Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

With Raven away from me, my mind wandered to my mother. I realized I never asked if she was happy with Ted. All those years after they got together and I was on my own, I would see her a few times a week. We’d talk about things, but I never thought to ask if she was really happy with him. Did she stay because she loved him and their life together? Or did she have no choice?

I never saw any unhappiness on her face, but my mom wore a mask all of those years I was growing up. She never showed her loneliness or disappointment at life. She looked happy then too. Now, I would never know if she was truly happy the last decade with Ted.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains began to play as Raven appeared from the bedroom. She wiggled her butt for me as one strap on her pink babydoll slid off an even pinker shoulder. Sitting on the couch, I admired her swinging hips and the coy smile she gave me as the second strap came off.

As beautiful as she looked, I felt a growing anger in my gut. By the time she flashed a nipple at me, I was pissed. Raven didn’t notice right away. Dancing for me, she moved closer and closer sliding across my lap.

How many men saw this dance? How many got hard looking at her perfect tits and those perky nipples? Did they stick cash in her panties? Did they feel her against their cocks like I did right then? The fuckers were out there, knowing her body in a way only I should know it.

“Why are you breathing like that?” she asked as her ass stopped wiggling on my lap. “You sound like an angry dog or maybe like you need to puke.”

“Just thinking about all the guys who got off like you’re getting me off now.”

Raven’s eyes narrowed. “What about all those girls who felt your hard cock pressed up against their butt like you’re pressed it against me? Should I start breathing weird over them?”

Even unsure why I was so angry, the rage ate me up. Raven was mine and no one should know her like I did. I wanted to hunt every guy down and kill them. Only then, could I really claim her.

“Idiot,” she muttered, pulling up the straps. “The slut is calling me a slut.”

“Good thing your skin is so tender or I’d smack your ass and fuck you until you can’t stand. I’d make sure you’d remember no one but me.”

“Bring it, bitch,” she hissed, leaning forward with her hands on my shoulders. “I’m not scared of you and your jealous crap. Loser weenie dipshit.”

Glaring at her, I took hold of the babydoll and planned to tear it off of her. The material was soft though, just like Raven. Even with her snarling at me, I knew she was in pain from the sunburn. Restraining my urge to lose control, I let go of the babydoll. We glared at one another until the phone rang. In that moment, all of my anger shifted into cold dread at hearing the news from Tucson.

Before I reached it, Raven grabbed the phone and answered.

“Hello,” she said, running away from me.

Based on her expression, I knew Caleb was on the other line.

Her jaw clenched and eyes darkened. “He’s not available. What do you want?”

After a moment, her gaze hardened even more. “I’m his secretary. Tell me what you want and I’ll pass the message along.”

Raven’s gaze met mine as she listened to Caleb. After a minute, she grunted and hung up. We stared at one another for a long time. Her irritated gaze slowly shifted into a softer, sadder expression.

“I’m sorry I called you a loser weenie dipshit.”

“She’s gone,” I said, letting the idea swirl in my head. “What did he say exactly?”

“She passed away a few minutes before he called.”

Standing up, I walked to where Raven stood looking brokenhearted. I hugged her against me and caressed her hair.

“What else did he say?”

Raven nuzzled my chest then forced out the words she didn’t want me to hear. “He said her funeral will be in two days. If you come to Tucson, they’ll let you say goodbye before they kill you.”

I was relieved to have Raven with me. If I’d been on my own, I would consider going to Tucson. I would consider all sorts of stupid shit, but she needed me. As her big blue eyes watched me, I saw how much she needed me to stay.

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered.

“I never told her goodbye. I tried to get hold of her all these years, but Ted wouldn’t let us talk.”

“I’m sure it was because she would say she loved you and didn’t want you to come back. She was probably proud of you for saving Harlow.”

Just hearing that name tensed me. “What do you know about Harlow?”

“Bailey said you showed up here with her and that you’d saved her. She didn’t know anything else.”

Nodding again, I exhaled unsteadily. “I fucked up that night. If I had done things different, I wouldn’t be a marked man. Harlow would be safe. I could have said goodbye to my mom. I’m no hero, Raven. I fucked up and caused all my problems.”