Ford sighs deeply at this question. "I was worrying about that too when the boys moved in with us. Lucky said there are things people can't be, no matter how much they might want to. Things like being a super model or a rocket scientist. We can't choose to look a certain way or be super smart. We can choose other things. He said if I decide to be a good dad then I just had to be one. There's no magic or instructions involved. I would take care of them and keep them safe or I wouldn't. I'd love them or I wouldn't. Being a dad is like being a husband. You choose to be a good one then just be one. It'll be the same for you."
"I love that little girl, but I'm gonna kill her real dad."
"You're gonna kill the sperm donor she's lucky not to know."
"I'm afraid she'll grow up and hate me."
Ford snorts. "She'll be a teenager one day, so yeah, she'll hate you. We hated Marcy, and she let us run the streets."
"This is fucking beautiful," Zombie mumbles through broken teeth, "but I suspect your little princess will be raped and killed by a guy like me before she hits twelve."
His words send me into a rage, and I nearly crack his skull. Just before the bat reaches his head, I stop myself.
"Fuck," I growl. "You aren't dying that quick, asshole."
Zombie laughs even though his body is a mess of broken bones.
"How long before the rats get him?" I ask Ford as we drag him deeper into the dark tunnel.
"I'd say an hour, but the rats don't fuck around. Hell, they'd eat us if we stayed in here for too long."
"I won't beg," Zombie mumbles.
"Wouldn't mean shit if you did."
"I was aiming for your cunt woman, but she ran into a fucking car and went airborne. After that, I couldn't find her. You got lucky, but someone will put a bullet in her face one day."
Swallowing my rage, I walk farther into the tunnel where the rats rule.
"Your name is what gave me the idea of having you eaten alive. That and my cunt woman wanted you to suffer before you died."
"She sounds lovely."
Loud squeaking in the darkness convinces Ford and me to stop. We drop Zombie on the ground then step back. The only light is from our flashlight, and the darkness feels oppressive. If I were the fucker waiting to die, I'd honestly piss myself. Rats are nasty.
"Why Maggie?" Ford asks Zombie.
"Sharpie hid his sister, and Maggie looked close enough."
I roll my eyes. "The world is gonna miss you, Zombie. They'll weep at your passing and speak of you for years. Well, that, or they'll forget you existed by next week."
Swinging the bat, I get one last shot and hear his balls crunch. Ford shudders. Ball violence always turns him into a wuss.
We walk out of the tunnel, hearing sounds from Zombie. He cusses, and I think maybe tries to move. When he can't, he cusses more. By the time we're at the entrance, Zombie is yelling for the rats to get off him.
"Maybe we should wait to make sure he's dead," I suggest.
Ford balks. "Are you going back in to check?"
"No, I guess not."
"Are you feeling okay?"
"No."
"The kid will be okay."
"Didn't you think they might be dead?"
Saying nothing, Ford nods. In the darkness, I see him remembering the fear when we left Maggie's house and raced to the mall.
"If they died, I don't think I'd want to live," I say. "I'm not being a drama queen. I just wouldn't see the point of living without them."
"Yeah, you're not finding another woman like Bebe or kid like Tallulah. They see you the way I do and no one else does. You'd probably be right to kill yourself if they died."
"Turd."
Ford smirks. "Hey, I was being profound."
"What does that mean?"
Laughing, Ford doesn't explain. We walk up the embankment to where the car and Harley wait.
"Let's burn this," Ford says about the car. "Then you can ride bitch back to your Harley."
I don't say anything about riding bitch until the little car is on fire. Only when Ford climbs on his Harley do I speak.
"Wait, didn't Shay fall in love with you while riding on your hog? Shit, I hope that doesn't happen to me."
"Shut up, turd."
I climb on behind him. "What if I swoon and fall off?"
Ford elbows me. "Don't try feeling me up."
"I promise nothing, asshole."
Revving the engine, Ford glances back. "Be a grown-up for the ride."
"So you don't want me using your pretty hair to wipe my nose? I mean, it's right here at nose level, and I do have allergies."
"Turd, we're still working."
"You're so nervous," I murmur, loving his irritation. "What do you think I'm going to do?"
Ford frowns, full of suspicion, remaining tense the entire ride. I don't have to say or do a thing to make him miserable. A little brother's dream comes true.
48
Bebe
Sleepwalking until Daddy Returns
Tallulah keeps watching the door, hoping Pax will return. I don't blame her. I've gnawed my lower lip raw from worrying. Shay plays cool in the chair near the door. On her lap rests a gun hidden under her jacket. She checks her phone every few minutes, yet says nothing.
"Who took the boys?" I finally ask when the silence bugs me for too long.
Shay glances up at me. "A lady I met at school. Her kid plays with Donnie, and they live a few blocks over. All I need is a short haircut and I'll officially be a soccer mom."
We share a smile. I consider pressing the subject, just so we can keep talking. Yet sensing Shay is nervous about her brothers, I let the conversation drop.
Around eight, another nurse enters the room to check on Tallulah. She's the chatty sort who wants gossip about the shooting.