The above guidelines are now routine. You may think, “Okay, really, Lilly? The right side of the plane?” But hey, why not make little changes that make a difference to you? Every little bit of stress you eliminate contributes to a more productive day. That’s not being a diva; it’s placing yourself in a situation that allows you to be in optimal form.
Another example of being proactive: having meetings after recurring events to review how things went. If you’re going to be with the same team for a long time, you need to work together to make sure things go smoother and smoother each time. When I was on tour, the cast and crew and I would have a debriefing after every single show, from the very first show to the thirty-first show. Yes, we had a debriefing just for fun after the last show (we’re obsessed). We would discuss every technical error or mishap in choreography and come up with a solution right then and there. Sometimes the solution was complicated and required a change in music, and other times the solution was as minor as someone moving slightly to the left. Everyone communicated their issues and we all worked on solutions. The result was a cleaner show every single time.
The next time you’re in a stressful situation, instead of becoming flustered and frustrated, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What can I change next time to avoid this situation?” And then proactively take steps to implement a solution. We only have twenty-four hours to finish today’s level of Mario Kart, and we need to maximize our ability to get things done. After all, we have as many hours in the day as Beyoncé, but we’re at a disadvantage already, because we’re not Beyoncé. Just kidding! You’re just as capable as Beyoncé! Yeah, I said that.
I can see Luigi trembling in his boots already.
Apply It
List two things that stressed you out this week and come up with solutions to eliminate them.
MY OMELETS ALWAYS turn into scrambled eggs. I start off with confidence as my eggs spread perfectly across the pan in a magnificent circle. Every single time I think, “OMG, am I an Iron Chef?” As I order a chef’s hat off Amazon with one hand, I use the other hand to flip my omelet. One hundred percent of the time I perform this move prematurely and my omelet breaks into at least three pieces. After staring at my failure for five seconds (and attempting to cancel my Amazon order), I grab my spatula and break the eggs into even more pieces. I like scrambled eggs better anyway.
Failure doesn’t necessarily mean the end of an idea or project. When things don’t go the way we anticipate, it’s easy to feel like we have to start over, but that’s not always the case. Just because one door has closed, it doesn’t mean it can’t be knocked down or forced back open. I know the quote goes “When one door closes, another opens.” But why didn’t anyone ever try opening the closed door? Or better yet, finding a back door? I just feel like that quote doesn’t factor in effort or imagination or logic. A Bawse knows that, yes, sometimes failure does indeed mean starting over. But a Bawse also knows that other times failure can be molded into unexpected success.
In December 2015, I was working on my “12 Collaborations of Christmas,” a series I do every year that consists of twelve high-profile collaborations with a holiday theme. Each year I try to make the series bigger and better (obviously, like a Bawse), and I reach out to people who excite me, so that they can excite my audience as well. I’ve worked with people like Stephanie McMahon, Adam Devine, Russell Peters, and Gina Rodriguez. That year I decided to reach out to one of my biggest inspirations, an A-list movie actress, whom I adore. I had a good feeling about it, because she had a film set to release during the holiday season. You see, when another artist has a new project coming out, it’s easier to confirm a collaboration because there’s an opportunity for cross-promotion. Apparently there was an event being held in New York City in two weeks that was aimed toward marketing her upcoming film. Part of the marketing plan was to highlight influential women through a variety of media, including online content. Ding, ding, ding! Hello, I am a creator of online content, how may I help you?
My team set up a call for me to pitch an idea for a collaboration. I came up with a creative challenge called the “#GirlLove Challenge.” The idea was to make a game out of spitting rapid-fire compliments at pictures of influential women and encourage viewers to do the same. Very simple and effective. To my great joy, my idea was well received, and I was all set to fly to New York to shoot the video in just a few days. I was over the moon. And not just our moon. Jupiter’s moons. All sixty-seven of them.
Two days before I was supposed to take off, I still didn’t have a flight booked. It made me feel unsettled. It’s cool, though, I thought. This is how L.A. functions, super-last-minute. I continued ironing out the details of my #GirlLove Challenge until my manager called me with some bad news. For whatever reason, the shoot wasn’t going to happen anymore. I wasn’t going to New York and I wasn’t going to collaborate with one of my biggest inspirations. Just like that. In a matter of minutes, everything fell apart. I was absolutely heartbroken.
“I KNOW THE QUOTE GOES, ‘WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER OPENS.’ BUT WHY DIDN’T ANYONE EVER TRY OPENING THE CLOSED DOOR?
For a whole day I walked around like a zombie, completely unmotivated and disappointed. I loved the #GirlLove Challenge idea so much, and I was bummed that it wouldn’t happen. I complained and ranted and then finally tired myself out and went to bed. While lying there, unable to sleep, I had a spontaneous thought: What if I didn’t need to collaborate with a movie star to do the challenge? What if I stopped focusing on the person I couldn’t meet with and started thinking about all the people I did have access to? After all, I believed in the idea more than anything! Right then and there, I sent a voice note to my management saying that the #GirlLove Challenge would happen, regardless, and I would need their help. I was going to pry the door back open.
Over the next week I contacted every influential woman I knew, from Grace Helbig to Shay Mitchell, and got them to send me a clip complimenting another woman, aka the #GirlLove Challenge. Instead of focusing the whole thing around an upcoming movie, I focused on my channel’s demographic and pivoted the challenge toward making a positive difference for my large female audience. I released the video, featuring eighteen influential women, as one of my Christmas collaborations—and the response was overwhelming. Countless media outlets picked up the video, and it reached the likes of Tyra Banks and Priyanka Chopra (to name a few), who each tweeted about it and took part in the challenge. The #GirlLove became a global phenomenon—young girls across the globe were complimenting each other on social media using the hashtag #GirlLove.