"Pax might not be a man who can commit, but he'll keep you safe. The guy will burn down the world to protect those he cares about. He's loyal in that way. As roomies go, you could do worse."
I imagine Pax with another woman, and jealousy instantly burns in my gut. He's never even kissed me, yet I feel like he's already mine. Despite the grave I'm digging myself, I refuse to give up the chance for Lula to have a room of her own. Not after I spent my childhood wishing for one too.
"Darby," Joker calls out from the front door. "Are you decent?"
"As much as I'll ever be," she says, turning away from the back door.
Joker enters the kitchen, and I smile awkwardly. Even after staying with Darby for the last few months, I've never gotten comfortable around the club guys. I always feel small around them, especially their Vice President.
"Hey, Bebe," he says, taking the coffee Darby hands him. "We'll handle your problem when Ford's back in town and make sure you'll never run into them again."
"You'll deal with Lula's father too, right?" Darby asks, and Joker gives her a nod.
"Pax and Ford are good at dealing with these sorts of problems. Them and their bats."
I stop picturing Pax in various stages of undress and imagine him hurting Taz and his kiddie followers. No, hurting isn't a strong enough word for what will happen. The Reed brothers are enforcers, and I know that's just code for killers. They'll destroy Taz and everyone in his organization to make an example of someone who messes with the club.
I find this image oddly fucking reassuring.
6
Pax
I'm No Pity Fuck
Lula is a cute kid, but I can't pretend I don't hate her name. A dumb girl name doesn't belong on a smart kid like her. She likes to see the words on the TV when we watch a movie. Seems weird, but I guess that means she likes reading.
Lying on the floor, Lula holds her chin in her hands while her feet swing back and forth. She's resting next to Folgers and watching Finding Nemo. I dig the movie since it's funny for a kid's flick and there's no damn singing.
Sitting on the other end of the couch, Bebe occasionally peeks at me through her hair. I refuse to peek. Without any hinting, I check out her tits in the pink tee she's wearing. I fight the urge to lean over and smell her damp hair. No, I want to do more than sniff her. I'm not a damn dog. I want to nuzzle my face in her hair and slide my hands under her shirt and…
"Do you think we could get a tree?" she asks, waking me from my thoughts.
Lula sits up and looks at us. She's always listening even when she's not. Yeah, fooling around with Bebe ain't happening with Lula still up.
"Sure. I don't have any decorations, but that's what stores are for."
"You and Ford never get a Christmas tree?"
"No. We get up at noon on Christmas and play dodgeball with our gifts. Afterwards, we go to Denny's and eat turkey. It's a tradition that's sadly been ruined by Shay's hypnotic pussy."
Bebe frowns at my wording then focuses on Lula still looking at us.
"We'll get a tree next week," she tells the kid. "Ooh, here comes the part you like. What does Dory say?"
When Lula smiles real big, she looks exactly like Bebe. "Just keep swimming."
While the kid turns around and watches the movie, I eye Bebe. "Do you get a tree every year?"
"Not a big tree. Last year, we got a little tree for like ten dollars."
"Were you always poor?"
Bebe shrugs. "There was a time when Mom got us into a tiny apartment in a nice area. We went to a good school, but someone ratted us out since we were three people in a studio. We got kicked out and ended up in a decent townhouse in a bad neighborhood. That lasted for a while. So I was poor, but not like I am now."
"You need a better job."
"Darby was talking about getting me a job waitressing at the Suede."
"No," I say instantly.
Frowning at me, Bebe keeps talking. "I tried waitressing once, and I wasn't very good at it. Got flustered, but the money would be better. Darby said she would watch Lula while I work, but…"
"No."
"Why? Do you not want me in your special place?" she teases.
"The chicks working there are sluts. They make good tips because they suck off guys in the back…"
Bebe smacks me and points at Lula. The kid isn't paying attention to us for once. She's now sitting cross-legged about an inch from the TV.
"Yeah, you should be thinking about her. Does she want a whore mom?"
"You're a D I C K."
"My D I C K is big enough to know things, yeah."
Bebe crosses her arms so her tits jut out. I dig the view but suspect she might be playing me.
"I'd like to make more money. I only get minimum wage at the hotel, and it's not like I'll get promoted. The head housekeeper is in her forties. No way will she retire for another twenty years."
"You're living here rent free. I'd think your money will go farther."
Bebe stops propping up her tits and studies me. "What will it cost me to live here?"
"Your sanity."
"Funny," she says, grinning. "I'll help with utilities."
"No."
"So I pay for my food and personal expenses and that's it?"