My heart stumbled.
Adrianna interrupted our silent conversation by snapping her teeth. “I’ll never get used to you two talking like that.”
“Sorry,” I lied.
Adrianna’s lip turned as if she suspected the truth. “Just tell me—is whatever you were talking about something we should know?”
Cai and Liora looked curious, expectant.
I wanted to keep the memory buried deep, deep in my soul. But they were all willing to flee and face the wolves with me … I owed them the truth.
“My mother came to me in a vision when the magic poured out. She told me to go east and find my sister.”
Jaws dropped, and eyes widened in surprise. All except Frazer’s.
Adrianna cast off the shock first. “How in courts name d’you expect to find one female on a continent five times the size of ours?”
That had me stumped. My mother hadn’t exactly given me a place-name.
“We’ll figure it out,” Liora said, soothingly. “Besides, we should be far, far away from Morgan when Serena’s learning to use her magic, and adapting to her fae body. And it’ll give us an opportunity to find out if Goldwyn was lying about Abraxus.”
Frazer and Adrianna grew very, very still. My back prickled in response. Something told me I’d regret asking, but I had to know. “Who is he?”
My eyes instinctively focused on the two fae in our group, but they seemed stricken. In the end, it was Liora who answered. “I always thought he was just a fae legend.”
“Oh, he’s real enough,” Adrianna said, sounding hollow. “But our history can wait. We need to get moving. Goldwyn will be sending every tracker and spider in the Riverlands after us.” Her gaze flickered behind me to Dimitri as she finished. “There’s blood everywhere.”
Frazer ignored Adrianna completely, and said, “Our elders say Abraxus almost single-handedly chased the Aldarian fae from the east. He was a leader, undefeated on the field of battle. And yet, he had no magic of his own.”
My mouth popped open.
Frazer continued with the horror. “He’s said to have hated our kind for our wealth and power, particularly our light-magic casters, who were unique to our race.”
Dread uncurled in my belly.
Shadows haunted my kin’s eyes as he added, “So, he mounted an army against us—one so feared the world over, our people agreed to exile ourselves.”
“What are we saying then?” Cai tugged his hand through his straw-colored hair, looking lost. “Abraxus is a godlike warrior who had no magic but somehow made the only light-casters in the realms flee?”
His expression went slightly wild.
Liora picked up the conversation’s thread. “And he might be coming for us all.”
“That about sums it up,” Adrianna said grimly.
“Well, fuck me,” Cai said, unleashing a cracked laugh.
My stomach turned again as things clicked. “Morgan’s been building her armies with human slaves to face that. We’ll—They’ll be massacred.”
“Absolute carnage,” Cai said harshly.
Liora winced.
Adrianna snapped her teeth. “Enough. We need to get going, not stand here discussing future dooms.” Her wrist then flicked to me. “Goldwyn saw what Serena did. And she doesn’t have the leylines to protect her from detection. All we’ve got is a concealment charm that may or may not work.”
“It’ll work,” Cai interrupted. “Making those charms might be beyond my abilities, but I can charge one easily enough.” He peered up into the noon sky. “I just have to wait until the moon shows its face.”
Adrianna followed his gaze upward. “Then we still have hours where we could be traced magically. I’ll fly above us and keep a watch.”
Cai’s head lowered and cocked to one-side. “What about your wing?”
Adrianna’s eyes drifted to his. “This isn’t time to coddle one another. If my stitches rip, you’ll just have to patch me up.”
She’d made a valiant effort at acting nonchalant. The twitch in her injured wing gave her away.
Cai stared for a moment too long. Adrianna raised her chin. A silent standoff.
Cai broke first. “Fine. If you think you can handle the pain, you best get up there and start guiding us. I’ll use my magic to hide our tracks and our scents as we go. I won’t be able to keep it up indefinitely, but my strength should last until we’re clear of this mess.”
Adrianna’s face was grim as she tightened her equipment in preparation for flight. Once done, she said, “I’ll call out directions if you need them.” With that, she soared upward.
Cai pushed out an exasperated sigh, hitched his bag higher and turned on his heel to march across the glade.
I had difficulty following; my eyes had locked onto Dimitri’s body. “What about him?”
Liora slipped her hand around my wrist. “There’s nothing we can do for him now.”
Of course, she was right, but I couldn’t seem to move. I’d avoided looking, really looking, before now. His eyes were still open, glassy and lifeless. The arrow I’d sent through his chest stuck out at an absurd angle, while his son’s wretched wing lay in a pool of blood beside him.
“It doesn’t get any easier,” Frazer murmured. As if he, too, had experienced that cold, writhing shame.
Tears burned up my eyesight. I blinked rapidly and whirled away. “Let’s go.”
Liora released my wrist and we walked side by side. Frazer padded along next to us on panther-soft feet. As I moved under the forest’s latticework, I tried to reason with my ghosts: the feelings of disgust at taking another life, and the guilt for not going after Wilder. They simply settled atop of my mind’s surface like oil on water. Head and heart locked in battle, I was only partially aware of Frazer sending me something through our bond.
Then it struck: love, unconditional and fierce. He’d never said the words. He’d never shown it through the bond. Not that he’d needed to. I’d known.
Yes, I’d known. But this was different.
Because he’d seen everything: the vile thoughts, the good deeds; every memory. Through it all, despite everything, he still loved me.
I studied the harsh lines of his face, the parts of his back where his indigo wings once rested, and those blue eyes where shadows still dwelled. Maybe, those nightmares would always haunt his face, even if love shone in tandem. That, there, was what made us kin. Because he understood what it was to be a lost soul in the world. A fallen star, exiled from home.
A grim sort of recognition flowed from him.
It didn’t wash my hands clean or bring back loved ones. And that emptiness born from my parents’ deaths that now ached for Wilder; it was still there. But our affinity and his absolute acceptance sustained me. Frazer’s thoughts brushed mine. They had a tentative feel. If the night sky doesn’t want us, we’ll build our home together.
Another emotion shuddered down the bond. I recognized the light that flowed and warmed us both.
Hope. Frazer hoped.
I let that carry me north, to Ewa.
“Only through the darkness of night can we be guided by the light.” - Meera Garland.