I smile at her. “I’m actually glad he’s at golf most weekends. It means I don’t have to deal with him,” I admit.
“If you feel like that, why the fuck are you trying for a baby with him? Why the fuck did you marry him in the first place for that matter?” I look at her for a few seconds, debating whether I should tell her the truth. Before I can answer, she surprises me by asking, “Do you love him, Neen? Can you see yourself raising a family and growing old with him?” My eyes meet hers for a long moment. “I’ve seen Nina Matthews in love. I remember how you used to look at Conner and I’ve seen the way you look at Marcus and they don’t compare, babe.”
“Soph, I was fifteen and stupid.”
“No Nina, you were fifteen and in love. Now you’re thirty-one and most definitely not in love.” She drains her glass. “D’ya have more wine? Please tell me you have more wine?” I nod and go to get up. “Nah, you stay here, I’ll fetch it. Stay here and think about your answer. I’ve wondered for years why you married Marcus Newman. I was shocked that you ever even agreed to go out with him, let alone decided to marry him. I’m your best friend Neen, I’m sick of being bullshitted to. I want you to be honest with me.” She’s standing in front of me now with her hands on her hips. “Now, where’s the wine?”
“Fridge in the utility room.” I flick my wrist and point my finger in the general direction of where the wine can be found.
I look over at the television, the banner along the bottom is just repeating the facts that they know. “Body found in hotel room being shared by Conner Reed and Jet Harrison. Press conference to be held at three p.m. local time.”
It’s just gone six-thirty here. In less than two hours, I could quite possibly be facing the fact that the man I’ve thought about on a daily basis since I just turned fifteen might be dead. World famous rock star, Conner Reed, the boy I gave my virginity to, might actually be dead.
“So, come on. No bullshitting me.” Sophie passes the glass of wine she’s just poured me. We both curl our legs underneath us and sit in the corners of the sofa, facing each other.
“Neen, I know, I was there that day but we’ve never really spoken about it over the years. I’ve always assumed it was just too painful for you, so I’ve left well alone.” She looks over my face and I can see her eyes shine with unshed tears.
“Please be honest with me. I’m your bestie. We’re supposed to share shit, but I’ve always felt like I was missing something about that night… about you marrying Marcus. There’s some part of the story I don’t know about.”
I hear Duchess whine from outside the patio doors and turn to see her sitting there, her sad eyes watching us through the glass.
“I need to feed, Duch.”
“No you don’t.” Sophie stares at me, unwavering.
“Yeah, I do and when I come back, I’ll tell you everything.”
I settle myself back down into my corner of the sofa, wine in hand. I take a sip, despite the fact that I already feel quite pissed and know that I should really stop.
Sophie has turned the sound back up on the television, but it’s just going over the earlier reports and showing the room where the press conference will be held. I feel sick to my stomach. I know I shouldn’t, I’m a married woman and it was all a very long time ago but for me, Conner Reed was it. He was the one, but I rarely let myself admit that.
Soph mutes the telly and turns her gaze back to me.
“Are you still in love with Conner Reed?”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Despite the wine I’ve consumed, my mouth is unnaturally dry again and I run my tongue over my teeth before I speak.
“That night, that New Year’s Eve, Conner and I were leaving.” She frowns and tilts her head to one side.
“Leaving?” I sip my wine and nod my head. “Leaving where?”
“Here, leaving town,” I reply.
Her shoulders slump and she looks all over my face for a few seconds.
“You mean like, running away?” she shakes her head as she speaks. Like that couldn’t possibly be what I meant.
“Exactly like running away,” I tell her, not breaking eye contact as I speak. Her face crumbles as she looks down into her wine glass.
“And you didn’t tell me? You weren’t going to tell me, were you? You were just going to leave and not say a word.”
My heart pounds hard in my chest and my face burns at my admission. “We were going to contact you later, once all the fuss had died down.”
We’re both quiet for a few seconds. I need to explain this properly so that she understands.
“We didn’t want to put you and Josh in a position where you would’ve had to lie for us so we didn’t tell either of you.”
Sophie has a tear on her cheek as she looks up at me.