"Caleb, earlier...you said that picture was Brett's prize possession."
"Yeah, it is," he answers quickly. "He thinks he's being sly and no one can see him sliding it from under his keyboard two hundred times a day, but we're all just so fucking happy for him that we don't call him out on it."
"I told him I love him," I confess. Caleb may be Brett's best friend, but he's safe. He won't share my secrets. But hopefully he will share some of Brett's.
"Really! How did he react to that?" Caleb says shocked.
"He doesn't exactly feel the same way," I shrug, pretending it doesn't break my heart every time I think about it.
"Give him some time. He's a good guy."
"So everyone keeps telling me."
"Do you need a Brett pep talk?" he teases, expecting me to punch him in the arm again.
"Maybe," I squeak out honestly.
"Jesus..." He looks around to make sure no one is listening. Whenever someone does that, you know it's always good information they are about to share.
"He hasn't seen Sarah in over three weeks."
"WHAT?!" I shriek. He disappears every Thursday. I just assumed he would be with her.
"For the last few weeks we have been meeting for drinks."
"Why isn't he seeing Sarah?"
"She froze him out. Won't open the door. He's been sending over caretakers who she surprisingly lets in, so he knows she's okay. She just doesn't want to see him."
"Well that's good she is letting someone in," I say relieved. Why should I care about her? Oh that's right, because Brett loves her, or loved her, or... heck, I don't know. I've never bothered to actually ask.
"Baby girl, I don't want to fill your head with false reassurance. Sure, he and I talk, but I'm not in his head. I've seen him through a lot of stuff, but this thing with you two is new territory for us. Did he ever tell you about how we became friends again?”
"Again? I had no idea you two were ever not friends."
"We exchanged a few punches at Manda's funeral." At the very mention of her name Caleb pauses for a second too long. I don't rush him, but I recognize this isn't a conversation we should have in the checkout line of Al's Sporting Goods. I hold up my finger asking for one minute, and hurry to the register to pay.
When we get back to his truck, I turn to him and see sad eyes. I know I'm asking him to relive something tragic, but I need help. Caleb is my only connection to Brett.
"Okay, now keep going."
He lets out a loud breath, then bares it all.
"Blows were thrown at Manda's funeral. It was the hardest day of my life, and I used Brett as my punching bag. Physically and emotionally. The love of my life was gone, while Sarah sat sipping soda in a hospital across town. I lost everything, and fucking Brett escaped with only a few scratches. Sarah caused that wreck. She was drunk and decided to drive my girl home. She killed her because she was too damn lazy to wait for me and Brett, or even just call a cab. I'll never in a million years forgive her. I know she's all fucked up now, but part of me thinks she deserves it. Brett doesn't deserve this though, and he's gotten the brunt of her issues.
"Anyway, after words were exchanged at the funeral, we didn't speak for seven months. I took a leave of absence at work, and put in for a different partner when I came back. I managed to avoid him completely. I stood by as Sarah tried to kill herself twice. I almost enjoyed watching both of them suffer. God knows I suffered enough. It was time for someone else to have a turn. I'm a dick, you got that part, right?" I nod quickly, not wanting to slow him down. When Caleb starts talking you stop and listen. He may not do it often, but it always leads you somewhere.
"I was driving home that night when I heard his address over the radio. Dispatch was asking for immediate assistance. I was only a few blocks away, and as much as I didn't want to go, something inside of me turned the car and headed towards his house.
“I was the first on the scene. The ambulance hadn't even gotten there yet. I rushed inside and found him holding her lifeless body on the bathroom floor. You know what he said to me?" I can't hold back my tears. "He looked directly into my eyes, and stood up off the ground with her in his arms, and said the words that have haunted me since they rolled off his tongue, ‘Please help me. I won't survive without her.’ I understood that feeling. The desperation in his voice reminded me of how I felt when they told me Manda was gone. I would have done anything to save Manda. While I hated Sarah, Brett's my brother, I'd do anything to save him.