“I’ll quit. I don’t need this job for the money, I’m plenty rich already.”
My jaw hangs open. If it wasn’t about money, then why the hell is he doing this? Milo did my job for years, he’s definitely the most overqualified assistant ever. It made no sense to me why he continued to show up here, so I assumed it had to be financial.
“I don’t . . . I don’t understand.”
“I told you, I’m selfish. I wanted my job back because I never should have lost it. My brother was a prick and I wanted him to get his comeuppance. Mum was driving me nuts so I got on a plane and came here. But, no, it’s not the money I need. It’s the fact that he took it away, and therefore, I wanted it back.”
“Screw the collateral damage?” I counter, meaning me.
“In the spirit of this conversation, I’ll answer you honestly. Yes.”
I get to my feet. I knew that would be the answer, but after what I did, it still stings.
His hand grips my wrist before I can walk away. “I didn’t know you, Danielle. I didn’t know you even existed.”
I close my eyes, trying my hardest to stop the crushing emotions threatening to spill over. It’s not just what he said about not even needing the job he tried to take from me, it’s the adrenaline wearing off and looking around at the mess. I had sex for the first time since Peter died.
Hell, I hadn’t had sex with anyone else since I was freaking twenty-two.
What the hell did I do?
Oh my god.
I grab the desk and lean back. Milo’s arm is around my waist a moment later.
“Danielle?”
I look at him and guilt, shame, and regret start to fill me.
“No.” His jaw ticks. “I see what you’re doing and stop right now. Did you hear nothing that I said?”
“You don’t get it. I liked it, Milo! I wanted it. I wasn’t thinking like the adult here. I begged you.” I grip my hair. “Jesus Christ. I begged you and I . . .” I blew him.
I was on my knees with his dick in my mouth.
I can’t remember the last time I gave Peter a blow job.
With Milo, I wanted to. I was so turned on by the idea of sucking his dick that I practically begged him to let me.
“I’m not going to lie and say that doesn’t make me rather happy. But so what? We’re consenting adults that had sex. I don’t see the problem or what has you so upset.”
No, he wouldn’t. Tears start to well in my eyes and I wrap my arms around my chest. It’s not just about the sex for me. I’ve never been that kind of girl, and I don’t think I ever could be. I’m no prude, but I believe that sex should mean something. I’m old fashioned in some ways, and Milo very much is not.
I know when I say this, it may not make sense, but maybe this will help us walk away at this point before I’m in too deep.
“I was married for almost my entire adult life. I would still be married to Peter if he wasn’t dead. I’ve only had sex with one man before him. What we did . . . what we shared just now, that meant something whether you know it or not.” I wipe away a tear and another one forms. “I know that it’s not the same for you. We aren’t anything and you owe me nothing. God, I sound like a crazy person. Please don’t think I’m asking for you to share my views. I don’t need for you to give me any hope for something more.”
Milo takes a step forward, he wipes the tear from my cheek. “You don’t have to ask me for anything when I’m trying to give it to you,” his voice is filled with tenderness. “My feelings for you aren’t only sexual. Don’t misunderstand, I want to continue to have sex, but I also want more than that.”
My lips part as I look in his eyes to see if he’s lying. “More?”
He nods. “Yes, Danielle, more. I’ll be honest, I don’t know what more looks like.”
“Meaning a relationship?” I ask.
“Yes, I’ve never been in one before, they do seem quite fascinating.”
I roll my eyes. “How are you forty-one and never had a girlfriend?”
Milo smiles, kisses the tip of my nose, and shrugs. “I never found a woman worthy of my affections.” How is it that I like him so much? He’s such a jerk sometimes. “That is until I found you.”
And then he says shit like that and I’m a puddle.
“Well.” I uncross my arms and put them around his waist. “I’ll tell you this, you keep saying things like that and it’ll go a long way for you.”
He laughs and brushes his nose against mine. “Noted. Anything else I should be aware of?”
“Hmm,” I stretch out the sound as I think. What to tell a guy about how to be in a relationship . . . “I think compliments, flowers, and affection are a must. You should also be aware that you’ll probably not get what you want in the end, and the girl is always right, especially this girl.”
Milo chuckles. “Is that all?”
“Well, there are other things, but they should be pretty obvious.”
“No shagging other women, right?”
“That’s a given.”
“And you will not be with another man?” he asks with his brow raised.
“If that’s what we’re doing, then no. I would never betray the man I was with.”
“What is it that you want us to be doing?”
With Peter, we never had time to ease into it. We started dating and then I was pregnant with Ava. There was this whole chunk of time we lost because we didn’t get to really enjoy one another. Here was a chance to pump the brakes.
“I want to take this slow,” I say. “Not because I’m unsure, but because I have kids to think about, and I want us to enjoy our time getting to know each other.”
“You know that I’m aware of your children and that they’re part of the deal?”
“I would hope so. Oh, and my friends, they’re kind of a part of the package too.”
I might as well get that clear now. Kristin, Heather, and Nicole are pretty much staples in my life. Not that I don’t make my own choices, but I know what comes with their disapproval.
“Understood.” Milo smiles down at me. “And I like your kids. Ava is a little scary, but Parker is a fantastic kid.”
“Yes on both counts.”
“All right, sweetheart. We take this slow. We enjoy each other’s company, and for now, we take it one day at a time, sound good?”
I run my hand up to his neck and bring his lips to mine. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For making me smile again, even if I was laughing at you some of those times.”
Milo grins. “I bet I can find other ways to make you smile.”
“I look forward to finding out.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Danielle
“So it’s actually a date this time?” Ava asks as she rummages through my closet.
“No.”
“But you guys are dating?”
I sigh. I decided that the best way to get Ava to stop being out of control was to treat her the way she wants to be treated. The last week has been like having my girl back who wasn’t occupied by Satan’s soul. I’m not sure if my new parenting approach is actually working, but I’m going with it for now.
First thing I did was tell her that Milo and I were seeing each other.
After her initial round of questions that I’ll never repeat to anyone because I’m scarred for life, she actually got a little excited.
“I told you, we’re taking it slow. Tonight is a business dinner. We’re going to celebrate the permits and talk about the next project on the list.”
She laughs. “Last time you said it was business I caught you fogging up the windows.” Ava grabs the dress and starts to twirl around. “Like a couple of school kids. Oh, Milo, kiss me.” She makes noises and rubs the dress against her. “Talk British to me before I stick my tongue in your mouth.”
“Knock it off and give me the dress, you nut job. And you and I aren’t besties or whatever you kids call it, so we’re not talking about kissing.”
I’m so not going there with her. There are lines, and this is one we won’t cross.
“You don’t have to talk to me about it, I caught you and posted it on the internet. You’re welcome.”
“I really should’ve considered adoption when I was pregnant.”
Ava shrugs. “I would’ve found you eventually.”
Yeah, she definitely would’ve.