Your love saved me.
Her words keep echoing around me, coiling around the pain that has filled my heart since she started talking.
Your love saved me.
I can feel her body shaking, and I tighten my hold so she knows that I’m still here, but I can’t speak past the lump that’s taken up residence in my throat. I always knew that she had a rough history, but never in my wildest imagination could I have pictured all of this pain she’s gone through.
It makes so much sense now. All the times she pushed me away with fear in her eyes. Every single time she would look at one of the guys and have this odd look about her as if she was waiting for one of them to go all Hulk or something.
There is so much swirling around inside of me. I want to kill that motherfucker all over again. I want to go find her father and teach him to pick on someone his own size. I want to lock her away in this house and never let anyone get close enough to so much as give her a paper cut.
Your love saved me.
All I’ve wanted since the day I felt her slipping away is to prove to her how much I love her and for her to know that I’m here for her. It kills me to know how greatly she’s suffered, but with that comes the clarity that she’s finally, fucking finally, on the same page with me.
I squeeze her tighter into my body when I feel her sobbing get harder. It finally hits me that I haven’t said a word since she finished talking. I have to work at swallowing my own sorrow. I wipe the tears from my face and clear my throat a few times until I feel confident that I can talk without breaking down.
“Baby, look at me. Please, look at me.”
She shakes her head and burrows deeper into my body.
“Come on, where’s my wildcat?” I soften my voice, rub her back, and kiss her over and over. I’m begging silently for her to just look at me, to see the all the understanding and love that she needs from me right now. So she will see that I’m here and will never leave. “Dee, I’m begging you, please, look at me. See me. Let my love in. Please, Baby.”
She has her mouth pressed into my shoulder, so when she speaks, I can’t understand her. She is still crying, but at least her body has stopped heaving violently. “Say it again. I can’t understand you.”
She lifts her head and her tear filled puffy, red eyes just stare at me. I smile at her, letting her know that it’s all going to be fine, and she lets out a shaky breath. She closes her eyes for a few seconds, but when she opens them, and I can see, not only the old Dee that I’ve missed with extreme longing, shining back at me, but I can also see all of that love that she’s been running from. It’s staring brightly back at me, and even with her swollen eyes and splotchy face, I’ve never seen her look more beautiful.
“Oh, Baby. I love you so much.”
Her breath hitches again at my words. It doesn’t take long before she opens her mouth, and when she finally utters the words that I’ve been dreaming of for so long, the sense of peace that hits me is nothing short of a miracle.
“I love you, too, John Beckett. I love you with all of my scarred heart.” She smiles weakly and I return it with a smile so big that my jaw hurts.
“You’re finally mine?” I ask, my smile never leaving my face.
“No…” She pauses and my heart stops. “You’re finally mine.” All of the earlier pain and sadness drains from her face, and she looks at me with her smile huge, her bloodshot eyes full of love and trust. She looks at me as if she’s a brand new woman, and I give a second of thanks that I’m lucky enough to have this woman in my life.
“Whatever works but we’re finally us.” I cup her cheek and guide my lips to hers. She tastes like her tears mixed with hope. She tastes like heaven.
“I. Love. You.” I punctuate each word with a kiss before I take her lips in a slow lazy kiss.
Her hands are running all over my chest, pulling at my shirt. When her cold hands get my shirt up and she presses against my abs, I shake with the chill that rushes through my body. She giggles and it’s like music to my ears. I break away from her mouth to pull my shirt off and then hers. She unhooks her bra and drops it to the floor. I take a second to look over every inch of her exposed skin, drinking in her tan perfection. Her nipples pebble under the attention of my eyes, and I reach up and cup each of her heavy breasts, rubbing my thumb over each nipple before pinching them lightly. Her head rolls back on her shoulders and she moans low in her throat.