My blood chilled, recognizing Auntie’s words being echoed through her. “Time for what?”
Liora opened her mouth but looked lost. Cai picked up the conversation by infusing each word with meaning. “To start exploring its limitations.”
I knew he meant the necklace.
Frazer shifted. As if uncomfortable. What’s he talking about?
“How do I do that?” I asked Cai.
Serena? Frazer’s mental voice was insistent.
My temper flared. “Frazer, just give me a damned minute.”
Stars, he did not like that. For one unbearable moment we glared at each other. His will bent first and he looked away, jaw pulsing, hands clenching.
Cai regarded us carefully. “A good place to start would be figuring out if what you share with Frazer is unique, or whether you can communicate with others in the same way.”
“How?”
“Ask.”
It was obvious again he meant talking to the necklace—to Auntie. It wouldn’t do any good. She never answered my interrogations.
Anger quivered in our thread, throbbing, insistent. Frazer had guessed Cai knew something he didn’t. That I was hiding something. And Frazer hated it. I didn’t blame him.
Cai looked up toward the canopy and beyond. “Anyway, we should go. Adrianna’s probably getting pissed we’re taking so long. I’ll take point.”
He turned and walked into the forest, leading us, trusting us to fall in line. Liora hesitated, glancing between Frazer and me. Then, hand on hilt, she went after Cai. Frazer stepped back and gestured for me to go next. His face was stone.
Shit. I could tell him now, but …
We will talk about this.
He just stared. Unconvinced. I moved off without another word.
Chapter 16
The Past
Time slunk by. Although, in the eternal twilit forest it was impossible to say how much. It felt like hours. We didn’t slacken our pace once, and apart from the odd call from Adrianna to adjust our direction, no one talked. My mood steadily declined as I spent much of that time trying to pry answers from Auntie, who gave me nothing. Just the odd reassurance that she’d tell me everything—one day. I tried to bypass her and talk to Liora, mind to mind. A headache was my only reward.
My patience eventually broke. Whatever magic the necklace contained, I couldn’t control it any more than the changing weather. A damned shame, because the airless forest had grown heavy with the cloying scents of sharp pine and damp earth. Warm droplets began to rain down, and the dry, splintering crack of thunder sounded, making me pull my cloak’s hood up and glance skyward. Adrianna was just a blur; she seemed fine. Perhaps it was cooler up there, above the suffocating weight of the canopy. Envy flooded me. What must it be like to have that kind of freedom? To leave everything behind, even if just for a moment.
It’s glorious.
The bitterness rolling through Frazer’s words made my skin itch. I slowed, and he barged past. Never a good sign.
Frazer?
Don’t, was his only reply.
I watched his retreating back, feeling for echoes, whispers, in the bond. It was the only way to know what was going on with him: the only way to read him if his thoughts were closed to me. An aching loneliness sounded back. A distant, dark place, like his soul had turned the shade of nightmares.
I walked fast and caught up to him. Flanking his side, grasping for his arm, I said, “You’re angry and you want answers, but you won’t tell me a single thing about your past. I don’t even know your second name. How is that fair? I’ve shared things with you—”
His arm went wide, breaking my grip. And most of those things I sensed through this connection first. He waved between us. Who knows if you’d have shared them willingly. And as for my past, that is mine to share if and when I feel like it. But you’re hiding things that affect us both, so what makes you think you’ve got the right to hear my story?
His eyes were bleeding wrath. Bracing myself, I moved my hand to his. Frazer pulled away and tried to storm off again. I blocked his path and showed him my palms. His deadlier set of canines erupted.
A growl ripped loose from his throat. A vicious warning.
To push this now, when we were vulnerable, was lunacy. But I couldn’t take the deafening silence. I couldn’t take being shut out. Not anymore. “I know I should’ve told you.” I gestured up and down his body. “But this darkness—whatever this is. It’s eating you up. Talking might help.”
What would you know? What d’you know about anything? You’re a child.
My chest hollowed out.
Adrianna landed beside us, shaking her scaled wings free of the rain. “Get away from him, Serena. He’s not himself.”
“What’s wrong?”
Liora had obviously doubled back. But I didn’t listen; I didn’t move. Frazer was in deep, deep pain. Shadows haunted his eyes, and his chest fluttered with shallow breath.
Cai appeared. “Serena, leave him.”
The demand—the order—in his voice set my teeth on edge.
Adrianna began, “You can’t push him to be ready. If he doesn’t want to let you in—”
“You want to let me in though, don’t you? A part of you does.” I was speaking only to Frazer.
You know nothing. He snapped his teeth at me and hunched down, threateningly.
“Serena!” Liora called out, alarmed.
“He won’t hurt me.” A certainty.
Adrianna cautioned, “Really? Because anger and aggression are coming off him in waves right now. I can smell it.”
“Enough.” A clear command because it was my choice. “You wanted me to explore this supposed power.” My eyes darted first to Cai, then Liora, and finally to Adrianna. “But she won’t let me connect to anyone else. There’s only him.” My gaze settled back on to Frazer. “Only you.”
Another clap of thunder boomed out overhead. And Frazer looked ready to attack or flee. I couldn’t tell which.
“What d’you mean by ‘she’?” Adrianna sounded intrigued.
I ignored her and added, “I don’t want any of you interfering.”
Now, I focused all my attention on to Frazer; instinct made me tug on our bond. A fierce, sharp tug to hold him. Then, I hurled my whole self toward that dark, glittering shield like a wave cresting the shore.
Frazer’s face went slack. He threw a hand in front of his face, hissing, If you try to … What are you doing?
His arm lowered; a confused expression appeared as I flooded the outside of those high, high walls, letting my memories, my essence, rise around him and shine …
My mother holding me, brushing her fingers through my hair.
Father sweeping me into his arms—his strong, bear-like arms—keeping me safe from a storm outside.
Weeping at my mother’s grave.
Viola knitting me a scarf, her hands blurring as she brought the needles clacking up and down.
Elain screaming. Slapping me hard.
John teaching me to bake a cake.
Smelling the pages of a book Viola had just bought me.
The memories came unbidden now. A tempest with no rudder. My story—a collection of thoughts and feelings flowing out of a well so vast, I feared drowning us both.
Gus’s hot, sticky tongue. The sickening possession in his eyes.
Elain’s insults. Her joy when she thought she’d ruined me.
I wanted to turn away and hunker down into some distant corner of my mind. I was trusting Frazer with everything—maybe too much. But the thread sang to me his awe and rage and sadness as he processed my memories. So I hung on, and let go.
The torrent went even quicker.
Gus’s ribcage lying split open on the frost-bitten earth.
Hunter helping to force a sleeping potion down my throat. Hunter’s wing sheltering me.
My doubts, my fears of coming to Kasi.
Fighting with Wilder. The resulting desire uncurling itself in my belly like some sleeping, half-starved beast.
The necklace came next. Then, Auntie’s voice.