“Dragon, we need to…”
I press my lips against hers, stopping the sentence before she can finish it. My tongue slides into her open mouth. I taste her and groan at the burst of flavor. It’s been way too long since I’ve had this. I forcefully explore the depths of her mouth, owning it. She holds stiff against me for the space of a minute and then slowly melts in my arms. Her arms go around me to hold me close. God, I’ve missed that. Her nails dig into my back and I groan at the pleasure. Six weeks until I can have her. Fuck, I’ll never survive.
“Mama, I have missed your taste,” I say when we finally break apart. She keeps her head down, resting her forehead on my chest. We stand like that for a minute, I’m hoping to hear something from her. One small sign of encouragement. I get nothing but silence.
“Talk to me, Mama. Please, talk to me.”
“That shouldn’t have happened.”
“It definitely should have. It will happen—a fuck of a lot more.”
She looks up at me then, and I wish she hadn’t. The tears are there, hiding in the depths of those blue eyes.
“It can’t happen again.”
“Whose mark do you have on you, Nicole?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she whispers and it pisses me off.
“Whose mark, Mama?”
“Yours.”
“Do you love me?”
“Dragon…”
“Do. You. Love. Me. Woman.”
“I always will.”
“Then this isn’t over,” I tell her and she better fucking get that through her head. We will never be over.
“I can’t survive loving you again, Dragon.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“When I thought you died, my world went dark again. Only it was worse than it had ever been in my past, because now I know what it’s like to have love, to feel a part of someone. When you left, you took it all away and left me alone. I can’t survive that again.”
“I’m right here, Mama. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you did, Dragon. You tore up my world so easily and you didn’t even stop to think what this plan you made would do. How it would affect me and our child. You made the decision, unilaterally, and you left me alone.”
“Mama…”
“You want us to go back, to be what we were. We can’t do that, Dragon. I can’t be that person with you again.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because I don’t trust you!” I cry. “I don’t trust me with you. What if a year down the road something else happens and you, once again, make a decision for the good of the club, to protect everyone, and it leaves me and our child hanging in the wind? How do I know you aren’t going to hurt me again? How do I know your decision won’t destroy me? Or worse, destroy our child.”
“Damn it, Nicole, you make it sound like I wasn’t even thinking of you. Part of the fucking reason I did all of this was to protect you and our child. Doing this allowed me to kill that son of a bitch.”
“Doing this caused our son to be in a neonatal unit fighting for his life. Did you take into consideration, Dragon, what kind of stress you were putting me under? How you were ripping apart your family, for the good of your club?”
“Damn it, Nicole, I told you the decisions I made were for you, our child and the club.”
“And I told you I don’t trust that.”
“So where does that leave us?”
“Over,” she whispers, pulling away from me.
I grab her arm and pull her back to me.
“Don’t you say that Nicole, don’t you fucking dare say that to me.”
“Dragon…”
“You’re hurt. I get that, woman. I made the decision and I should have thought it through more, but it’s done. I can’t go back. I did what I had to do so you and our son didn’t end up like Frog. I did what I had to do to protect what is mine, and that means you and Chase.”
“His name is Chasin.”
“How the hell would I know? You named him without even talking to me, damn it!”
“Gee Dragon, you died without consulting me!”
“Then be a pissy-ass-bitch, but don’t cut me out of your lives! Don’t pull us apart, when we don’t have to be. You thought you lost me and I was there! I know it sucked. God Mama, don’t you think it was as bad for me, not being able to be with you?”
“That right there! You see!”
“What the hell are you talking about now?”
“It wasn’t as bad for you, Dragon! It was nowhere near as bad! Do you know why? Because your fucking ass knew I was alive. You knew you would see me again! You knew where I was! You have no idea the hell I went through. You never once put yourself in my shoes.”
I pull away and rake my hand over my head.
Fuck this.
“So you’d rather tear us apart than to even try? What kind of weak-ass shit is that, Nicole? That’s not the woman I fell in love with.”
She just stands there looking at me. She says nothing. Nothing.
I sigh. I’m so tired. I’m tired as hell. I grab the flowers and throw them in the garbage, because apparently that’s what I am to her at this point.