Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

“He’s nice. That’s all he’s ever been to me. He helped me study. He talked to me about teaching. It was never anything more.”


“Fuck that. I see the way he looks at you. I see how you two are always together. He wants you. Why do you think it got out of hand last night? I told him to stay away from you and he mouthed off. He didn’t back down because he wants you. He said you’re too good for me. What the fuck? He doesn’t know me or you. He’s an asshole and he brought the beating on himself.”

Stepping away from Cooper, I remembered when he punched the wall next to my face. How he used his size, strength, and threats of violence to intimidate others into doing whatever he wanted. Usually he saw nothing wrong with it, but he had been freaked out the night before. Even now, I saw fear in his eyes.

“Do you think I’m a whore?” I asked.

Cooper stepped back and shook his head. “This isn’t about you.”

“You think I’d cheat on you? That I’m not loyal?”

“I said it’s not about you.”

“If Nick wants me and I don’t want him, why would you care? You said lots of guys think I’m hot. Are you going to beat them all up even though I only want you?”

“Look,” Cooper said, breathing too fast, “things got out of hand. He mouthed off then he didn’t just take the punch and stay down. He had to prove some shit, but there was no way he could win. He should have fucking stayed down, but he didn’t. He challenged me like he was saying he was taking you away.”

“But I don’t want him,” I said between clenched teeth. “I did in the beginning because he was nice and you were scary. Now, I love you and I shared those private things with you, but you act like I’m a slut who isn’t loyal. Like I’ll spread for someone else when I have you. That’s how you see me.”

“No,” he pleaded, taking my hands. “I saw him with you yesterday and he’s always looking at you. I’d see him on campus with his friends. If we’d walk by, he looked at you. He’s always staring. Even at the fucking fair, it’s like he’s stalking you. I wanted him to back off.”

“He’s not stalking me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “He barely talks to me. I usually talk to him first and he never makes any moves. He might think I’m hot, but so what? Every girl thinks you’re hot. They always check you out, but I don’t hunt them down and put them in the hospital for looking at my guy. I’m not a psycho, but maybe you are.”

“Farah, please. I messed up, but he made it worse.”

“You started it. You went after him then things got out of hand. You had no reason to even talk to him though. I love you and I’m loyal. I would never cheat so you shouldn’t have cared about Nick. You’re weird about him.”

Cooper ran his hands over his short hair and looked at me with mournful eyes. “That night at the party, you looked at him one way and me another. You felt something for him and you didn’t feel it for me. I know he means something to you, so don’t act innocent.”

“So now I am a whore you have to worry about?”

“No, but I know he’s not just any guy.”

“He’s nice and I wanted nice. You’re not nice.”

“Fuck that. I take care of you. I love you and he doesn’t do shit.”

“What is it that you thought would happen if you didn’t threaten him?”

“I thought he’d find a way to take you from me.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. I guess, he’d be nice,” Cooper sneered, trying to be angry, but looking as panicked as the night before. “You belong with me.”

“You hurt an innocent person, just for being nice to me. I’ve shared so much with you and taken down all those walls and it wasn’t enough. You still don’t trust me.”

“It’s him I don’t trust.”

“But he couldn’t fuck me unless I let him!” I yelled, losing my temper as we talked in circles.

“Fine, I’m sorry if it seems like I didn’t trust you, but it wasn’t about you. It was about him.”

“You’re still an asshole,” I said, walking away.

Cooper followed behind me. “Yes, but I’m your asshole. You need me like I need you. I wasn’t kidding last night about that. I can’t breathe without you, Farah.”

I kept walking even though I had no idea where I was going. My class was the other direction. My apartment was the other direction too. I was just walking to walk. Cooper followed me silently for a few minutes then placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll apologize to him,” he said, forcing me to stop and look at him. “I’ll pay his hospital bills and fix things. Is that what you want?”

“I want you to trust me so people like Nick don’t get hurt.”

“I do trust you.”

“Not really.”

Cooper flexed his hands and I saw how raw and bruised his knuckles were. The thought of them pounding on Nick broke my heart. Those same hands could be so gentle with me that I’d let myself forget what Cooper was capable of when pushed. Even if he was the one who pushed himself into feeling like violence was necessary.

“I need space,” I said quietly.