"But I might hurt you," was her answer.
I didn't take the time to comprehend what she said. I didn't want to understand it, truth be told. I wanted her to stop talking, to stop thinking. I wanted her to feel what I was feeling, to not care about titles or money or whatever the past had done to us. "You could never hurt me." I laughed as if it was the most ludicrous idea in the world. How could she hurt me? It wasn't possible, especially since I knew, even though she had not told me, how she felt about me. I saw it in her eyes the first time I'd met her. She couldn't deny it.
"Please back away," she said, and her lip quivered from the cold.
"Not until you tell me you believe me."
"Please," she said again, pushing against me.
But… I couldn't let her go. Not until she understood. Not until she put aside whatever thing she had to tell me and believe what I was telling her. I felt a tear slide down my own face and I fought not to wipe it away. If I did, I'd have to let her go and I couldn't let that happen. "I'm not going to hurt you. I just need you to stay with me. Just for a little while longer. I need you to know…"
"I knew this was a mistake and we must return to the party before others start noticing we are away." She pushed against me again and again I refused to concede. "Let me go," she said more forcefully.
My mind raced in all directions. What had happened in such a short amount of time? It made no sense. "I can't do that. I need you to understand."
"Oh, I understand."
"No… you don't. You don't understand. Why did you bring me out here tonight, Rebecca? Why?"
"I told you." Her voice became more and more forceful. "I had to tell you something and I wished it not be in the company of others."
"I only care what it is if it was to declare your love for me."
Her eyes widened. "Frederick… Mr. Dodsworth… this…"
"Because I love you." I couldn't hold it in any longer. I bent toward her so hastily she could not stop me if she wanted and, with her hands still in mine, I did what I'd wanted to do since I first met her: I took her lips as my own.
Her body, the body I dream about even to this day, stiffened under me and I could feel her surprise. She tried to lean back farther, but I wouldn't let her. Her hands were very tiny and mine, as you know, are big, so I positioned both her of her hands in one of mine and placed my other hand on the back of her head to steady her.
She moaned against my lips and I knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
Finally, I was able to show my love in a way I knew she would understand. Words were just words. Actions spoke volumes. As the snowflakes swirled around us and the chilly December wind blew, I kissed Rebecca Eaton, I declared my love, my desires… In that instant, I knew beyond a doubt that I was hers — and she was mine. Forever and always.
I leaned back and broke off the kiss, just so I could see her face. Tears — happy tears I decided — slid down her rosy cheeks and she looked up at me with big, round eyes. "I love you. I promise to always take care of you and never let you go. I promise."
Without waiting for an answer, I took her lips again, feeling her against me again, forcing her mouth open this time and claiming her in the way I'd thought about all night.
I rubbed my thumb over her hands to let her know it was alright. That I felt the same way too.
In that moment, I believed God was blessing us. He was forming one heart between us. I had no doubts that He wasn't, for I had what I wanted. Rebecca Eaton was mine: heart, body and soul.
"What in God's name…? Let her go!"
I heard his words and I wanted them to be a bad dream, a figment of my imagination. I refused to comply in fear that it really was a voice in my mind and I would release her without cause.
"Frederick! I said let her go!" I felt a hand clamp on my shoulder and pull me backwards. The shock of it all caused me to release the kiss and Rebecca's hands. She fell back against the railing. After taking a few deep breaths, she placed her hand to her bosom and bent over slightly as if unable to breathe properly.
I understood how she felt for I couldn't catch my breath either. I had kissed women in my life, none of them meant anything to me I have to say. But that kiss with her… it took my breath away and I had to fight to get it back. If it did nothing else, it reassured me of her feelings for me. Though she had never told me, as I said, I knew by her actions how she felt. It was not that difficult to decipher. She wouldn't have kissed me back if she hadn't wanted me to kiss her. Easy. Simple. To the point. The way love should be. But our intruder, her stupid cousin Anthony, took the beauty and the simplicity and turned it around. I could see it in his eyes what he thought was happening, and he was dead wrong.
"She brought me here," I said first before he could speak any of the ill and vile words I could see forming in his mind.