No.
Kate tapped the red button and tried not to feel guilty for rejecting someone for a completely superficial reason. The truth was, she thought he didn’t look very well-kept in his picture. She thought someone trying to make a first impression should have tried a little harder. The next man had a nice face, and she instantly went to green. The app told her that he had also seen her picture and liked it.
Awesome. Someone in the world found her attractive. See, Kate told herself, forty was the new thirty.
Now she had a choice. Keep playing or send him a message. Not really having any idea what to say, she chose to keep playing.
Five pictures later, two no’s and three yeses, and suddenly there was a blinking orb on her screen which, when she tapped, told her that someone had sent her a message.
“Geesh. That was fast,” Kate said to the empty room as she took another sip of wine. It was clearly best to play this game a little tipsy. She read the message.
Yum, me likee.
“Not exactly poetry,” Kate chuckled, and instantly swiped on the picture in order to delete it from her view.
While deleting someone over one sentence seemed harsh, Kate was very sure that if a man walked up to her in a bar and said such a ridiculous thing, she would have turned her back to him. The equivalent of delete.
Kate played on, acknowledging that the satisfaction she got when she got a hit was way better than wallowing in self-pity on Christmas night.
Then his picture came up. She had no idea why it struck her, but it seemed to go right through to her very core. Nothing like the pictures of men with their cars, or their dogs, or their kids. Or her least favorite: standing in the bathroom with the toilet seat in the background, trying to take a picture in front of what must be the only mirror in the house.
No, this wasn’t a selfie. This was a picture someone had taken of this man, who was looking at something in the distance. Something that made him profoundly sad. Or maybe it wasn’t what he was looking at that made him sad, maybe it was just how he’d been feeling at the time.
Sad. Or lonely.
Kate couldn’t help herself. She imagined a million stories that made up the lines in this man’s face. Around his eyes, his mouth. His actual age wasn’t listed. It didn’t matter. He could have been older than her, or younger than her, but either way she realized he’d lived more in the years he’d been on this planet. That’s what his face said. She had this crazy idea maybe he could show her how to do that.
How to really live.
Kate hit the green button and held her breath.
She smiled when she saw they matched. This time when she got the prompt to message him or keep playing, she hit the message button. A box popped up, waiting for her to type something, but again she had no idea what to say.
This wasn’t her first attempt at the online dating thing. A few years back she’d done it on one major match site, with a dismal outcome. Three bad first dates and a lot of emails that went nowhere until eventually she gave up. She knew how awkward these attempts at introduction could be.
She could go with hello. How are you. My name is. I liked your picture. Or any other boring combination that anyone on the dating site had sent her. Instead, she typed what she really wanted to know.
What are you looking at?
Kate hit send and then put the phone down. She poured herself another glass of wine and looked at the clock. Eight forty-two. Well, at least she had killed some time.
It was silly to even check her phone. Logically, she knew that. It was Christmas and other than Mr. Yum Me Likee, it was doubtful anyone else was on a dating app. No, most people would be with their families. Their loved ones.
He was probably with the person who took that picture.
Kate reached for the phone and checked anyway. She gasped when she saw there was a return message from him.
It read, The ocean. When life gets difficult I look at the ocean and then I can breathe.
Kate replied.
I’m sorry life has been difficult.
A few minutes later there was another return message.
I think that’s sort of the point.
She smiled. Maybe he was right. Maybe life and difficult were supposed to go together.
She looked back at the phone. Another message.
I hope this isn’t rude, but your smile is beautiful. It made me smile when I saw it.
Kate winced and typed back.
I have rabbit cheeks.
A beat later he returned.
That’s why I must have smiled. Who knew I had a thing for rabbit cheeks? Are you having a merry Christmas?
It was probably because she was on her third glass of wine that she answered truthfully.
No. I hate this holiday anymore.