side to see her walking beside me, and a small smile lifted onto my lips.
“You are right. I’m not the type of man who plays games,” I stated as I kept my gaze straight ahead. “I take what I want then move on to the next.” We continued to walk slowly around the fountain and she kept quiet, waiting for me to continue. “But with you, it’s different. With you, I want more.” I stopped and turned to her to see her brows furrowed. “This is unexplored territory for me, and I’m not exactly sure what to say.” I chuckled at my nonsense, of how stupid I really must sound. I shook my head. “I’m not even making any sense.”
“Yes,” she blurted. “You are. But that still doesn’t explain to me what exactly you’re after. What is it you want from me? I just got out of a three-year relationship, and I’m not exactly ready to jump into another one. Plus, you’re my professor. Things can’t end well.”
I stepped closer to her until we were mere inches apart and lifted my hand to her face. She looked up at me, and her eyes glowed from the street lamps that surrounded us. She is so beautiful.
“I just want you.” I didn’t want to live my shell of a life anymore and I didn’t know how to break past my demons, but I knew the way she made me feel. She was hope when my life was filled with nothing but despair. “I know you feel this connection, too. We can just explore what this is. I told you before that I wasn’t going to give up.”