"Then how does everyone know?"
"It's a rumor. Nothing more. But it is a rumor my father believes for he is the friend of Duke Monroe. I overheard a conversation between our fathers a month ago. I heard Duke Monroe tell my father you were his son — his greatest sin."
I didn't know what to say to that, if you can imagine. Not only had I learned my true father had never wanted me, but I learned he thought of me as a sin. I was sure my birth had been quite scandalous and my true father had done everything to keep it quiet. It made sense if I wanted to think about it, which I didn't.
All my life, I had wanted, dreamed of, prayed to be in the gentry. It would have made my life so much easier, I reasoned. But when I learned it was actually true, all of my problems — none of them went away. None disappeared. In fact, it gave me more problems.
"I can't claim a title." I said matter-of-factly. I knew how the world worked. Yes, if it was true, and I believed it was, I was the son of a duke. However, a bastard son, third in line, was little more than a servant. If I confronted my father, not only would he stop being my benefactor, he could only allow me to live in his home as little more than a servant. I was no man's servant.
Letting all of this swim in my mind, I remembered Rebecca, my sweet, sweet Rebecca, behind me. I turned slowly, still not certain what to say exactly. When I saw her, she had bent down to Simon and rubbed his back to help him breathe better. She was nice like that. Always helping people she didn't love. "Rebecca," I said as my voice shook. I hated how it sounded, but I couldn't leave to compose myself. It was now or never. "Rebecca, this means nothing. Do you understand? Even if what Anthony told you is true, it matters not. I am still the same Frederick Dodsworth who professed my love to you. I'm the same man who wants to marry you. No, I don't have a title and yes, I'm a bastard child, but… it doesn't change how I feel about you. My future does not have to depend on my past, on circumstances I had no control over."
I took a few steps forward and bent down so our eyes were level. "Please, Rebecca. Please look into your heart and know what I am saying is true. Please know that I would never hurt you. I will always look out for you. I have a future. A good future. Please don't let this one thing that happened in my past keep you from me." I gently took her hand in mine, careful not to squeeze as I had her shoulders. As I looked down, I saw black and blue marks on her wrist and felt sick to my stomach. I would kill Simon for hurting her in that way. Yes, I grabbed her wrists outside, but there was no way I could have bruised her. I wouldn't have done that…
So it had to have been Simon.
I barely rubbed my thumb over her wrists, careful not to apply pressure and hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her and I never would — not like Simon Hartwell. He hurt her until the day she died and I will never forgive him for that.
"Please… Understand that I do not beg often, in fact, I don't recall any other time in my life when I begged so much, but I need you to know how much you mean to me. If you do not know it by now, I have no idea how to tell you. I love you with my whole heart, mind, and soul. I will love you until the day I die." I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles, willing her to believe me. Willing her to not care about my heritage. "Forget it all. Forget what Anthony told you. Forget what you know or think you know about me. Just feel… with your heart. Know what you know to be true. Marry me."
I waited with her hand in mine for what seemed like an eternity. The flicker of hope I had in my stomach kept burning despite the fear I had coursing through my mind.
Finally, my Rebecca brought my hand to her lips and kissed it gently, just as I had hers. I thought for a moment that she had listened to reason and she was declaring to be mine. Heavens, I wanted her to tell the world what we both knew. "Frederick," she said as she placed my hand on my lap. "What you have said means the world to me. It truly does and I am very flattered. However…"
I can't tell you how much I didn't want her to continue her sentence. I wanted to live in the happy bliss of not knowing. I felt as though my heart would shatter in a million pieces and I would never recover. She hesitated before she spoke again. "However, I must marry for the right reasons."
I stuttered a bit, trying to find the right words. "The right reasons? What more right reason is there to marry someone besides love?"