Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

“I hold her life in my hands. I fuck up and it’s not just me that pays. My mom can live without me. She survives without Waylon in her life. She could go on if I was dead or wronged her. Tawny’s not Mom.”


“She’s a tough broad. Tawny, I mean. Not that I think you should go blazing into Tucson and handle my issues, but Tawny isn’t the lost little girl she once was.”

When Judd said nothing, I dodged the incoming pitch to walk to the gate. “What?” I asked when he just stared at his hands.

“She’s still doing therapy and can go by herself now. She’s stronger in a million little ways, but I see this look on her face sometimes. I see that and I know. She’s not with me in Ellsberg. Her mind is back in the dark place and I feel her slipping away. Even with the meds and the shrink, my angel needs me to keep her strong. For me, it’s a burden, but one I can’t live without.”

Normally, I would tell Judd that he was whipped and mock his lack of balls. Not this time. The look on his face wasn’t one I saw often. In that moment, I knew his angel held his life in her hands too. They only existed together and were useless apart.

Out loud, I’d say they were idiots. Truth be told, I envied them. I wanted a woman for real. I wanted a specific woman, but I didn’t have a right to her. Raven needed a man who gave her hope. A man she could trust and I wasn’t that guy.

“Fuck,” I said, leaving Judd to sulk. “If I don’t go there to kill them, they’ll come here to kill me. Doesn’t make sense to spill blood in Ellsberg.”

“Leave it to Cooper,” Judd said quietly, his voice barely audible over the noise around us. “For a little while longer anyway.”

“Not much longer. There are too many people here I need to protect.”

Raven remained in my thoughts as we finished up at the cages. After Judd left to pick up Tawny from Farah’s house, I drove around town without a destination. Eventually, I stopped at the parking lot outside Big Bob’s Skating Center.

Inside, Raven was training with her roller derby team. As much as I wanted to watch her, I remained outside. I thought about her husky voice and the way she smiled for me. The chick was tough. Thunderdome, roller derby, taking a shot at those assholes, she could handle a guy with my giant ego problems.

Parked behind a van, I had enough cover to watch Raven leave the practice. Her blonde hair was tied up into a messy ponytail and she wore another tank top and shorts. Casually sexy, Raven was perfect. If I ever got the Devils thing dealt with, I was making her mine. At the very least, I was taking my stalking to the next level.





Chapter Fifteen - Raven


Even with the air conditioning on full blast, I was overheated and cranky. A long day in the sun with Bailey and Sawyer left them tanned and me crispy. Once I woke up from a nap to find my skin the shade of tomato, they babied me as much as possible. I’d relaxed in the hot tub while they coated my red face with lotion. As the moon appeared, I stumbled upstairs to pout alone.

Staring at the TV, I wanted a cigarette. I wanted to call Lark and whine. I wanted to get Vaughn drunk and take advantage of him. This last image made me laugh. Even if I could maneuver his drunk ass up the stairs and into my bed, I was too sunburned to have him touch me.

Hours later when I heard a knock at the door, I barely mustered up the strength to answer. Through the small front window, I found Vaughn leaning against the railing outside the apartment. He wore a wife beater and tight jeans that clung to his hard body. He clearly hadn’t shaved in days, looking rough and sexy as hell. In the light of the moon, I saw his wolf tats and imagined his warm skin under my touch.

Opening the door, I stepped out then closed it behind me. “Stop by for a booty call?”

Vaughn’s miserable expression made me want to hug the jackass. Despite my urge to comfort him, I was angry that he ignored me for over a week then showed up looking to bang.

“I need to talk to you,” he said in a pained voice.

“What about?”

“Remember the friends with benefits thing? I need you to be the friend part now.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Can we go inside?”

“No.”

“Why?” he asked as the muscles in his jaw twitched. “You got a fucking guy in there?”

“Yeah and I’m not looking to do a three-way. Now, fuck off.”

“You sure moved on quick.”

“Oh, you haven’t fucked anyone since you ditched me?”

Vaughn shrugged. “A few chicks, but they didn’t count. Besides, I used plenty of Purell.”

“Eat shit, Vaughn. You have other friends. Go hassle them.”

“I can’t talk to them about this,” Vaughn said and the tone of his voice startled me. “They would just say who gives a shit. They would give me the guy response and I need something else.”

“Look, I’m busy,” I said, struggling to tell him no.

Vaughn stared at me and I saw such pain in his eyes. “My mom is dying, Raven. I need you to tell me what to do.”

Seeing Vaughn so vulnerable, like a kid rather than a man, I felt like someone punched me in the gut. Any strength I felt against him disappeared.