“Yeah, it’s dumb. Hey, what are you doing tonight?”
Freaking out and hoping I don’t let down Salinger. “Nothing much.”
“Really? If you’re up to it, you should head over to my house. I got a couple people coming over. It’s gonna be a good time.”
Yeah, right. “Sounds good. Since it’s close, I might stop by.”
“Good,” he said, walking backward toward the door. “Hope to see you there.” He winked.
I went home around four that afternoon and Sterling still wasn’t home. I almost shouted I was so happy. If I’m lucky, he’ll be gone the whole night long and I’ll get to go to this tournament thing with a clear mind.
I trudged up the run-down steps to find the house still empty. I went to my room and cranked up the small hand radio I’d had since I was little, dancing around my house a little, feeling better about myself than I had in a really long time. It’d been over twenty-four hours since I’d smoked weed, and I didn’t even miss it. I just felt good, lighter somehow.
I stared at the hand radio. It was my dad’s. He left when I was a baby. I didn’t remember him at all, and Mom could barely speak of him. Only the occasional “your dad was into Aerosmith” if one of their songs came on the car stereo or “your dad was allergic to kiwi” or something equally innocuous. The only other thing I knew about him was he was not from Bottle County, so no one in town knew much about him. I would beg Mom, especially when I was really little, for something, any kind of information about him, but every time I did, I could tell her heart would shatter in a million pieces and she didn’t know how to hide the expression of pain on her face. I learned to keep my mouth shut.
It was obvious she’d loved him, and I wanted so badly to know what had happened, why we were alone.
We’d had a small, comfortable life, albeit short lived, before Sterling came barreling through.
I heard keys jingle in the lock of the front door and stopped short. They were heavier than my mom’s keys. I’d learned to differentiate. I yanked my window up and slid through, closing it, then sank into the side of the house. I heard heavy boots land in my room. I laid flat against the rotted siding.
“I know you’re here! Your car’s still out front!” Sterling yelled. I tried to sink as deep into the siding as possible and held my breath. The music from my radio went silent. “Wasting batteries, that little bitch,” I heard him grumble under his breath.
He stomped near the window and I nearly ran but stayed where I was. I didn’t want to run unless I knew for sure he had seen me. I knew it would mean a worse beating if I did, so it was a last resort. “One day,” I heard him promise himself under his breath. “One day I’m going to get her. Tempting little bitch drives me crazy.”
I heard him stomp out of my room and slam my door. I started breathing normally again and fell to the ground. I waited for the adrenalin to taper off, rounded the side of the house, and inspected the back door and deck. When I felt it was clear, I hauled ass to the fence that separated our yard from Trace’s and hopped over.
I held against the wood there, checking for Sterling once more before running through Trace’s yard, through his gate, and to the front of his house. For a split second I thought about calling Salinger but thought better of it. Tomorrow was the tournament and he was already working a double. The last thing I wanted to do was give him more anxiety than he probably already had.
Instead, I climbed Trace’s front porch steps and landed on his doormat, knocking on his door. The door blew wide. Trace looked pissed until he saw my face and his expression softened to something I didn’t want to interpret.
“Well, well, well, looky what we have here,” he said out loud like a dork.
A bunch of boys I went to high school with came into view. “Well, if it isn’t little miss Lily,” Kevin King sang.
“Lily’s here!” someone yelled out, though I couldn’t see them.
Trace kicked open his totally pointless screen door with the torn screen and I walked inside.
“I knew you’d come,” Trace remarked. “Me and the boys were just playing a few games. Want to join us?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, following him into his living room. It had a window that faced my house. I walked over to it and tried to see if I could get a glimpse of Sterling. I didn’t see anything and my heart began to settle.
Seven boys sat strewn about on sofas and chairs and the floor, so I chose a corner on the floor facing the television.
“Why’d you come over so early?” Trace asked as everyone watched him and Kevin play some war game.
“Just trying to get away from Sterling,” I told him.
Everyone nodded. They nodded. Like they knew. Like they understood. It put a sour flavor in my mouth. Is this really my reality? I asked myself.
Something happened on the screen and all the boys yelled then laughed, startling me. I stared down at my phone.
“Fuck you, Kevin!” Trace yelled loudly then laughed.
I looked at them. All of them. Two of them had bottles of liquor in their hands already. Most of them were high. Cigarette smoke filled the room. I couldn’t breathe. Not from the smoke, no. I was choking on our situations. I was suffocating on our status. We were none of us going to do anything. We were none of us going to be anything.
I started laughing to myself. The boys looked confused, but I didn’t care. I was wasting my time on the chess thing. Life was one big colossal joke.
“Want a hit?” Trace asked, passing a blunt my way.
He watched me in a strange way. I could only interpret it as excitement?
“Sure,” I said, taking it.
He leaned closer, watching me intently. “Careful, mama, it’s strong as hell,” he said, his eyes narrowed at me.
“Beautiful,” I whispered, taking it down to almost nothing. Trace smiled at me the way I’d imagined a snake would.
“Oh shit,” I heard deep and muffled before passing out.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Salinger
I WAS WIPED. Sixteen hours straight at the market and I couldn’t wait to get some sleep. I hopped in my Jeep but before I started her up, I checked my phone to see if Lily had written. She hadn’t. I ignored how empty that made my stomach feel.
You all right? I texted her.
When I got back home, I threw my keys on my table and fell on my sofa, waiting on a response, but my body betrayed me and I fell asleep watching some rerun on television.
I woke up around three in the morning, a little dazed, but remembered I hadn’t heard from Lily yet so I checked my phone. No response.
I wished I knew Ansen’s or even Katie’s number so I could have found out if she was with one of them. I fell back to sleep looking forward to seeing her at the tournament later.
My alarm went off around eight a.m. so I hopped in the shower and got ready. My nerves were a little on edge, but I didn’t care. I was more excited about seeing Lily than competing. I’d texted her the address to the tournament the afternoon before and didn’t really have any reason to contact her yet, but I couldn’t help myself.
Can’t wait to see you there. You’re going to kill it, I wrote her.
I got in my car and started making my way. Pure adrenaline coursed through my veins.
Lily was amazing. She had her issues, for sure, but she was freaking talented and so freaking pretty. The boys in her town were dumb as hell. They literally couldn’t see what was right in front of them.
The tournament was held at the recreation center next to the park we had practiced in and the parking lot was full. I searched the rows of cars, though, and couldn’t find her. Must be running behind, I thought. I got out and practically sprinted for the front doors. Inside there were people milling about, so I pushed through and found the registration table.
“Hey, Mickey,” I greeted. “Working the table today?”
“Yeah, you in?”
“Yeah,” I answered.