He rummaged through a binder, found my name, highlighted it, then handed over a lanyard with my name on it. He also gave me a piece of paper with my first tournament time.
He was ready to turn to the next person when I caught his attention.
“Think you could look up another player for me? Tell me if they’re here yet?”
I wanted to ask just in case I missed her car.
“Sure, what’s the name?”
“Lily Hahn.”
He searched the binder then looked up. “Not yet,” he said, shaking his head.
“Thanks,” I said, waving at him as I turned toward a trophy case on the opposite wall.
I leaned against it and scrolled through my phone, landing on Lily’s name, and pressed her number. It rang at least ten times before going to voicemail, so I tried again but got the same result. My stomach flipped. I scrolled through again and rang Noah this time.
“Hello,” he answered, his voice rough from sleep.
“Noah, it’s Salinger. Do you know where Lily is?”
“Lily?” he asked. I could hear him sitting up. “Uh, yeah, someone told me they saw her last night at Trace’s.”
“Trace?” I asked. “Is she okay?”
“Think so.”
“Okay,” I answered. My heart plummeted to my feet. “Thanks.”
“No prob. Hey, don’t you have that tournament today?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I told him as they opened the doors to one of the rooms and called for my rating level. “Listen, I’ve gotta jet. They just called me.”
“Oh, okay, good luck.”
“Thanks, man.”
I hung up, put my phone on vibrate, and entered the room.
“Hey, Salinger!” Ron called out to me. “You ready?” he asked, offering his hand.
“Yeah,” I said, shaking it.
“Looking to see this girl you wouldn’t shut up about. See if she’s as good as you claim,” he teased.
I felt my face flame. “Yeah, about that,” I began, placing a hand on the back of my neck, the other in my front pocket. “It doesn’t look like she’s coming.”
Ron laughed then realized I was serious. “Wait, what? What the hell, Salinger? I pulled some freaking strings for you. Seriously. You vouched for her.”
I shook my head and could only shrug my shoulders. “I’m so sorry,” was all I could offer in explanation. “I made a mistake.”
“Damn,” he said, starting to walk away, “I’ve got to do some rearranging now.”
“So sorry, Ron!” I called out.
“It’s okay!” he lied. “Good luck in there!” he said, pointing behind me.
I nodded and turned.
I won the whole damn tournament, pocketing $2,500.
But what the hell. The tournament wasn’t about me. It wasn’t official, and I didn’t even care to compete. It was about Lily, and she kind of screwed me over.
Whatever.
CHAPTER NINE
Lily
I WAS AWAKE but my stomach roiled. I kept my eyes shut and breathed deeply. The sun poured through the window and bathed my skin, making me feel hot. I wish we had an air conditioner, I thought. I cracked one eye open and stared at the ceiling, not recognizing it. What in the world?
“Oh shit!” I yelled, shooting up.
“Shut up!” someone complained.
Vomit threatened to make an appearance, but I took a deep breath through my nose. I reached for my phone in my back pocket and brought it toward my face. It was three o’clock in the afternoon.
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “Oh my God. Salinger.”
I climbed over random people and made my way toward Trace’s front door, practically falling outside, and landed on the front porch. I blinked to clear my vision and rang him up.
“Come on, come on, come on,” I whispered.
His voicemail picked up. “Salinger here. Leave a message.”
“Salinger,” I begged, “I am so sorry. Oh my God, I am so sorry. I—” I began but felt overwhelming shame since I had no good excuse. “I am so sorry. I know you, uh,” I took a deep breath, “really put yourself out there for me. I’m so sorry. I’m just,” I exhaled, “so sorry.”
I hung up the phone and toppled onto the top step of the porch. “I can’t believe this,” I complained to no one.
Ansen drove up at that moment with Katie in the passenger’s seat.
“Idiot!” Ansen called out.
“Noah called us,” Katie explained. “Salinger was looking for you. You missed the tournament.”
Tears came flowing down my face. “I know,” I quieted.
I stood up and met them at their car. When I got in the backseat, I handed my phone to Katie. “It’s on its last leg,” I explained.
She plugged it in and turned toward me. “Call him,” she encouraged softly.
“I did,” I told her and shrugged my shoulders. “I’ve screwed this up before it even started, Katie.”
“You don’t know that,” she tried to appease.
I leaned back into my seat. “I like him so much. Why did I do this?”
Ansen looked at me through the rearview mirror. “Why did you do this?” he asked.
“I sabotaged myself? I don’t know.” I shook my aching head. “I’ve never handled a simple joint this badly before. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.”
Katie took a deep breath. “Okay, well, now we do damage control. You’ll come to my house, shower, borrow some of my clothes or whatever. We’ll go to the market tonight and see if he’s working.”
“I don’t know if I can face him,” I admitted.
“Grow some balls, Hahn,” Ansen encouraged. “Swallow your pride.”
I took a deep, shaky breath and nodded.
I showered at Katie’s and she washed some of my things while I was in there. I had a splitting headache and my stomach was so unsettled. I think he laced that blunt, I thought.
“We have to quit smoking,” I told her.
She nodded. “I know, babe.”
“Do you mean that?” I asked her, my hand resting on her forearm.
“Yes,” she told me. “I just don’t know how.”
“Neither do I,” I told her.
“We’ll figure it out,” she said, setting me down in a chair while my underwear and bra and clothes were in the dryer.
She dried my hair and curled it for me, which relaxed me.
“Thank you,” I told her. “You’re a good friend.”
“I know, mama.” She winked.
She did my makeup for me and did her best to cover up my yellowing bruises. Ansen laughed at something on the television and Katie rolled her eyes playfully at me.
“I’m glad Ansen has you,” I told her.
“I’m glad I have Ansen,” she said.
“You’re lucky,” I admitted.
“I know. He works hard and he’s kind to me,” she said with a smile.
I put my underwear and cutoffs back on but borrowed a shirt and kimono from Katie.
“Do you feel pretty?” she asked, fixing a curl.
“Kind of,” I answered.
“Good,” she said. “That helps, I think.”
“It shouldn’t matter,” I laughed.
“Regardless, it makes you feel confident, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“True.”
She smiled at me. “Let’s go then.”
“Let’s,” I told her.
We pulled up to the market at nine because I knew that was when he usually started work. Ansen squeezed my shoulder when I got out of his car and Katie waved.
“We’ll be in the back of the lot making out,” Ansen told me and I laughed.
Katie shook her head but laughed as well.
I took a deep breath and walked into the store.
“Damn, Lily,” Danny offered.
I nodded at him. “Is Salinger here?” I asked.
“Yeah, in the back,” he said. “Coming to break his heart?” he joked.
“I’m here to apologize.”
“Well, I forgive you,” he flirted then laughed.
I waved over my shoulder at him and made my way toward the music in the back. My stomach dropped to my feet when I saw him breaking down boxes, his back to me. There were five other guys there with him, most of them I’d gone to high school with. I’d caught their attention and I pointed at Salinger. They nodded their heads toward me and Salinger turned around.
I swallowed my nerves. “Hi,” I said.
He didn’t answer me, just stared and finished breaking down a box. He tossed it on the floor with the others. “Hey,” he greeted quietly, making my blood race through my veins. I was so unbelievably aware of myself it was painful.
“I, uh, did you get my message?” I asked.
“I did,” he said, picking up another box.
He was the only one working, though. The others had stopped what they were doing and were watching us.