His smile warms the cold fear in my gut. Once again, he's the Pax I know and love. The guy who laughs at farts and rolls around on the ground with his dog. The guy who opened his home and heart to my little girl and me.
My Pax shakes off the darkness of yesterday and embraces the possibilities of tomorrow.
51
Pax
Guilty Heart
Before the hospital discharges Tallulah, I walk to the other side of the building to the intensive care unit. Lucky stands when I open the door. Based on his speed, if I was a threat, he'd have put a bullet in me. A moment passes before the tension leaves him and he returns to his chair.
I walk to the bed and look at Jenn. All the machines beep steadily, and I tell myself that's a good thing. Lies feel good these days, but Lucky isn't in the position to bullshit himself.
"How bad is it?" I ask, cutting through the crap.
"She's breathing on her own."
"Has she woken up?"
"A little, but I don't think she understands what's happened."
I glance at Lucky. "Do you need anything?"
"No. The kids are coming back to town. Lupe is bringing them to the hospital tonight," Lucky says, grimacing at the coffee he drinks. "Isn't your kid going home today?"
"Yeah. They're finishing up the paperwork now."
"You be careful out there. I worry about any Trigger supporters still hanging around."
"I know, but unless they're suicidal, there's no reason to make a move now. What's done is done, and there's no bringing back yesterday."
"I suppose. Makes me nervous though, especially having Ryder running around alive."
"Ginger's people escorted the little fuck and his mom out Little Memphis. They'll keep an eye on Ryder for a while to make sure he gets settled."
"He could come back."
"Madden thinks his brother likes living too much to come back. That might change one day, but the kid and his mom have the money to start over. Trigger had money stashed everywhere. Madden gave a good chunk to his brother. Let's hope Ryder finds a girl and falls in love so he has a reason to want to keep living."
"Yeah, love'll change a man in all kinds of ways."
My mind goes to Bebe and her limping towards me this morning. Even exhausted and banged up, she was too fucking beautiful. I ache to feel her under me soon. I miss her in my arms, but I'll need to keep on missing her until Tallulah is home and comfortable.
Lucky doesn't want to talk or do anything that'll distract from staring at his woman. I leave him and return to the kids' side of the hospital. By the time I arrive, Tallulah is dressed to go. She's still sporting a bandage on her forehead and a cast on her arm. Otherwise, she's the same little girl I said goodbye to yesterday morning.
Bebe sits in the backseat of the SUV with Tallulah. Earlier in the day, Ford and Shay picked up Folgers and called the maid to clean up whatever needed cleaning. We arrive home to a house smelling of Pine Sol rather than our dog locked in house for eighteen hours.
Tallulah is very concerned about Folgers but settles down once I turn on the Christmas lights. Bebe limps around the house, getting herself organized. First, she takes a shower. Then she shuffles around making sandwiches. Finally, Tallulah crashes from the pain meds, and I can get Bebe alone.
Her eyes are tired, and her body needs rest. I can't stop myself from taking her in my arms and carrying her downstairs. Bebe says nothing while I walk. Her lips nuzzle my neck, but I notice her grimace when I rest her on the bed.
Yanking off my shirt, I kneel before her and press her hands on my chest.
"I need you to touch me so I know this is real. I still feel like I'm at the mall, but I never find you and Tallulah."
Bebe cups my face. "We're safe, and you killed the fuckers who hurt us."
My thoughts return to Zombie. When I couldn't shake that he might still be alive, Ford and I did go back to look for his body. We only found his boot with his foot and a rat inside. No doubt there was more of him nearby, but that was all I needed to see.
I know he's dead. I saw Trigger take his last breath too. Those men are no longer threats, but I can't shake the pain in my chest.
Kissing Bebe, I try to relax in the sweet flavor of her lips. She melts in my arms as I lean her back on the bed. Her sweatpants slide off. Then I remove the rest of her clothes. Once I have Bebe naked, I see the ugly bruises streaking from her left thigh to her waist.
Overwhelmed, I sit on the bed and hold my head. Even with her warm body spread out for me, I'm back at the mall.
"I'm why Zombie shot up the mall. He went after you and Tallulah because I pissed him off."
"He was a freak. You didn't make him do anything," she whispers, running her fingers down my back.
"I challenged him."
"He was a sick fuck."