Shock radiated from Frazer. My recollections of him came next. His eyes watching me from afar, me questioning whether he was lonely or looking for a weakness to exploit. The strange pull I’d felt toward him. And finally, the stream of consciousness slowed to a trickle. As if we’d neared the bottom of the well.
The last piece of me poured out: my fear that he might reject me—that he might resent our connection. Also, the hope and comfort it’d brought as it offered a point of light in a long history of loneliness and loss. A star in a dark sky.
I felt drained, but clear. You see? I’ve been on the outside looking in my whole life. And living in a fae kingdom didn’t change that. Meeting Cai and Liora didn’t change that. You—us, connecting like this—did. You make me feel like I belong. Except when you push me away.
He wasn’t just surprised; he was amazed.
I’ve shown you everything. I didn’t hold back. And I don’t expect you to do the same. I know that whatever’s on the other end of this thread might make my nightmares look like rainbows and sunbeams in comparison. But show me something, Frazer, because continuing to live in this silence isn’t the answer.
How is showing you my nightmares going to help me? Tell me, Serena—how?
I blinked back tears. We hadn’t known each other long. I could turn away—ignore the thread. It would hurt less. But if I left him to this silence, to rot behind that wall, I felt sure he’d go mad. Or become so twisted that he wouldn’t be worth saving.
I think it’d help if you shared whatever it is you’re carrying. I can bear the weight. But, I can’t force you to do anything. Show me, don’t show me, it’s your choice. I’ll love you, whatever you decide.
I hadn’t planned on saying it—the only man I’d uttered those words to was my father. And that had gotten harder and harder to say over the years.
Frazer couldn’t have looked more stunned if I’d shot him through the heart. The thread trembled with fear, suspicion, even horror, at my declaration. But finally, there it was—a glimmer of a joy so pure, it sent a crack running through the shield. Why?
It was clear what he meant. Why he needed me to explain. I know that our bond only got forged a few days ago, but from the moment we met, I’ve felt connected to you. And to be honest, it’s just easy to love you.
His unease urged me to clarify. I don’t mean romantic love. You’re … you’re like my brother, Frazer. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but—
My thoughts broke apart as images swamped me and enormous, feathered, indigo wings burst into my mind’s eye.
I was Frazer, standing atop a black cliff with the sun warming my wings. Peering below, seeing a churning sea with its white-capped breakers, and breathing in the deep notes of salt and brine. Giddy excitement and terror coated my tongue, but I knew in my bones—in the most primal parts of myself—I was ready.
I took a running leap. Leaving my stomach behind, I nosedived toward the rocks and the waves smashing up against them. Fear churned in my gut and then, relief: ecstasy as my wings burst open. I beat them furiously. For a few heartbeats my core failed to support me; the muscles in my shoulders cramped and my wings felt like they might rip from my back. I leveled out just in time for an updraft to take me and toss me around as easily as a bit of fluff. Eventually, I found the rhythm. Gliding in and out of clouds, chasing curtains of rain, brushing over waves, letting salt spray hit my face. This was freedom—this was everything. The parts of my mind still belonging to me ached to experience it for myself.
Sorrow slammed into me. Unending, relentless. The squalling sea and open sky vanished, replaced by a room. One of cold white stone, grand columns, gossamer and silk fabric, and a balcony that looked out onto three lakes. The water was so still, so pure and pristine, it reflected the mountains and star-spangled darkness above. A perfect portrait.
The parts that remained mine gasped in awe.
“Have you nothing to say in your defense, Frazer?”
It was a deep, imperious voice that spoke of centuries of wisdom and boredom. A huge male moved to stand in front of me—of us. A crown, decorated with a black star and a glittering silver tail, sat atop his inky hair. It served to highlight his snow-feathered wings, bloodless skin, and silvery-gray eyes. A lightning strike. A winter storm. That’s what this male was.
Frazer’s recognition shone through, telling me this was the former—and now very dead—King of Aurora, Linus Johana.
“No,” I said as Frazer.
The corner of my mind that belonged to Serena ached at hearing his voice for the first time.
“Then, you leave me with no choice.”
Linus made a small gesture and two male fae appeared at my side while six watched my back. They were strangers—that was a mercy, at least. But each had come armed to the hilt, and one held a wicked-looking fae scimitar. A curved blade that had dread pooling in the pit of my stomach.
I tucked my wings in closer to my body. “Why are you doing this?” My voice came out trembling—I hated myself for it.
“Why do you think?” he asked, as cold as the ice encasing his court. “Because if I don’t, she will, and she’ll make your pain eternal.”
“Then fight her.” A growl slipped past my restraint. I muzzled myself—this was still my king. I had to remember that.
“Morgan’s too powerful. She has an army of magic-wielders behind her,” Linus said in clipped tones. “There’s nothing to be gained from fighting when we can work with her and save fae lives.”
“You can’t work with her! She’s mad! She killed Dain—”
“Enough, Frazer,” Linus bit down, his eyes lighting with anger and a warning.
He nodded to the two unfeeling blocks of stone at my side. The males drove me to the floor, pinning my arms to each side. I stayed focused on the king—my king. “Punish me, but let me stay. I want to serve.”
“If you stay, she’ll insist on your execution.”
Linus—a male who’d given me a position, a home—now stared down like I was nothing, a nobody. “Or worse, imprison you and use your life as a stick to beat my son and heir over the head with. Our court cannot afford for Lynx to get distracted.”
“Where is he?” I couldn’t even say his name.
“The Lionheart is safe. I sent him south to the border. He’s acting as an escort to Morgan’s court. They will be here within the fortnight.”
“What will you tell him? About what you did.” Undiluted resentment was dripping from my tongue, clouding my vision.
Linus’s eyes slid away. I recognized it for the merciless gesture that it was. “The truth. That you sabotaged the mission. You betrayed us. That I had to send you into exile before Morgan could destroy you.”
“He’ll come after me. He’ll want to hear it from me.”
It wasn’t a threat. We both knew Lynx’s people had named him well. The Lionheart didn’t abandon his soldiers, especially those he called friends.
“Perhaps.” Linus’s head tilted in cold contemplation. “But if you care for him at all, you’ll go into exile and never darken our court again.”
Choking on a rising tide of terror, I forced out, “Why don’t you just kill me?”
A shrug. “Lynx would never forgive me. This’ll be better in the long run. Do it.”
Linus jerked his chin at the fae with the blade and swiveled on his heel, showing his back to me. He was walking away. He didn’t even have the guts to carry out the sentence himself.
A powerful hate gripped my heart, twisting it. Poisoned words slipped out. “They were right. Your people were right to call you the Ironhearted King.”
Linus halted. Motionless and rigid, he didn’t look back as he breathed, “Goodbye, Frazer Novak.”
My king made it to the balcony opposite and fled to the skies. Coward.
The fae on my right grasped the curved blade in both hands while the other held me fast. Honor and dignity forgotten, I started to struggle. More fae rushed forward from the back. They held me down, pulled my wings out wide.
Pissing myself, screaming, begging, crying—none of it stopped a scimitar from coming up. Then down. My wings. My beautiful wings fell away, and heart-stopping pain rushed in, sweeping away everything. Darkness came, consuming me. I welcomed it with open arms.