“How did he get locked up?” I ask, dipping an onion ring in my zesty sauce.
“Howie ran different rackets,” Bebe says, looking at Lula. “When I moved here, he was really sweet to me. Bought me stuff. Made sure I was always safe and taken care of. I thought he cared about me, but he was F U C K I N G grooming me. He wanted me to work for him like my mom did before she died. Like my sister did before she disappeared. I was a D A M N project, not a person. Then I messed up his plans by getting pregnant. His first plan anyway.”
Bebe runs her fingers through Lula’s thick brown hair then looks at me.
“They call Howie the Wolfman and his brother Clarence is Claws. It was Claws who wanted me to give her up for adoption. I thought about it when I realized what kind of man Howie was. I wanted a real adoption though. The legal kind where I got to meet the family and would get updates about my baby. That way, she would know who I was and wouldn’t have questions. F U C K I N G Claws wanted to sell her to some people in Little Rock. I refused and he acted all cool about it and S H I T. That’s the thing about Howie and Claws. They seem nice and relaxed, but they’re cold inside.”
Nearby, kids scream when their moms want to leave. Bebe frowns at the noise while Lula turns around in her seat to watch the show.
“That C O C K S U C K E R Claws tried to grab her more than once,” Bebe continues. “I saw this chick following me a bunch of times at the end of my pregnancy. She was trying to get me alone. Once she rear-ended me on the road, but I kept driving. I knew that move from when I was growing up. There was a R A P I S T who pulled that B U L L S H I T to get girls to pull over then he’d do his thing.”
Lula smiles at the screaming kids then sits back in her seat.
“Pony,” she says to me.
“She’s pretty.”
Lula leans her head against Bebe’s arm and eats a fry. She’s oblivious to the ugliness of what her mother is telling me.
“Another B I T C H started following me after that. Once Lula was born, it was the same F U C K I N G thing. The second one tried talking to me in a parking lot and I knew she was going to grab my baby. I showed her my knife and asked if she was willing to die. She backed off, but I was scared and left Little Memphis for a while. Stayed with my S H I T T Y uncle, but he hated having a baby around. Finally, I came back and told Howie if he hurt me or the baby that my uncle was going to F U C K I N G kill him. I lied and said my uncle was in the Klan and they would come to Little Memphis and kill him and Claws. Kill everyone because my uncle was B A T S H I T crazy.”
Lula mumbles the word crazy while playing with her doll’s hair. Seeing how easily the kid picks up on the naughty words, Bebe’s spelling doesn’t seem so weird.
“After that, Claws realized it wasn’t worth the trouble. They were making money in other ways. Girls weren’t making them as much money as animal fights. That’s what finally got Howie in trouble. People in Little Memphis don’t care about selling drugs or girls, but they love their dogs. Someone snitched on the brothers then others snitched. Soon, the cops picked them up and a jury gave them five years. They’ll be out in a year or two.”
I don’t know what to say or do after hearing Bebe’s story. Hawthorne was a rough place, but I never felt most of it. Bebe who smiles at my silence.
“Are you rethinking lunch?”
“No. I’m thinking I like you more now. Is that weird?”
“Yeah, but weird is good. Who the H E L L wants to be normal?”
Smiling, we finish our meals before taking Lula to the play area. She plays with her doll and avoids the rowdier kids. Despite the violent world she was born into, Lula’s smart and sweet. A moment passes where I lose my fucking mind and imagine having a baby with Ford one day. Fortunately, I slap the thought down fast.
“Are you still seeing the club enforcer?”
“Yes.”
“That’s good. Things are getting F U C K I N G tense in town. Someone important got killed the other day and everyone is waiting for a war or payback. My housemates are on edge and their S H I T H E A D boss is hanging around. That’s why I didn’t want to leave Lula with them. I’m planning to take her to work this afternoon. No way can I leave her with D U M B F U C K Paro hanging around, smoking pot, and having the girls take turns S U C K I N G him.”
Seeing Bebe’s hands in fists, I don’t blame her for being angry. She’s working hard to live a decent life, cleaning toilets for minimum wage. Now an asshole is in her house and around her kid. My anger at her situation inspires an impulsive thought.
“I’ll watch her if you want.”
Bebe frowns. “You don’t have to. That’s not why I told you all that. I wasn’t looking for pity or help. I just wanted you to understand me.”
“I know. When I was growing up, my mom didn’t raise me alone. If people hadn’t helped her, I don’t know what would have happened to me. Everyone needs a break, so why not you and Lula?”