We’re not going to get married Cara. I want to explain why, so that when I die, you don’t hate me. I can’t leave this earth knowing that when I die, your future would die along with me. You’d be married to my spirit and to our past. You’d never look to fulfill your future. You wouldn’t remarry and have a family. You’d be alone, clinging to the past. You’d sit by my head stone and talk to me as if I was standing in front of you. Time would stand still for you and before you know it you’d be old and gray just waiting to be in the plot beside me. There would be no children and there would be no stories to tell your grandchildren. Don’t shake your head, I can picture you shaking your head and crying right now as you read this. Stop it. You know I’m right. I’m always right. Guess what I’m doing right now as I write this? I’m wiggling my eyebrows, because you know I’m right.
Seriously babe, I don’t want that for you. I want you to live your life. Go get married, have some kids, name one of them Jake. I’ll watch over them just like I’ll always watch over you. When your husband accidentally electrocutes himself hanging Christmas lights, know I’m even looking out for that son of a bitch too. Know that I’m happy that he’s giving my girl a chance at a good life. You’ll always be my girl, lucky for him; my mom taught me how to share.
Maybe you’ll never read these letters, but I have to write them anyway. I want to be there for you, when I know you’ll need me the most. Just always know I love you.
Love Always & Forever Yours,
Jake
“Mom?” Ava said, poking her head into the garage. “Did you find the cord?”
Cara lifted her head, closing the book, carefully placing it back inside the box. “No.” She shook her head and placed her hands on her hips looking around the garage. “I have no idea where else it can be.”
“Well, I’ll just let you break the news to dad. I’m going to go see if Grandpa Jimmy has loosened his hold on the baby yet.”
Cara laughed slightly watching Ava disappear back into the house. She sighed and zipped her coat up before braving the cold. She walked around to the front of the house, finding her husband standing high on a ladder, two stories up hanging icicle lights from the gutters.
Luke noticed one of the twinkling lights was out, reaching into his pocket, he grabbed a replacement bulb. With one hand holding the ladder and the other holding the new bulb, he leaned forward and tried to pull the bad bulb out with his teeth, probably not the smartest idea, considering the tingling sensation that vibrated through his teeth. He dropped the replacement bulb and gripped the ladder with both hands, spitting out the bad bulb.
“Son of a bitch!” He hollered.
“Stud Muffin?” Cara called up to her husband. “Everything okay up there?”
“Everything’s fine.” He called down before mumbling. “I’m pretty sure I just electrocuted myself.”
“Why don’t you call it a night? I can’t find the other cord anyway. We’ll go to the hardware store tomorrow and get another one. Tomorrow is another day.” She pleaded.
Luke sighed, glancing down at his wife who looked small standing beside the ladder. “Alright, I’m coming down.” He resigned. Cara was right, he could finish tomorrow, and he would. Come hell or high water his son was going to have the best first Christmas a baby could have. It didn’t matter, he’d never remember it, that’s why he bought Ava a professional camera. She had taken an interest in pictures and he planned on documenting the entire month of December through her eyes.
He climbed down the ladder, turning around to face his wife. “Where are the kids?”
“Inside with my dad and Nancy,” She said wrapping her arms around his neck. She stood on her tip toes to reach his lips with her own. “You’re doing a great job.” She said, pulling back from the kiss. She nodded towards the house. “It’s already the best decorated house on our block.”
“Babe, it’s the only decorated house on our block.” Luke said with a frown.
“See? I told you it was the best.” She said with a laugh, taking his hand in hers and dragging him towards the front door of their half-lit house. “Come on, I’ll give you a massage.” She said seductively.
Luke’s eyes lit up as he watched his wife’s hips sashay as she walked into the house. That ass of hers did him in, every time. She looked over her shoulder, catching him in the act, she laughed.
“See something you like?” She teased.
He lifted his heated gaze to hers. “What do you think?” He said gruffly as he kicked the door closed with his foot and wrapped his arms around her waist. He bent his head and nuzzled her neck.
A little cry sounded and Ava came into the foyer holding her baby brother. “I think he’s hungry.” She said.
“I changed his diaper.” Jimmy said from the entry way of the living room.
“You changed his diaper?” Nancy asked incredulously.
“Ava helped me.” Jim said smugly.
Cara laughed and reached out for her baby boy. Luke dropped his hands from Cara’s waist and stepped around her.
“Let me…” he said, taking his son from his daughter’s arms. “Come here, Jake… you want your daddy don’t you?” He said soothingly as he lifted his son to rest against his chest. Baby Jake’s cries tapered off as he nestled against his father’s chest. His eyes found Cara’s and he watched a smile spread across her face.
“When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” ~William Shakespeare
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