He’d been backed into a corner by a girl before. Plus there was that little thing about her wanting to take care of herself and her daughter and make the right and responsible decisions. Would Jake be disappointed in her if she backed away from that now? Would she be disappointed in herself?
He held her hand while she told him more about it. What her work would entail and where they would live. “I’m shocked she would ask me to do this, that she would trust me enough or think I’d be good at it.”
“Of course you’d be good at it, Paige. You’d be good at anything you did. And she does trust you. I think that has a lot to do with it.”
She nodded. “I want to be good at something. I want to do something more.” She wanted to be more like Jake and have accomplishments she could be proud of. Be someone Jake would be proud of.
“She’s not exactly offering me a job, it’s more like a trial. Although she insists on paying me. I don’t know. I don’t even know if I could get off work.”
“But you probably could.”
“Yeah. I probably could.”
“Hey.” He came to stand in front of her again and rubbed his thumb gently between her brows. “Don’t think so hard.”
She searched his eyes for…something. Clarity, maybe. Some sign that taking this chance to be something more was the right thing. Her chest squeezed, her lungs constricted to the point she had to focus to take a deep breath.
“So you think I should go?”
“Yes.” He didn’t even pause. “It could be a dream job. If nothing else, it’s what? Another week? Ten days? Casey will get to ride and you’ll be getting paid.”
True. But she wasn’t thinking about the money so much. She was thinking about the man.
He took her face in his hands, rubbed his thumbs under her eyes, catching a tear before it fell. “Don’t worry. You’ll go, you’ll see what it’s like, and then you’ll make a decision.”
She curled her fingers around his wrists, feeling like her heart was breaking. “Okay.”
The next day and a half crawled by. JT tried his best to concentrate on work and checked in with Lynn. Then he’d lain awake all night telling himself Virginia was only a plane ride away. That hadn’t helped so he’d switched to calling himself all kinds of idiot for even telling Hannah to offer the job. He could have said no. He could have continued like he was, convinced her he loved her and that being with him, letting him take care of her, was a good move. And he would have hated himself.
Anxious and confused, he pulled up in front of Paige’s. He’d barely stepped inside before he was assailed with Casey’s energy. She galloped over to him, all smiles and wearing her prosthesis, he was glad to see. At least he could feel good about that.
“Jake! Did you know I’m going to ride horses again? Did you know that?”
He knelt in front of her, wishing that her happiness would loosen the knots in his gut. He was doing the right thing. Repeating that fact wasn’t helping, either. “I did hear that, Pop-Tart. I would ask if you’re excited, but—”
“I am excited!”
He laughed even though it hurt. “I can tell. Where’s Mommy?”
“She’s not here. Jake?”
“What?”
With her little hand clamped down on his shoulder, her smile slipped. “I’ll miss you while I’m gone.”
His heart was crushed into a million pieces right there on the carpet stain shaped like Texas. Because unlike Casey, he knew this might very well be for much longer than ten days. “I’ll miss you too.” He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. There was a sharp buzzing in his ears and he forced himself to breathe. Casey would be fine, she’d grow and be happy. He needed her way more than she needed him.
Before he was ready, she wiggled away and galloped down the hall. He straightened, picking up the purple bear beside the couch, and faced Jenny. “I just wanted to see if she had everything she needed for the trip.”
“I think she’s all set. She just ran out to pick up her check from the diner, then she was going to do some laundry.”
“Oh. Okay.” She could have done that at his house, but she wouldn’t have asked.
Jenny looked at him with so much pity he averted his eyes. “Does she know how much you love her?”
No surprise, the truth was etched into his face. But she needed this opportunity. She needed to take it and see where it could go so she wouldn’t always wonder and second-guess herself. “I don’t want to hold her back.”
“What about holding yourself back? What if this works out and she loves it there and…” His gaze met Jenny’s and she let out a sad sigh. “You already think she will, don’t you? No, you know she will. You don’t expect her to come back.”
Jenny’s voice was pained, her eyes full of tears as she shook her head at him, baffled. “Then why are you letting her go? Am I so selfish for wanting her to stay?”
“No. You’re not selfish. You love her.”
“So do you.”