"Did Sarah tell you what happened that night at Jesse’s apartment?"
"Oh for fuck’s sake. What is it with you people needing to warn me about shit? Yes. I know all about Sarah’s past. I don’t give a shit. She’s not perfect. Yeah, yeah. I get it." My frustration is palpable. I slam the door closed because Brett obviously isn’t planning to leave until he says his piece.
"Well, there are some facts you should know."
"Well, there’s a fact you should know as well. I don’t give a fuck about your facts!" I roar, but it doesn’t seem to faze him.
"Her favorite color is blue. Not just any old generic blue. She’s very specific," he rushes out oddly.
"Baby blue," I finish for him.
"For Sarah’s twenty-fifth birthday, I ordered her a custom Walther P22 with a baby-blue grip. It was ridiculous and I paid a fortune for it. She was never big on guns, so she was pissed when I bought her one. She didn’t speak to me for a week. But I was a rookie back then and worked a lot of nights while trying to work my way up to detective. I saw all the crime that happened while on patrol, and it killed me that she was always alone. I just wanted to know she was safe. So I ordered this gun, started taking her to the range, and taught her how to shoot. She was hesitant at first, until I made it a competition on who could hit the most targets. You know Sarah—she’s so fucking competitive." He pauses to quietly laugh.
I nod in agreement. That is one thing I definitely know about Sarah, and even though Brett is standing right in front of me, I can’t help but smile as my mind drifts back to that first night when she dropped her dress in my kitchen.
"Anyway, she got good—like, really good. We spent at least one night a week at the range for years." He smiles and it annoys me.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I’m fucking jealous of his time spent with Sarah. I should have been the one to spend seven years with her. Not fucking months. But I guess Brett should understand how I'm feeling. He somehow survived losing her. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from him.
Or I could continue to be a jealous dick.
"Is this going somewhere?"
"I’m getting there. So, that night, at Jesse’s apartment… Sarah pulled the trigger only inches away from me, yet she somehow managed to miss. Sure, she may have been a bit rusty after four years, but a toddler could have hit me at that range."
"Wait. You don’t think she tried to shoot you?"
"Nope. Now listen, the only reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to understand I don’t hate Sarah. I just personally can’t deal with her. Every time I see her or think about her, I turn into a brand of asshole that would give Caleb a run for his money. I remember the way it felt when I thought she had hurt Jesse. I’ll never be able to get over that. But I’m not here to fill your head with a bunch of bullshit about what a terrible person she is. Sarah’s just broken."
"Was," I quickly correct him. "She was broken. She’s not anymore."
"Right. Well, then, what was all that shit when I first got here then? You planning a party and just happened to need Emma’s and Caleb’s number?"
"No. I fucked up. Not Sarah," I snap. "But that’s—"
"None of my business." He waves me off. "Look, I saw Sarah with you last week at the restaurant. The way you kept her together… I have no idea what the hell you said to her, but it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. After the wreck, I wasn’t able to do that for her. I’ve never seen anyone affect Sarah like that, actually."
"The truth. I told her the truth. Sarah doesn’t believe it herself, but up until a few days ago, she believed me." I drop my head and pinch the bridge of my nose.
"You cheat on her?" he asks.
My eyes fly up to his. Not that it’s any of his fucking business, but I feel compelled to answer anyway.
"Jesus Christ, no."
"Meh. Nothing that can’t be fixed then." He shrugs.
"Yeah? How’d that work out for you and Sarah? You didn’t cheat, right?" I smart back.
He crosses his arms over his chest. "I was never supposed to be with Sarah after that accident. I tried really fucking hard though, and that was ultimately my own demise. I may not know Sarah now, but I sure as hell know how to alienate her."
I laugh humorlessly. "I think I’ve got that covered. Thanks for stopping by."
"I’m here because I wanted to reach out and tell you all the ways I fucked up so you don’t make the same mistakes. It’s been seven years since that wreck, and we’ve all gotten better. Well, everyone but Sarah. She’s been stuck in this holding pattern, yet it appears you made her better…even for just a minute.
"You have to understand, Sarah was always high strung. She was wild—always the first to be dancing on the bar or fluttering around socially. It was hard for me when she changed. I tried so hard to make her the woman I remembered. And you know what it did? It drove her away."