Though I didn't think so at the time, Anthony's words on the matter did cause doubt to fill my mind, not on Rebecca's love for me for that could never change, but with regard to how I had treated her. Perhaps I had been too forceful in my need to hastily show her my love. Perhaps I might have held her too tightly, though I hadn't believed so at the time. I didn't think I had scared her because she didn't appear, to me, to be scared. However, I knew it was my gentlemanly duty to tell her I was sorry. It would show her how much I cared to ask about her feelings and I knew she would appreciate it.
Therein formed my plan. Take a few moments to compose myself. Get all of the rage out of my body and then go find Rebecca. Talk to her sweetly, kindly, tell her how sorry I was, declare my love, and then live happily ever after.
Wouldn't life have ended up so much better if the next series of events had transpired in that way?
Anthony's guests were scatted around the manor, conversing, dancing, drinking. I walked through the rooms and hallways, trying to find a place to rest. I had never been in the home before and it was slightly difficult to navigate because of its size. Now, I would not have had that sort of problem, but back then I didn't know any better.
I noticed as I made my way through the hallways that gentlemen looked in my direction and then away. Always hushed whispers followed behind me. I tried not to dwell on it, but it seemed a bit odd.
Finally, I found a secluded part of the manor. It was decorated as all other parts of the house in festive reds, greens, and whites. A small table sat under an antique mirror and I stopped for a moment to catch my reflection.
And what a reflection it was!
My nose was red and rosy from being outdoors so long in the cold. My hair was messed around my head thanks to the breeze that had whipped through the gazebo. My skin was even more pale than normal. I looked an absolute mess. Definitely not a way I wanted to greet Rebecca.
I took a few moments to straighten my hair and play with the tip of my nose to try to get the redness to leave. It didn't work, so I finally gave up. Perhaps Rebecca would find it endearing that my nose matched the color of the Christmas bobbles.
I started to walk away, back to the party, and search for Rebecca when my eye caught sight of the door to my left. It was ajar, and I'm not sure why, but it caught my attention.
What happened next, I can only describe to you as a matter of fate. I wanted to leave the area and head back to the party, for I felt the anger dull within me and I believed I could see Rebecca calmly now. But on the other hand, a strange pull drew me to that door. It was as if some mystical force wanted me inside that room. I tried to walk away, but I couldn't. Curiosity, fate, God, whatever you want to call it, something kept me there. Something kept my eyes trained on that door.
I wish I had left.
No, I take that back. I am glad I stayed because if I had not, I would not have known about the betrayal until much later. I would have learned, most assuredly, but in front of everyone as they announced — oh, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. You need to know every detail, every single one, so you understand why I have to do what I have to do… so you know why you have to do what you have to do.
After looking around to make sure no one would see me — sneaking through the rooms of a host was frowned upon of course — I gently and quietly opened the door to the darkened room. I saw no one at first but heard a gasp. A female gasp.
As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I made out the shadows of not one, but two people. One tall. One short. One a gentleman. One a lady.
I could tell by their posture that I had walked in on something I shouldn't have. Instantly I said I was sorry and backed out of the room, and then, I smelled it. Lavender.
Lavender. The scent that had filled my senses when I was outside with Rebecca.
Lavender. The smell that engulfed me as I kissed her.
It filled the room with such a sweet smell.
The female gasp…
The lavender fragrance…
My mind raced in all the horrible possibilities, but none of them could be true. Why would she?
But I had to be sure.
"Miss Rebecca?" I asked tentatively, for surely it could not be her. She wouldn't be in a darkened room with another man. She wouldn't do that to me.
There was no answer, but I heard their breathing and I heard her whimper. "Rebecca, is that you? Are you hurt? Is he…. hurting you?" Because if whoever the other occupant was hurting her, I would gladly hurt him.
A lantern sprang to life, illuminating the room, and I saw a sight that will haunt me forever. Rebecca standing against the desk, for the room I had entered was, I found out after observation, a study. She stood next to the one person I never suspected.
Simon Hartwell.
Her lips were swollen and red, obviously from a forced kiss and I knew, I knew in that instant that I had to kill Simon. He'd taken advantage of her. He was going to hurt her in that vile way some men hurt a woman. The anger I had just pushed away filled me once more and there was no stopping it this time, nor did I want to stop it.