If I Only Knew

We walk a few streets over and then she slips her heels off. I remove my shoes and then we make our way onto the sand.

“I love it here,” she muses as we approach the water.

“I’m not that fond of the ocean.”

“Really?” The surprise is clear in her voice.

I wrap my arm around her waist, holding her tightly. “Not since my father died. He and my mother would take us on holiday to the beaches in France. We went every year, no matter what. After he died, we stopped all together.”

Danielle stops walking and faces me. “I’m sorry, Milo.”

“Don’t be, darling.”

She steps closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I wish I could meet your mom. Nicole is terrified of her, but she’s an asshole, so most mothers don’t love her.”

I laugh. “Mum is a lot like Nicole, I think. They’re unapologetic as to who they are.”

“She said that.”

“Which is why I think Callum fell for her so fast.”

She rests her head on my chest. Without her heels, our height difference is funny. My head sits on the top of her head and we stand here.

“I feel like I fell for you fast,” Danielle admits.

“You do?”

She nods against me. “I didn’t want to. I sometimes still don’t.” Her head lifts, and the world fades away as she looks at me as though I’m worthy of her affections. “If I fall hard, and you don’t catch me, I worry I won’t survive the landing.”

My heart aches and I see how much her words cost her. My hands hold her face, and I vow right now, I will do anything to make her feel secure. “I will always break your fall, Danielle. I want to be your safety net, and I hope I’ve proven that to you. Seeing you hurt, causes me pain. You’re not the only one who’s falling.”

“I’m not?”

How is she so blind? “No. I’m all in.”

She smiles, lifts up on her toes, and kisses me. “And you said you weren’t a hero.”

I release a breath through my nose and rest my head against hers. “I guess I needed to find a cause worth fighting for.”





Chapter Twenty-Four





Danielle





“I’m not hosting the barbeque this year,” I tell Nicole as she gives me her disapproving look.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t feel like it.”

Why do I need to have a reason? It’s stupid and I don’t need the damn stress.

“You’re full of shit.” Nicole plops herself in the chair in my office.

“Thanks for dropping by, Nic.”

I don’t know why she’s even asking about it. Each year, she’d cry and complain about having to schlep all the way over to my house, deal with my stupid husband, and leave with a renewed desire to stay single. Heather would basically threaten her to get her to come—and behave. I thought if anyone would be happy about it being done, it would be her.

“I’m not going anywhere. I fuck your boss, so I kind of have the fuck-you-very-much card.”

I release a heavy sigh and bang my head on my desk. “Why have I not moved to Texas or some other state to escape you people?”

“Friendependence Day is something we celebrate. I understood why we didn’t the year before because Kristin was dealing with her divorce. Then you cancelled Friendsgiving, which I accepted. I gave you another few months—”

“Oh, burying my husband that year was a good excuse?”

“Well, better than whatever shit you’re coming up with this year.”

“Jesus Christ, Nicole. Do you have a soul or were you always this cold-hearted?”

“Not really sure because both answers are equally scary.” Nicole shrugs while looking at her nails. “This year you need to do this.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Because your kids need to know that life goes on after loss. Ava, in all her crazy rebellion loves her aunts and cousins. Friendependence Day has been a staple in her life, Parker’s, Aubrey’s and Finn’s since they were born—and your friends’. We did this because you fucking forced us and now you need to continue on.”

She’s got balls. I’ve always known this, but this is bold even for her. “Why do I have to host it?”

Nicole runs her hand through the blonde hair I secretly hate out of jealousy. I spent a long time trying to dye mine that color and then gave up. “Because it was always you who hosted. Kristin could, but she’s traveling to see Noah for two weeks before it. Heather is talking about surprising Eli and we both know I’m the last person anyone should trust. Your house has always been where we did it.”

“I really don’t want to do this,” I sigh.

“Why, Danni?”

Why? Because Friendependence Day was Peter’s thing. Even though my friends were definitely not always nice to him, he loved it. I swear, as soon as New Year’s was over, he was talking about new ideas to set up the yard.

“You know why. You know why this stupid barbeque is hard for me.”

“Yes, but it’s all the more reason why you should still do it.”

“Should do what?” Milo asks at the door of my office.

I look to my friend to bail me out. It’s not like it’s a secret, but I can’t exactly explain my way out of it either.

“You know . . .” Nicole grins and gets to her feet. “You’re her assistant still, right?”

Milo’s eyes narrow a bit. “Yes?”

“Great. We hold a big barbeque each year where the whole gang comes, the kids, significant others and all that. Danielle hosts it, and this year, she’ll need some help.”

“Nicole!” I hiss her name through my teeth.

I want to throat punch her.

“What? He’s your assistant, he can assist so it’s not too much for you. You were just saying that you were super busy. I see a problem and I fix it.”

I look at Milo who is clearly confused. “You don’t have to do any of this because we’re not having it.”

“Why ever not?” he asks.

Great, now I have to explain it to him? I haven’t held back on mentioning Peter, but it’s not been long since we started dating. Our relationship is new and I’m trying to be sensitive to how I would feel if he was always bringing things back to his ex. Last weekend was an amazing first date—and I won the bet—but we’ve been slammed with work since then and we haven’t spent much time outside of the office.

Milo hasn’t said anything or even implied it’s an issue, but I happened to have mentioned my fear to Nicole the other day. Seems I’m going to pay for it now.

“Yes, why, Danni?” She smiles at me knowing I won’t say it.

“I just don’t think you should have to do things like this. It’s not a Dovetail event so . . .”

Milo sits beside Nicole. “Bollocks.”

“God, I love that word,” Nicole’s voice is wistful. “You say it even better than Callum. His accent is fading here and there since we’ve been in the states. Say fuck.”

Milo chuckles. “Fuck.”

“Oh.” She squirms. “Say knickers.”

“Knickers,” Milo repeats.

“Say, I’ll help Danielle with the party because I’m not a wanker.”

I groan. “I’m pissed at you. It’s bad enough you’re pretty, but then you have to be a pushy bitch and not listen to the people around you.”

She was blessed with big boobs, blue eyes, and blonde hair. Not to mention, she’s skinny, smart, funny, and has never needed anyone to take care of her. Pair all that with her personality and it’s no wonder it took a man like Callum to catch her attention.

“Milo will throw us a proper party.” Nicole winks. “I can speak British, too.”

He bursts out laughing.

At least someone finds her entertaining. “You laugh now, but I give you a week with her and you’ll find her as irritating as I do.”

“If Cal hasn’t grown tired of her by this point, I’m sure I wouldn’t.”

She smirks at me with her head tilted. “I totally picked the wrong brother.”

A pang of jealousy strikes me because if Nicole wanted him then I never would’ve gotten him.

And then a new wave of emotions flood. When did I start thinking of him as mine? Why does the idea of Nicole and Milo make me want to rip out her eyes? She’s my friend. She never would do anything, but I’m sitting here, balling my hands into fists.

“Sorry, love.” Milo looks at me and then Nicole. “I prefer brunettes. One in particular.”