Milo nods. “I thought it was bloody brilliant. You and your mother were strong in all the right ways.”
Both Ava and I decided we didn’t want to talk before the judge. There was too much that we would want to say and not be able to, or we’d say things that later we might regret. Sometimes, silence is louder than a scream.
Adam McClellan took enough from me. I wasn’t going to give him my words. He was condemned by a jury of his peers, and the judge provided the justice we needed.
“I think your dad would be proud as well.”
“Do you think he feels bad?” she asks. “Like, he’ll sit in his cell and wonder how he could be such a horrible human?”
“No. I don’t think people like that feel remorse and empathy. You noticed even until the end, he didn’t think he did anything wrong. When you’re guilty, you have to stand up and own your mistakes. It’s how we should conduct ourselves in life,” I tell her. “Be sorry when you do wrong. Change starts with you, my darling daughter. You’ve made errors but look how you’ve responded.”
Ava looks at her plate, and I lift her chin to look back at me. “I was so angry after Dad died.”
“I know.”
Milo clears his throat. “My father was killed and anger was the only emotion I knew.”
Her lips part as she sucks in a gulp. “How old were you?”
“Your age,” he tells her.
“I’m so sorry.” Ava’s lip trembles.
His phone rings, he looks at the screen, and silences it. “Sorry.” Milo takes my hand, pulling it to his lap and returns his attention to Ava. “It’s not a club I wish you joined, but I want you to know that no matter what, I’ll always be a shoulder you can cry on.”
Ava tilts her head with a smile. “You know, I wasn’t sure about you, but you’re a cool dude.”
“So, we’re done with you trying to make inappropriate comments?” Milo jokes.
“Probably not. I’m turning over a new leaf, but the tree is the same.”
“Yeah, nice try,” I laugh. “You’re done. You’ve had your fun, now it’s time to stop or I’ll ground you again.”
She huffs. “You’re so lame, Mom. What’s the fun in having a hot boyfriend if I can’t make you uncomfortable?”
“Shut up and eat.”
We spend the rest of our lunch laughing and telling stories about our lives before all of this. Ava asks a ton of questions about life in London. I swear she thinks it’s still 1810 and they’re in an Austen novel.
“We have cars!” Milo chuckles.
“And they run on gas or do you crank them?”
He rolls his eyes. “I assure you we are far more civilized than you’re giving us credit for. I’m pretty sure we had most modern technology before you.”
I sit as though I’m watching a volleyball match. They just toss them back and forth and I’m pretty sure one is going to spike the ball soon.
“And do you use candles or is there electricity?”
Milo looks at me and narrows his eyes. “Are you fucking with me?”
Point one for Ava.
She shrugs. “Maybe or maybe not.”
“We live very much like you do in America. We have cars, electricity, fancy stores, and history. Do you really think the Queen doesn’t have electricity?”
Ava bursts out laughing. “Oh, you should see your face!” She does her best British accent. “Do you bloody believe this girl? Her knickers are in a twist because of electricity.”
“If we ever get married, does she come with the deal?” Milo asks.
I nearly choke on my water. “Depends how much I like her at the time.”
“She is rather annoying.”
“This is true.” I purse my lips and tap my fingers on the table.
“Mom!”
“Ava.”
She leans back with her arms crossed. “You’re so mean.”
“Maybe, but you’re a turd on a good day.”
Milo’s phone pings and he pushes it back in his pocket. The look on his face gives me concern.
“Everything all right?”
He shakes his head and gives me a fake smile. “My brother.”
“Is it about your mother?”
He spoke with her nurse this morning and said everything was fine. She’s very ill, though. I can imagine information could change rather quickly.
“No, it’s about another matter.”
“Okay?” I say as more of a question.
“Oh,” Ava says with her chin on her hands. “Is this like a big secret?”
That feeling in my gut is stronger. Something is going on. He’s been acting strange since he got back from London.
Milo chuckles. “There’s no secret. Why don’t we head back and watch a film?”
I don’t say anything because I’m not going to put him on the spot here and now. However, Milo and I are going to talk, that much I know. But what happens if I find out that what he’s hiding is something worse that I could have imagined?
We’re cuddled on the couch, my head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me as the kids are passed out in their rooms.
Parker and Milo played video games—I found out Milo is a really sore loser—while Ava went out with her friends.
It was a nice quiet evening, and a sense of peace was everywhere.
There’s something to be said about closure. I always thought it was such bullshit until I actually found it. Knowing Peter’s killer will spend the rest of his life behind bars, has allowed me a chance to accept his loss.
Then, I look at Milo and I can’t help but wonder if my husband isn’t up there smiling down.
While he and Peter are polar opposites, Milo is exactly the man I need.
“I hate that you’re leaving tomorrow,” I tell him.
“I’m not happy about it either. I’m not happy about anything right this moment.”
I lift my head back. “You’re not happy with me?”
He shakes his head. “No, darling, you’re the only thing I’m happy about.”
Well, that was sweet.
“It’s hard because I know you need to be there for your mother, but selfishly, I want you here with me.”
Milo releases a heavy sigh. “We need to talk.”
I sit up, instantly, feeling uneasy. “What’s going on?”
“Do you know that my cousin Edward ran the London office of Dovetail?”
I nod. I’ve spoken with Edward a few times since working for the company. He’s an idiot, but I couldn’t exactly tell Callum that. There was always some issue that was simple to fix that Edward screwed up even worse than before.
“Right, so he did a rather shit job. I’m sure you’ve had to deal with him a time or two.”
Then the phrasing he just said dawns on me. “Yes. But you said . . . ran? As in past tense?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Who is running it now?”
I already know the answer. I can see it in his eyes.
“Me.”
My stomach drops and all the feelings I had about security and my life going in the direction I wanted dissipates. Milo wouldn’t look like he’s ready to lose his mind if this was some temporary thing. He wouldn’t be dodging Callum’s calls or texts. He would’ve told me, but he didn’t.
“How long have you known?”
Milo closes his eyes and when they’re open again, I see his guilt. “A week. I couldn’t tell you, Danielle. I was dealing with my mother and you had the sentencing. I’m not even sure if I’m going to accept the position.”
“What do you mean?”
He gets to his feet and starts to pace. “I don’t want to live in fucking London. I don’t want to go back there like this. I want to stay here, there’s no other way I can be happy. The mere idea of walking away from you makes me ill.”
“I don’t understand. Callum offered you the company and you don’t want to take it? Because of me?”
He stops, his eyes boring into mine. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m going to turn him down.”
As much as there’s a conviction in what he’s saying, I can see the struggle in his eyes.
This is what he always wanted. He came back to Dovetail to fight for his job. Instead, he’s been offered a chance to run the London office. I don’t see how he can walk away. Whether he needs money or not, he’s not happy being my assistant. Milo is far too intelligent to do that, and I don’t know what job he’d take in the Tampa office. It’s too small still, and . . . Edward should’ve never had that job.