If I Only Knew

“This can’t be good,” he says as he scratches his head. “Out with it.”


“I quit.”

Subtlety was never my strong suit.

“You quit?”

“Yes.”

He shakes his head. “Okay. Why?”

There are a multitude of reasons, but Callum in all his faults has always been honest with me. I feel I owe him the same in this instance.

“Because I’m falling in love with my boss and I don’t think it’ll be a good look for us if I stay on.”

“You’re in love?” he laughs. “You?”

“Fuck off, mate. Yes. I don’t know why you find that funny.”

Callum shrugs and then hands me another bottle. “Because you’ve always been so against love, as if it made you weak.”

“It does!” I yell. “I’m quitting my fucking job because of her.”

He releases a deep breath through his nose and nods. “I moved my company to America for Nicole. But you can’t quit, Milo.”

“You don’t get to make that choice.”

“No,” he agrees. “But there’s another option—” His phone rings and he puts his finger up. “Hello?”

I grumble.

“Milo.” Callum grips my arm when I start to walk out the room. “Yes. I understand. I’ll let Milo know. Of course,” I hear the panic. “Text me all the details.”

“What’s going on?” I ask with my heart racing.

Something is wrong. I know my brother and the last time he looked at me like this, I found out my father was dead.





Chapter Twenty-Seven





Danielle





“What happens now, Mom?” Ava asks as we sit in the courtroom, waiting for the verdict to be read.

I haven’t been back since my outburst. Maybe because it didn’t matter in some ways. Maybe because I didn’t want to hear any more lies. Or maybe because as much as I want to get closure, I found something else worth focusing on.

However, Richard called and said we should come today. He got word the jury had reached their decision.

As promised, I got Ava out of school and we came here together.

“They’ll call the court to order and read the verdict. If he’s guilty, they’ll set sentencing. If he’s innocent, you and I are leaving immediately before we’re descended upon, understand?”

She nods.

Keeping my word on this was incredibly difficult. I didn’t think it would be this tough. She’s mature for her age in some ways, but this was her daddy. He was the first man she ever looked up to, loved, and wanted to find someone like.

He’s not only gone, but now she’s going to hear things that she may not want to. I’m a grown woman and couldn’t handle it.

“I’ve never seen him,” she notes. “You know, Daddy’s killer.”

“I never wanted you to.”

My phone vibrates, but I don’t look. This moment is too great to be distracted. I know that Parker is safe at school and then Kristin will take him. Aubrey apparently had big plans for their time together.

“Why?” Ava asks.

“Because he’s the last person your father saw, and I hate him for taking that from our family. I wanted you to stay innocent and protected from him, but I see that you can do this. You’re a beautiful, strong girl, Ava Kristin. I’m very proud of you.”

Gone is the angry mask she’s worn relentlessly for the past two years, and I see her again. “I’m proud of you too, Mom.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you know . . . you’re dating and it’s nice to see you happy. I guess. I mean, I don’t care, but if I have to be around you, I’m glad you’re not being a bi—”

“Watch it,” I warn her.

She shrugs with a grin. “Sorry, I thought we were doing what you and Aunt Nicole do, the whole honesty is the only policy we subscribe to.”

I roll my eyes. “You don’t get admission to that club, kid.”

Ava starts to talk, but then the side door opens and Adam McClellan walks in. I grab her hand, offering support as well as needing some of hers. Each time I see him I hate him even more.

“Just look forward okay?” Her eyes meet mine and I see the fear swimming. “You’re safe, Ava. You have nothing to fear. No matter what happens today, you’re safe, loved, and everything will be okay.”

“He’s just sitting there.”

“I know.” I squeeze her hand. “Eyes forward or on me.”

She squeezes back and sighs. I look around for Milo. He said he’d be here, but I haven’t heard from him. Which is strange because he’s the one person that has always been in this room when I needed him, even when I didn’t know I did.

A few heartbeats later, the judge enters and court is called to order.

“Has the jury reached a verdict?” she asks.

“We have your honor.”

“Bailiff, please . . .” The judge extends her hand and he goes to get the envelope.

My stomach is in my throat as I watch her read. She makes no reaction to whatever their decision was, which I remember Peter complaining about all the time.

Being on this side, it sucks.

Each second feels like an hour passing.

Ava wraps her hand around my arm, holding on tight.

The judge hands the envelope back and then it goes back to the head juror. I swear, this is meant to make people crazy. It’s not just about the murderer sitting there whose fate will be determined, it’s about all of us. The people who loved my husband, our family, everyone who saw our grief and loss. This matters.

“Will you please read the verdict?” she asks as a commandment.

I could throw up. My stomach twists, my hands are sweating and I want to cry without even knowing the outcome.

It’s so much.

“We the jury, find the defendant, Adam McClellan, on the count of murder in the first degree, guilty.”

Relief floods through me and tears start to fall. Ava bursts out in tears, wrapping her arms around me.

“On the count of Illegal Possession of a hand gun, guilty.”

I don’t care about the rest of them, but this is vindication. I can breathe again. They continue to go through the rest of the charges, as I let it all out. I didn’t screw up our chance to nail him. We didn’t lose. We have justice for the hell this man put us through.

Ava and I sit close, holding each other’s hands as they inform him of his sentencing date.

“That’s it?” she asks with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“That’s it.”

We stand and the prosecutor walks toward us. “I’m so happy we have justice for Peter,” Rachel says.

“We are too. I know that when he was alive, you guys fought on the opposite side . . .”

She shakes her head. “No, we were on the side of the law. Peter may not have been fighting for the side I chose, but he deserved justice.”

“He did,” I agree.

Ava wipes her cheeks and squares her shoulders. “I want to be here and speak at his sentencing.”

Rachel looks to me and then back at her. “If your mother is okay with it, I think it would be helpful.”

“Mom?”

I close my eyes while releasing a breath through my nose. “If you want to do that, I won’t stop you. You have to behave, though. I’m not trying to give you an ultimatum, I’m asking you to think about what kind of girl you want them to see when you’re standing before the judge.”

This is hard, this parenting thing. On one hand you want to teach your kids they need to stand on their own feet. The other hand wants to put them in a bubble, hold tight, and never let anything touch them. Then there’s the middle, where you don’t know which way to go, and I hate the middle.

“I know. I just want to say some things,” she explains.

“I do too, honey.”

Richard comes over and hugs us both. “I’m glad we have justice for Peter.”

“Me too.”

“Peter would’ve won that case,” he laughs to himself. “That’s all I kept thinking. If he was the defense attorney, he would’ve shredded the prosecution. He was a fantastic lawyer, friend, and we miss him.”

As much as I want to slap him for that being his first thought, I smile. Peter would’ve. He was great, and he would’ve gotten it done. Also, my husband was arrogant enough to have that been the first words out of his mouth. He thought he was great, and the fact that his business partner would’ve thought the same, probably has him smiling from Heaven.