“Uh, okay? You know you don’t have to be here, right? I’ll be okay by myself.” I smile, letting him know that I really will be okay, but he doesn’t move.
He just looks at me with those scary eyes, finishes the last two pieces, and washes his hands. “You might think you’re okay to be alone, but I’m still going to be here. You and Izzy do your thing, and if you need me when you’re done until Beck gets home, then I’ll be here. If not, then I’ll still be here.” And with that, he turns and makes his way through the house. I hear him settling in the living room, the TV click on, and the low sounds of some sports crap fill the air.
Well… okay then.
I set about cleaning the kitchen, trying to keep my mind clear. Izzy comes bouncing in about an hour later with a wiggling Nate on her hip, and what looks like her whole house in the bag around her shoulder.
“Hey, you!” She drops the bag and sets Nate on his feet before coming over to give me a hug. “I missed you! Beck seems to only want to keep you all to himself.”
I try to smile but the butterflies in my gut are going crazy. She notices and gives me a weak smile. I look away from her when I hear Nate’s little feet take off and the sounds of his squealing.
Oh, wow.
“Oh, wow.” She echoes my thoughts. We both stand here, staring at Maddox who has Nate up in the air, and he has the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. His whole demeanor changes right before us. The hard, unapproachable look that he normally wears is gone, and replaced with a man seriously too good looking for his own good.
“I can see why Emmy is so hung up on him,” she whispers in my direction.
“You aren’t lying.”
We both laugh and Maddox jerks his head in our direction. The carefree smile that was on his face only seconds before is now long gone. He almost looks mad that he ever let it appear in the first place.
“I’ll take Nate while you two do your chick stuff.” He takes off with a giggling Nate in his arms. I hear a door click in the distance, and know he must have gone down into the basement where Beck keeps all his workout equipment.
“So, I’m guessing that we aren’t actually eating, huh?” She lets a nervous laugh bubble out, but stops when I look at her and shake my head. “I didn’t think so. I just knew somehow that you didn’t want to catch up.”
“Come on, it’s a pretty day, so why don’t we go sit out in the sunroom?”
She grabs a water bottle out of the diaper bag and follows after me.
“Just spit it out, Dee. It’s killing me. All night, I was worried about what you wanted to talk about. I could tell by the tone in your voice that something’s going on, but I can’t figure out for the life of me what it could be.” Her green eyes look so dark when she’s worried. She’s biting on her lip and fidgeting with her hands.
I start at the beginning and tell her about my parents, the boys I used to date, and how all those relationships ended. I tell her about how I didn’t have any real friends until the day I met her. She takes it all in, nodding her head a few times here and there to let me know she’s listening. I can tell she’s getting upset when I mention how bad things had been growing up with my parents, but she kept silent.
Then I tell her everything I’ve only spoken about to Dr. Maxwell and Maddox about. I finally reveal the secrets about her ex-husband that I have held in for so long. She only lets out a few shocked gasps, her hand shooting out to hold mine when I relate how he broke into my office and beat me.
“I should have done more to get you out, Izzy. I was just so scared of what he would do. I could see it in his eyes. I don’t know how I knew, but I just did. I sat by and let him hurt you, Izzy.” When I meet her troubled gaze and see the tears in her eyes, it breaks my heart, and the tears that I have been holding back start falling freely.
“You’ve been beating yourself up this whole time, haven’t you?” I nod my head, but before I can open my mouth, she interrupts. “Brandon was a sick man, Dee. You have no idea how much it hurts to know he got his filthy hands on you, but nothing that happened during my marriage is your fault.” She’s trying to keep her emotions in check, but the tremble in her voice gives her away.
I pause for a second to get ready to finish my story, and gaze out on the beautifully landscaped backyard. I must have been silent for a while, because her whispered question makes me jump.
“What aren’t you telling me, Dee? I know you. There’s more isn’t there?” Her voice is begging me to prove her wrong.
“Yeah, there’s more.” I take another breath and look back over to see her face awash with pain. “When he finally got done using his fist he told me that if I tried to contact you in any way, that he would kill you,” I whisper on a sob. Her tears are coming quickly, and I know I have to get the rest out before she starts to cry in earnest. “And then… then he took the only thing left to take from me.”