If I Only Knew

“Yeah.” I shake my head. “He really was.”

“He loved you three. He talked about taking time off more, being there to see the kids grow up,” Richard smiles.

“Too bad he didn’t.”

I see the instant regret flash in his eyes. “If you ever need anything, Danni, please don’t hesitate to call us. You’re family.”

There was way too much dysfunction and backstabbing in the office. I would never trust any of them. Still, I can’t be rude. “Thank you, Richard. We really appreciate that.”

Ava tells us she’s going to call her friends and excuses herself. I need to call mine, in fact, where are my damn friends? Or my boyfriend? Boyfriend. Jesus. Saying that at thirty-nine doesn’t feel weird or anything.

I dig in my purse for my phone and see two missed calls and a text from Milo.



* * *



Milo: You’re not answering, but I’m at the airport heading to London. Please call Nicole when you’re free. I’m sorry.





* * *



My stomach drops. “Excuse me,” I say to Richard.

I’m already dialing Nicole’s number as I get outside the courtroom. It rings. And rings. “Come on pick up,” I whisper.

“Hey.” She answers after what feels like forever.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“First, are you okay? Did they find him guilty?”

I don’t want to talk about this, but Nicole is . . . forceful when she wants something.

“Yes. Guilty. What’s going on with Milo?”

She huffs. “All I know is he and Callum left for London. Their mother is sick and I guess she’s been keeping it quiet, but she collapsed and they had to go right away.”

“Oh, God.”

“Yeah, I don’t know, Danni,” she pauses. “Milo was here talking about his mom coming here for Friendependence Day to meet you, and the kids. Then something about his job when Callum’s phone rang. I’m not sure what their plan is, but my husband said he’d call when they had details.”

I rub my forehead. “Okay, keep me posted.”

This is so bad. Milo mentioned the other day about his mom being alone in London and some guilt he felt. I can’t imagine how he’s working through all of that.

Then another part of the conversation hits me. Milo went to Callum’s house to talk about me and his job?

Oh, God. I hope he didn’t quit. I swear, he just acts sometimes and I could scream. We discussed this and apparently, he doesn’t listen.

Okay, getting upset isn’t going to do anything. He’s in London and I need to table this until we can talk.





It’s been four days. Four days. Four phone calls. Four times I’ve found myself thinking about flying to London.

I can’t go. I know this. I just want to be close to him.

Also, this temporary assistant that Kristin recommended, Sierra, is absolutely ridiculous. She has to be related to Erica, Kristin’s special snowflake.

First, she put salt in my coffee, thinking it was sugar.

She then managed to spill her salty coffee on my desk, soaking a proposal I was working on. Then, she somehow, and I still can’t figure out what possible way this happened, Sierra got in my inbox and deleted it all to help with clutter.

Thank God for the IT division and putting child locks on her computer.

I can’t even.

I never thought I would miss Milo because of work. But here I am, once again finding a way to rationalize him coming home soon.

My video call rings and I smile when his face pops up. “Hi,” I say with a dreamy sigh.

“Hello, sweetheart.”

“How is your mom?” I ask.

“Not good.”

He looks tired. I can see the stress in his eyes, and I hate it. Milo is always smart-mouthed, arrogant in some ways, and sarcastic. He’s never sullen and I don’t like it.

“I’m sorry, what are the doctors saying?”

Milo cracks his neck and flops on his bed. “I’m going back in the morning, but it’s not looking good. We finally got her a proper room instead of that shit they tried to keep her in.”

“I’m glad you’re there though.” Selfishly, of course, I’m not. He’s where he needs to be, though. After losing his father the way he did, I can’t imagine him not being close to his mom.

“I hate it. I wish we could throw her on a plane and take her to where it’s bloody warm. I forgot how fucking freezing it is here. Tampa is a much more desirable climate.”

I wish a lot of things, but I know he needs to vent a bit.

“Still.” I give a sad smile. “You’re where you’re close to your mom. I’m sure she has comfort knowing you and Callum are there.”

Milo grumbles and his eyes narrow. “He’s a prick. I don’t know why my mother didn’t sell him when he was a boy. Such a bloody know it all. It’s maddening, you know. I swear he thinks he’s always in charge and I’ve had it. Fuck off big brother.”

I bust up laughing at his outburst. “Stop it. He’s probably scared too.”

Now I get the look of death. “Scared? I’m not scared. I’m bloody pissed that’s what I am.”

“I see that.”

“He thinks he can walk into any room and command it. I don’t think so. I’m younger but my balls are much bigger, you can vouch for that.”

My jaw drops and no words come out. He’s clearly not happy with his brother, but Jesus.

“Milo, this is a chance, okay?”

“For what?”

“For you to be a fucking grown up. You and Callum need to knock it off. You know better than anyone that life is short and the only guarantee is that it’ll come to an end. So, stop it. If Callum died, how would you feel? Terrible, that’s what. So be the man I fell in love with. The one who is full of compassion.”

Milo grimaces but then nods. “Only because you used a cheap trick to get me to bend to your will.”

“Yes, I’m full of cheap tricks. Speaking of, I’ve decided that you don’t have to hold the rabbit anymore.”

“Really?” he asks with delight.

“Yes, I’m going to be nice and let you off the hook, even though I don’t think for a second you would do the same.”

He smirks. “Don’t get upset about it. It would’ve been hilarious to see you walk up to my brother and tell him about my sexual competency.”

“You’re a mess.”

“True, but together we’re rather perfect.”

I smile and blow him a kiss. “Go get some sleep. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. How is your new assistant working out?”

“Shut up.”

“Well, don’t get upset about it, Callum will be back in two days. You can complain to him then.”

“He’s coming back?”

Since they got there, not much information has been fed back to me, which I completely understand. Milo and Callum have needed to take care of their mother, not worry about telling me crap. I’ve been kept in the loop by Nicole mostly. She didn’t mention anything about this plan when we spoke today.

Milo nods. “Yes. He’s needed back there, and I’m not exactly a critical employee.”

“You are to me,” I inform him.

“Sweet. However, I’m needed here.”

“How long do you think?”

Milo sighs. “I don’t know. I can’t leave her here all alone.”

“I would never ask you to.”

“I know.” He gets himself under the covers and I wish I could touch his face.

“The sentencing is next week.”

It’s been weighing on me a lot the last few days. I want this over. This is the final piece of resolution.

Milo’s eyes turn sad. “I hate that I’m not there, but it all depends how the next few days go. Maybe I’ll make it back.”

“That wasn’t why I was saying it.”

“Doesn’t mean that’s not how I feel.”

My temporary assistant pops her head in. “Did you call me?”

“No,” I draw the word out. “I’m on a call.”

“Oh,” she giggles. “That makes sense. I thought maybe you were talking to yourself and I was going to let you finish, but then I thought maybe you were talking to me.”

Oh my God.

“Thank you for checking, Sierra,” I somehow get the words out.

“Of course! My job is to make sure you’re all set.”

My job is to wonder how we’re giving the reins over to the younger generation.

Great. Now I’m one of those older people complaining about kids today.