“I can pay you.”
“Don’t,” I say softly. “I’m not judging you or feeling sorry for you. I told you how I got here. How Lucky helped me out then Darby did by letting me stay with her. A lot of people have helped me out lately. Now, I want to help you.”
Bebe nods, but she’s unsure. I think she’s worried about leaving Lula with someone she doesn’t know well. I try to reassure her by telling her stories about my brothers. How I took care of them and kept them safe when they were small.
Bebe puts the diaper bag and car seat into Darby’s car. Even scared to go with me, Lula doesn’t cry. When I think about how she’s used to feeling fear, my heart breaks.
After I drop off Bebe at the hotel and drive home, Lula lets me carry her into the house. She’s trembling in my arms, waiting for something bad to happen. I’m panicked about taking care of her suddenly. We’re a couple of scared chicks when Darby appears from her office.
“Who’s this?” she asks.
Never did it occur to me that Darby might be pissed about a strange kid in her house.
“Bebe needed a babysitter while she works, so I offered to watch Lula. I should have called you first. Sorry.”
“Lula?” Darby says, stepping closer. “Tell me that’s not her legal name.”
“It’s Tallulah.”
“Better. Does she want to watch TV?”
“I don’t know. She’s scared.”
“Because you’re holding her wrong.”
“Excuse me?” I balk. “I know how to hold a kid.”
“No, you need to cuddle her.” Darby takes Lula from me and sits in a chair. “You need to hold her closer, so she knows she can’t escape. Once she submits, you’ll own her heart.”
“That sound like a bad romance.”
Caressing a freaked out Lula’s hair, Darby laughs. “I know kids. I’m everyone’s favorite aunt.”
Opening my mouth to respond, I pause when my phone vibrates and I find a text from Ford.
“I’ll need to cancel my dinner plans,” I say out loud. “He’ll be cool with that. He’s totally flexible that way.”
Darby laughs loudly and Lula smiles at the sound. I can’t believe it, but they’re bonding. Maybe that snuggle them into submission thing works.
“Go out with Ford and I’ll watch Lula. She and I are becoming fast friends.”
“Bebe says Lula takes a nap soon.”
“What a coincidence. So do I,” Darby says and Lula smiles again. “We’ll nap then play outside then watch TV. Eat too. I know lots of yummy food to make for a little girl.”
When she catches me staring at them, Darby shrugs. “I like kids. Joker and I planned to have a bunch. He’s a good daddy too.”
Between the earlier talk with Bebe and hearing Darby speak so lovingly about a man she was no longer with, I feel sad. When I see how much Darby and Bebe try to find happiness, I know I’m a fool to think my fantasy with Ford can ever become a reality.
After Darby and Lula leave to take a nap, I message Bebe. I try to find the best way to explain how I’m ditching her kid to go hang with my hot boyfriend who will dump me soon. Mostly, I play up how it’ll be such a short time between when I leave and Bebe gets done at work. I even mention how Darby will pick her up.
Despite my happy text, Bebe’s reply sounds unhappy. I feel like an asshole for offering to watch her kid then bailing to be with a guy. Makes me think this kind of crap is why I had no friends back home.
Every time I check on Darby and Lula in the master bedroom, I feel a little less guilty. Darby is a helluva lot better with kids than I am. No way would she ditch Donnie and Devin like I did.
My mood sucks by the time Ford arrives hours later. Waiting on the porch, I watch Darby chase Lula around the yard. They’re laughing and having a ball. Ford grins at them then struts to where I’m pouting.
“Are they bullying you?” he asks, nuzzling my hair with his lips. “Is that why you look like someone shit in your cereal?”
“I’m depressed.”
“My cock feels the same way about spending the day away from you.”
Laughing at Ford’s sweet talking efforts, I wrap my arms around him. “Tell me I’m not an asshole.”
“You’re a doll. A princess. Whatever is the opposite of an asshole.”
Resting my head against his chest, I whisper, “Don’t get weird, but I missed you a lot today.”
Ford’s powerful arms wrap me and my sadness washes away. I don’t feel like such a failure to have left my brothers and moved to Little Memphis. The fantasy returns and I believe Ford is mine. Fuck tomorrow. Right this second, he’s mine.
“I missed me too,” he says, being a jerk because wanting the fantasy scares him too.
I stare into his eyes and smile. “Can I stay at your place tonight? I want to feel special and I always do with you.”
“Stop saying shit like that.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble.