How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life

At first I was very skeptical about the entire thing. I didn’t like the idea of getting opportunities because I had a following online. I should have to audition over and over again while juggling three jobs because that’s what people said I had to do. I expressed my discontent to my good friend Humble, saying, “I don’t want to be given opportunities because I have a following, I want to work for opportunities.” His reply changed my entire perspective on the situation. He said: “You weren’t born with your following. You worked for it.”

He was absolutely correct. My following is the result of countless all-nighters, years of hard work, and an unwavering work ethic. Why shouldn’t I create a new path to success in Hollywood via YouTube? Why shouldn’t I change the game? Why shouldn’t I create a new L.A. fairy tale?

Don’t get me wrong. I still have to audition for things over and over again and practice my acting. My online following doesn’t land me movie roles that easily. If that were the case, I’d be Katniss Everdeen, but I am not. (Though I could be. Just a note for any directors reading this who are considering a spin-off franchise: I’m proficient in whistling.) However, my success on YouTube does allow me to take a path less frequently walked. My loyal following has gotten me into meetings with Mindy Kaling and Whitney Cummings. Auditioning didn’t get me into those rooms; my online presence did. Mindy discovered my videos online and she liked my work. That’s what got me in to see her.

When people ask me for advice about the digital space, I always start by saying, “I can tell you about the route I took, but I’m not familiar with the entire map.” I say that because I believe new paths can be created every single day. We live in an exciting time where almost anything is possible. All you need to do is use your unique mind to create a path that works for you. Think about it. Each pathway has only so much room. You don’t want to be that awkward third wheel who’s forced to walk on the grass because of a crowded path, do you? No, you don’t. You’re not Milhouse.

Think about where you want to get in life, what you want to achieve, and where you want to be years from now. Now think about the directions you’ve been given to get there. I want you to pretend like there is an earthquake and the roads between you and your goal are cracking. How are you going to get to your destination? Find two or three more paths that all lead to the same place. That’s how you should view the road map to success. It’s not a straight line, but a loopy, curvy maze that resembles one of those puzzles on the back of a cereal box.

You’re standing in the middle of a blank piece of paper. Unleash your inner architect and design your path to success. Get wild, be creative, and don’t get distracted by the flow of traffic.

Traffic sucks anyway.





I AM LITERALLY LOLing as I write this chapter because I’m the least qualified person to do so. Ask me to pull an all-nighter and I will. Ask me to go on tour for two months and do two shows a day and I’ll do it with a smile on my face. But ask me to do twenty sit-ups and I will run away from home, throw my phone into the ocean so no one can reach me, and hide in the deepest, darkest corner of the earth. Since I stopped dancing professionally years ago, I haven’t been very good at keeping active. I tell myself it’s because I have no time—I’m always busy working. But as I grow older and hustle harder, I’m learning that being active and keeping my body healthy is part of my job.

Being active has nothing to do with being sexy, sculpting a six-pack, or fitting into a smaller size. It’s about making sure your body can keep up with your hustle. Having an amazing work ethic means nothing if your body can’t handle your fast pace. Being active also doesn’t mean you need to become a fitness guru (I mean, unless you want to). I often convince myself that in order to be healthy, I need to change everything about my life—I need to go to the gym for two hours every day and stop eating yummy food. But that’s not the case. Making small changes in order to live a healthier lifestyle can make a big difference. Here are a few ideas.





STRETCH IN THE MORNINGS


I’m going to be honest: most of my mornings begin in an extreme state of panic because I pressed snooze too many times and now I need to brush my teeth while somehow eating cereal if I’m going to make it to my meeting on time. I’ve never really tasted the original flavor of Cheerios. But the few times I have woken up on time and taken a few minutes to stretch, it’s made a huge difference in my day. Not only do I feel more energized and ready to take on the day, but I also don’t move like a ninety-year-old grandma. Who would have thought?!



DON’T TAKE THE EASY WAY

Throughout your day, take the stairs instead of an escalator (I think you’ve heard this before), walk to your destination instead of driving, get up to change the channel instead of using the remote, and when you’re getting ready to go out, dance like no one is watching.



DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF

Sometimes I stop eating all my favorite foods in an attempt to be healthy. But after a few days I cave and binge-eat all the extra-buttery popcorn. It’s not a good look. You don’t need to cut out your favorite foods completely; you just need to eat things in moderation. If you really want some popcorn, have the popcorn, but make yourself a deal. While the popcorn is popping, do some jumping jacks, and instead of extra butter, settle for regular.





DRINK WATER


I don’t think there’s ever been a day in the history of my life, except for maybe when I needed to get an ultrasound, when I’ve had eight glasses of water. That’s just so much water. Also, there are way more delicious things to drink! But drinking water has so many benefits that it’s literally stupid not to just do it. One of the ways I’ve learned to drink more water is to pay attention to my glass while I drink it. I know that may sound silly, but what I noticed is that when I drink water it’s ONLY because I’m thirsty, and so I take a few sips and am done with it. I never actually look at my glass and commit to finishing it. Talk about first-world privilege. So now when I’m drinking water, I don’t put the glass down or walk away until I finish the glass. Sometimes that even means telling myself, “Okay, three more big gulps and then you can leave,” as if I’m a four-year-old child. For example, earlier today I told myself that I wasn’t allowed to enter my apartment from the hallway unless I finished the water in my bottle. I stood there in the hallway guzzling water for five minutes.

Another great life hack: drink a glass of water every time you post on Instagram (or your favorite social media platform). Some of you will be drinking fifteen glasses a day, which is a good indicator that you should slow your roll. If you’re overflowing, you’ll know how our timelines feel.





When I was on tour I was in great shape. My show involved a lot of dancing, which helped build my stamina, and I was getting a lot more done in a day because my body could keep up with my mental hustle. I’d go to rehearsals, do four or five interviews, carry out a sound check, go for a meet-and-greet, perform a show, and then hop on a plane and do it all again the next day. When I’m not in shape, I walk up the stairs to my office and feel like I need to take a nap to recover.

On tour I also drank a lot of water because (a) it was a nervous habit and (b) during every costume change I would guzzle water to cool myself down. It wasn’t until the tour was over that I realized I hadn’t gotten a single pimple on my face in two months of traveling. H2O for the win!

I know it can be hard, but it’s important to be active and healthy. Aging is inevitable and poor health will catch up to you very quickly. A Bawse knows the importance of creating a positive environment for the mind, heart, and soul. You can’t have a happy mind if you have an unhappy body; it just doesn’t work. They would fight and break up. You don’t want your body sleeping on the sofa, do you? I didn’t think so.




Hydrate

If you struggle to drink water, get up now and grab a glass of water. Finish the entire glass before you turn the page. Let the good habit begin!



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