But on this one day, Mike had left to play soccer from a friend’s house, leaving the EpiPen. Mike had gotten stung on the field, gone into anaphylactic shock, and died. Noah had rushed to the emergency department, answered Dina and Steve’s heartbreaking questions, and comforted them while they cried.
Noah had left the hospital with their agonizing questions in his ears – did he feel pain, what was it like, did he suffocate to death – then had driven home and found the black Range Rover in his driveway. He’d spotted the temporary tag taped to the window, and in that moment, it had become clear to him that he couldn’t control anything, neither the allergens, nor Mike or his other patients. Not even his own family.
What the hell’s in the driveway? Noah had shouted as soon as he’d walked in the door.
Babe? Maggie recoiled, surprised. There’s no need to yell. It’s Anna’s car, and I already talked to her about it. She bought it with her own money.
That’s not the point! She bought it without permission!
We’ve settled that already and –
She has to ask permission! Noah had shouted, slamming the table. A glass fell over and rolled onto the floor, breaking on the hardwood. Anna, go to your room right now! You have to ask my permission for anything and everything!
Suddenly Noah came out of his reverie because Linda and Thomas were leaving the dais. He didn’t know what they’d decided. Thomas caught Noah’s eye and tilted his chin upward, in a victorious way. The projection screen went abruptly blank.
Judge Gardner turned to the jury. ‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we’re going to strike from the record not only the statement regarding Samantha Silas, but that transcript portion in general. Court stenographer, please strike that portion from the record.’
Noah’s heart sank, understanding that he would never be able to explain why he had acted that way.
‘Let’s move on, Dr Alderman,’ Linda began.
Chapter Thirty-four
Maggie, Before
Maggie knew that Noah was upset the moment he walked in the door and she knew why. She’d called the office when they’d gotten home, and they’d told her that Mike Wilson had died. Everyone was upset, and Maggie knew that Noah would take it badly, since he’d adored Mike. But even so, she would never have expected him to come home so angry. He’d yelled at Anna about the Range Rover, and she’d run upstairs while Caleb had hustled outside with Wreck-It Ralph, leaving Maggie alone with Noah in the dining room.
‘Maggie, how could you let this happen? What’s the matter with you?’
‘Noah, really?’ Maggie tried to get her bearings. She stepped back against the table, set for dinner. She’d tried to make everything special. A salmon fillet with fresh dill and rosemary potatoes roasted in the oven, filling the air with its distinctive aromas. She’d cut peonies from her garden and put them in a glass vase, and the late-day sun filtered through the windows.
‘What, really?’
‘Look, I know you’re upset about Mike, and I’m so sorry but –’
‘This isn’t about Mike.’
‘Yes it is.’ Maggie knew Noah better than he knew himself, which was probably what most wives thought, and they were right.
‘It is not!’
‘Stop yelling, you’re acting crazy.’
‘The hell I am, the hell I am! Do you know how outrageous that is?’ Noah motioned at the driveway. ‘That a seventeen-year-old buys a brand-new Range Rover, just because she wants one? Do you know how much those cars cost?’
‘Yes, but that’s no reason to holler.’
‘Evidently I have to because nobody listens! I told you that she was going to get that car. I gave you the heads-up. You dragged your feet on this, and look what happened! Who’s in charge here?’
‘Noah, lower your voice or I’m not going to talk to you anymore.’ Maggie swallowed hard, shaken.
‘We are a family. She is supposed to be a part of this family. She joins us, we don’t join her. We set the rules, not her.’
‘We didn’t have a rule that you can’t buy a car, and anyway, that’s not what you’re upset about.’ Maggie could see that his eyes were bloodshot, and he must’ve been upset after the hospital. ‘I heard you went to meet Dina and Steve. How are they?’
‘This isn’t about them, either. This is about Anna and how we live our lives.’ Noah motioned to the driveway again. ‘And that is not how we live our lives. We don’t blow money like that.’
‘It’s her money –’
‘The point is she has to ask us if she can buy something that big. She lives under our roof and she has to learn our values. That’s what parents do. They teach their children values.’
‘She’s never been part of a family before. She’s learning –’
‘She’s running the place. She even took my parking space. I can’t even park in my own driveway.’
‘Noah, we talked about it, and it won’t happen again.’
‘You’re damn right it won’t. That car’s going right back to the dealer.’
‘No, all sales are final, and I told her she could keep it.’ Maggie was trying to reason with him, despite the resentment building in her chest. ‘We can teach her our value system, no matter what she drives. She made a mistake, and that’s part of the learning process.’
‘Oh really? There’s a learning process? When did it start? Because the good ship “begin at the beginning” already sailed.’
‘I’m sorry, I let it get away from me.’
‘You sure did, honey.’
‘Stop it. Don’t be so snide.’ Maggie didn’t like the way he was looking at her, with contempt. ‘And really, is it the end of the world? Did she lie, cheat, or steal? No, she bought herself a car because she’s used to being on her own. She’s not used to asking anybody for permission because nobody’s ever been there to ask, most of all me. And it’s not why you’re upset anyway.’
‘Will you please stop telling me how I’m feeling!’ Noah scowled. ‘I’m feeling the way anybody would feel, any father, any man who came into his house and saw that it was completely out of control.’
‘It’s in control. Maybe not your control, but my control.’
‘Oh please. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger. You’re overcompensating out the wazoo. What’s she buying next, a house?’
‘Basta!’ Maggie stalked out of the dining room. ‘Clean up the glass you broke, before Ralph steps on it.’
‘Fine!’ Noah shouted after her, and Maggie stormed up the stairs, fighting tears. She reached the second floor, went to Anna’s door, and knocked quietly.
‘Honey?’ Maggie called softly.
Chapter Thirty-five
Noah, After
TRIAL, DAY 5
Noah sat on the witness stand during another conference with the judge at the dais. This time the courtroom clerk had misnumbered some exhibits, and Thomas, Linda, and Judge Gardner were fixing them, leaving Noah waiting awkwardly, his hands linked in his lap. He didn’t know what to do with himself, like someone eating alone in a restaurant, except that at the end of the meal he could go to prison for the rest of his life.
Noah couldn’t stop thinking about the fight over the Range Rover, which now marked him as Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. After Maggie had gone upstairs, he’d cleaned up the broken glass, gotten a beer, and looked outside the kitchen window. Caleb had been playing with Ralph in the backyard, and Noah had heard him talking to the cat. When Caleb had been younger, he had practiced counting in front of Ralph, who didn’t seem to mind that Caleb had apraxia and his 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 sounded like pa, poo, pee, bah, pi.
Noah had thought about how much he loved his son and what it would do to him if he lost Caleb, the way Dina and Steve had lost Mike. Even the way that Maggie had lost Anna, gone from her life, only an infant. He felt a wave of guilt that he had treated them all so badly.
Noah had gone out the back door and crossed the lawn to Caleb, with his beer in his hand. Hey buddy.
Hey Dad, Caleb had answered, and Noah walked around to the front of Caleb so they could see each other.
I’m sorry I yelled, buddy.
It’s okay, Caleb had said, but it had come out like zoky, unintelligible to anyone else, which meant he was stressed, not taking the time to formulate a motor plan and form his words more clearly.
Want to go inside? It’s getting dark.