“No.”
He laid out the story for his mom, leaving nothing out. It didn’t feel good, but after his talk with Paige he wasn’t as apprehensive about her reaction.
“Jacob.” She brushed the hair back at his temple like he was five. “People say things they don’t mean.”
“But, I did mean it.”
“People mean things in the moment that they don’t mean forever. And people grow, they change. You were young.”
He looked up at her. “You think Dad would have reacted like that? Or Matt or Tony? Or any of them?”
“I don’t know and neither do you. And neither do they. I know how much you looked up to your brothers, but they weren’t perfect. You aren’t perfect. No one is. You had plans, you were shocked.”
Well, he shouldn’t have been that shocked since he’d had unprotected sex with his girlfriend. On top of everything else it was uncomfortable for his mom to know that, to know he was having sex at all. That’s not how he’d been raised.
“How do you know you wouldn’t have changed your mind if things had gone differently? I think you would have. I think after you had time to get used to the idea you would have.”
“That’s what Paige said.”
“So you told her. And how did she react?”
“Like the generous, loving person she is.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
She hadn’t exactly said she loved him, but she’d taken him back to bed, made love to him like…he didn’t know what. It was hard to explain the connection he felt, too much to assume she felt it too.
“Rachel still lives here. In a neighborhood near Tony and Beth. I’ve seen her a few times, talked to her just briefly. She has her own life now. I wonder if maybe you should talk to her, see her.”
He stared at the beige carpet. “Maybe. But you know…I’ve spent so much time regretting what happened, wishing I could go back and change things, but if I hadn’t lost my leg, I wouldn’t have met Paige. I wouldn’t have found the one person I was meant to be with.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you’ll always find the one you’re meant to be with. A winding road, a hard road, but whatever happens is what brings you to where you’re supposed to be. To who you’re supposed to be with.” She touched his cheek. “And you’re sure you’re supposed to be with Paige?”
“More sure than I’ve ever been in my life.”
—
Sunday morning, Paige stood at the rail with Hannah. Tall grasses leaned in the distance, giving in to the breeze. Three dogs yipped through a paddock, barely gaining notice from the horse grazing there. Casey’s laughter rang out as she chased Mitchell on the playground. She sighed at the perfection of it all.
“I wish she could stay longer,” Hannah said.
“Me too. It’s so beautiful here.”
Hannah gazed out over the field in front of them. “It really is. I love it. You should see it in the fall. I’m serious,” Hannah said, when she didn’t respond. “You really should see it in the fall.”
Paige smiled. Hannah was amazing, truly amazing, and Casey was already in love with her. With the combination of the animals and Hannah’s soothing voice, she could see how much progress a child could make. She’d worked with Casey again this morning and Paige had even been able to help when Hannah found herself shorthanded.
“You know, for someone who hasn’t been around horses much, you’re a natural.”
Hannah’s palomino, Whinny, ambled over to the fence and Paige reached out to rub her forehead. “I always liked them. Had that little-girl dream of having a horse.”
“And you’re obviously good with the kids. Not everyone is able to or comfortable working with special-needs children, but you certainly are. I hate that you worked, though. This is supposed to be a treat for the parents as much as the kids.”
“Are you kidding? This has been the biggest treat. Everything about it.” She’d stepped in yesterday and this morning when one of Hannah’s assistants hadn’t shown and loved every second of it. “And thanks. Coming from you that means a lot.”
“What are your plans?”
“When Casey starts school, I’ll take two classes, three if I can handle that and work.”
“Ever thought about physical therapy?”
“No, I never have.” She patted the horse again and watched Casey fly down the slide. “Honestly, that might be out of my range. Going part-time, that would take me…I don’t know how many years, but too many. And honestly, I don’t think I could juggle everything I’m juggling for that long.”
She wasn’t even sure what all a degree in physical therapy entailed, but aside from finding a way to pay for it, that would mean even more years without a real job. More years of scraping by. The pressure of real life bore down on her chest. Mini vacation over.
“Well, you know a lot already. Something to think about.”