“He doesn’t think his brother should be running things. Doesn’t think Trigger should be running shit either. Madden hinted he thinks I should take over and he’ll be VP. Says he’s too young to be in charge and his brother is too fucking stupid. He’s not wrong.”
Even knowing the answer, I ask, “Why didn’t Pax and I get the invite?”
“Too close to me maybe. Or you go too rogue for their tastes. Trigger trusts his high school buddies and sheep. You and Pax are loyal, but let’s be honest that you’ll kill us all to protect each other”
“You’re not wrong.”
Joker sighs as Pax joins us. “Things are changing and I’m on the out. We’ll see how that turns out for everyone.”
Giving Pax a nod, Joker walks off to the table where Darby, Amanda, and his kids are eating. I look at my brother and we share a dark frown.
“What’s the plan?” Pax asks.
I look at Shay and think about how much she trusts me. We could easily pick up her brothers and keep on going. With Pax, we’d start over somewhere else. No skin off our asses if Little Memphis burns.
Wagging my finger at Shay, I watch her step carefully through the grass in her pink heels. Behind her, Bebe and Lula cuddle in the cold afternoon. I see Jenn chasing Joey around the yard while Lucky teases Paige about her new haircut. These people might not survive a burning Little Memphis.
“Swing away. That’s what we do,” I tell Pax and he nods.
Shay melts against me, smiling like I’m magic. No denying that I feel the same about her.
“I love you,” she says.
Pax rolls his eyes and makes a stupid comment before tormenting Sharpie again. I watch him go then enjoy my woman. Shay offers me a chance to have more than I ever dreamed. All I need to do is whatever necessary to protect what’s mine. My brother, my woman, my friends, my VP, and my town need me to stop playing the outsider.
“This is real. As long as you and I are real, none of the other shit matters.”
Once Shay kisses me, I’m ready to ditch all the fantasies. Reality has never looked so fucking beautiful.
Epilogue
Shay
Donnie and Devin take one look at Ford and nearly piss themselves. He’s big and intimidating in a way men aren’t in their lives. Mom looks at Ford like he’s a monster. He clearly isn’t her type. For one thing, he’s unmarried and doesn’t play games. We only stay one day in Hawthorne before heading back to Little Memphis. Ford doesn’t like my hometown much.
My brothers warm up to Ford on the two-day drive home. He doesn’t bug them or force chit chat. Ford does buy them Happy Meals at McDonalds and pay for the PS4 option in the hotel rooms. While the boys think he’s cool, Ford is relieved they don’t hassle him. I watch them and pray everyone can be happy living under one roof.
By the time we move into the house down the street, Donnie and Devin love Ford. I don’t know if they view him as a dad or big brother, but their eyes light up when he comes home.
They’re crazy about Pax too which doesn’t surprise me. He’s like one of them, goofing off all the time. I watch my brothers come out of their shells. Devin especially grows more confident.
Mom goes along with the lie about returning the boys to Hawthorne. First, she plans for the summer then for the next school year. Yet one day, she dumps the game.
“I don’t think the boys should move back here. I’m not a good mom. Never have been and they’re happy with you.”
I suspect she wants me to tell her that she’s a great mom, but I’m unprepared for her honesty and blurt out, “okay” instead. She signs papers to make me their legal guardian before building herself a new life. I don’t expect much, but she gets a job and dumps Donnie Senior. Technically, she dumps him a few times before the decision sticks. Mom even goes to cosmetology school and learns to cut hair. As the years pass, she visits a few times and I learn to view her as a real person rather than the woman who disappointed me growing up. The day she hugs me and says I raised her boys into good men, I nearly cry myself into dehydration.
Of course, I can’t take all the credit. Ford gives the boys lessons I never would. The first spring they live with us in Little Memphis, the boys join a little league team. After hearing stories about Ford and Pax playing as kids, my brothers want to be good too. Unfortunately, they suck. Really, really suck. Devin can’t hit a ball any better than me. Donnie has no aim to his throws. They’re just awful. After their first game, the boys are nearly in tears. I struggle not to cry too since I feel their shame at having Ford and Pax watch them fail.
“You suck at baseball,” Ford says when we get to the car. “Big fucking deal. No one’s life is ruined by sucking at a child’s game played for fun. Just roll with it, okay?”